


Is it punk rock to fall in love?

by heronstairs_trash



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: (he is not), I apologize Z Efron, James Potter ships it, M/M, Non magic AU, Remus just wants to prove Sirius is a preppy jock, TW - mental illnesses, TW - mentions of a previous eating disorder, almost dangerous use of frogs but they’re saved, brief mention of past unhealthy coping mechanisms, but Sirius thinks he’s PUNK ROCK, but it is at the beginning of a chapter, remus wants to flirt with James tbh, sirius and james go to a boarding school, there is heavy high school musical slander, they just want to be open with each other, tw : sex abuse mention, warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-03-15 12:23:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13613322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heronstairs_trash/pseuds/heronstairs_trash
Summary: when the boy who accidentally texts Sirius ends up being the sarcastic thrill his life needed, he relentlessly tries to win the boys affections and prove he’s punk rock. never mind said boy just wants to flirt with James and take naps.





	1. wrong number

**Author's Note:**

> **Sirius is bold**  
>  Remus is normal

(4:11 pm)  
my therapist says I’m almost in the healthy weight range but since I’ve always been so thin she’s not really worried about my weight anymore  
**congratulations!!!**  
**I’m very proud of you but unfortunately this is the wrong number**  
you’re not Alice?  
**No**  
**sorry ******  
**but don’t worry**  
**I’m the best person alive so it’s actually a service for you to talk to me**  
oh sorry I just got a new phone and my friends number is like almost identical to yours yikes have a good day  
**No it’s okay**  
**Also as I said, I’m proud of you random stranger**  
**and I hope your friend who is my phone number twin is too!**

********

 

(8:37 am)  
**good morning wrong number texter**  
um hello  
**You never texted me back yesterday and I just wanted to make you got your friends number sorted out**  
yes I did thanks  
also I’m still sorry about that first text  
**no worries wrong number texter don’t be worried about it, it’s fine.**  
**oh wait**  
**I’ll be back I have to go get supplies to flood a common room**  
wait  
excuse me  
good luck?! 

(11:28 am)  
**did you want an update on the flooded common room??**  
yes  
or at least context  
**I’m in boarding school**  
that doesn’t clear anything up  
**my best mate and I are in last year at the boarding school that we have been going to since we were 11 and so everyone knows us were on the football team**  
**but we obviously also cause trouble**  
oh no  
you’re one of those kids  
**no not like “ah fuck the rules were gonna fight the system just to be dicks” but fun pranks that everyone laughs at,,, even the teachers love us**  
I’m sorry flooding a common room makes people like you?  
**it was the rival house and we have a game next week against them**  
so instead of practice to ensure a win,,,, you flood them?  
**we’re gonna win anyway my dear**  
you’re sure?  
**yes I bet you**  
what are we betting?  
**you tell me your name if I win.**  
that’s stalker-ish  
**oh well In a week you’ll be in love with me so you’ll want to tell me your name**  
mmmm you’re very sure of yourself aren’t you?  
**proudly**  
good to know.  
did you get in trouble for flooding the common room 

 

(3:39)  
**yes a week of detention**  
**sorry it took so long I was in a meeting where my sentence for my heinous crime was being decided**  
Jesus  
**That’s not a lot**  
a week of detention? that sounds terrible. a day sounds like a lot. doesn’t it go on a record?  
**aweee I found a pure-rule abiding citizen**  
actually I found you  
I found a juvenile delinquent  
**wow pet names,,, were basically married**  
any way  
when do your detentions start  
**today at 4:15**  
it’s 4:07  
**yes**  
are you any where close to the detention room  
**no I’m on the other side of the school. I can be late**  
oh my god  
**are you upset that I’m planning on being late**  
yes it’s upsetting  
are you even allowed to be late to detention  
aren’t you scared to get more detention  
**are you being for real**  
yes???  
**okay fine I’m going to detention now**  
**calm your nerves my pure little child**  
are you just telling me that  
**no, I am entering the last building**  
it’s 4:11  
**yes I know**  
**I can see the detention room**  
I am here  
thank god  
**the detention teacher is looking at me weird because I am here early**  
you’re always late?  
**fashionably late.**  
you’re stressing me out  
**I’m sorry I’ll refrain from mentioning my endearing habits to you If they make you upset**  
how thoughtful  
**I’d like to think so**  
did your friend get detention to?  
**yes he is here with me I told him we had to be early today because I was stressing the possible-serial-killer-wrong-number-stranger who is also my future spouse out by being late and he said “okay” and we walked to detention**  
he seems concerned for your well being  
**he is actually.**  
**like generally in life**  
**I live with him outside of school**  
**he kept me out of a real shit situation**  
**and we share a room here every year**  
that’s actually very sweet  
I love your friend  
**wow he gets a declaration of love before me**  
I’m sorry but based on what you think I’ll be declaring my love for you by next week so you’ll get one soon  
**I’m motivated to be more charming now**  
please don’t be  
**awww!!**  
**you want me to just be myself**  
essentially  
I’m not someone to waste your wooing powers on trust me  
**I bet you are**  
you don’t know me  
I mean I know you go to boarding school which means you’re probably around my age but that’s all we know about each other  
**I’m 17**  
please don’t tell your age to strangers over the phone oh my god  
the fact that you mentioned boarding school just so blatantly kind of concerned me to, did they never teach you internet safety you hoodlum?  
**:(**  
I’m 16.  
**:)**  
**also yes they did teach us and I don’t usually ever talk to strangers**  
**but you’re interesting**  
**you have substance**  
very little substance  
**excuse me stranger I don’t like the personal slander attitude you have**  
sorry  
are you allowed to text in detention?  
**no but I am any way**  
what is wrong with you?  
**who knows**  
**apparently I have no morals**  
**I’m an absolute anarchist**  
don’t poke fun  
I’m worried I’m getting you in trouble  
does texting in detention get you in more detention  
**it’s not your fault If I text you and get in trouble**  
**I could’ve been like “hey I’m in detention I’ll text you after” but you don’t want me to die of boredom do you? ******  
I don’t want to get you in trouble  
**my choice to text**  
**you angel child ******  
angel child?  
**pure, good morals, worried about other people, obviously doesn’t get in trouble. angel child.**  
so,,, you’re the hellion, then?  
**yES I love it**  
you’re quite the character aren’t you?  
**do you mean that in a good way or a bad way?**  
neither. more of an interested way.  
**then it’s not necessarily bad.**  
**It means I’m doing good**.  
it means you’re doing mediocre  
**it’s only been half a day I have six left after today so I’m pretty confident**  
we’ll unfortunately for you, I have a doctors appointment and labs i have to leave for in about 10 minutes so you’re gonna lose a solid two hours of today.  
**tRAGIC how dare you leave me in this time of boredom and need**  
need for what?  
**talking to you.**  
wow that was the opposite of smooth  
**you smiled you know it**  
okay I’m going now  
**text me and tell me the weirdest thing you over heard at the hospital when you get out  
**

********

(6:27 pm)  
I can’t be pregnant we had sex standing up  
**what**  
weirdest thing I heard at the hospital  
the waiting room is always a wild ride  
**OhmyGod**  
**That doesn’t even make logical sense? did they not have health class in school?or google?**  
I don’t know I didn’t ask the poor girl, she seemed to be having a bad day.  
**people like that shouldn’t be allowed to have kids**  
yes exactly you should have to go through rigorous and strenuous tests about your morals and world knowledge before you force it upon impressionable tiny humans  
**and if you fail the test and are pregnant they give the kid to people who can’t have kids**  
yes  
**also “tiny humans”**  
I’m tired I forgot “child”  
**right you say stuff like rigorous and strenuous but you forgot child**  
those are both common words  
**uh huh**  
**no one else texts them tho**  
I’m sorry is this better “they make the tests hard and bad!!”  
**yes thanks**  
I’m rolling my eyes right now  
**I get the vibe you do that often**  
only when people are difficult  
**are you calling me difficult**  
yes I thought that was heavily implied and therefore your plan to get me to confess my love for you is dwindling fast you started at 0% chance and now it’s a -68% chance  
**yESS one away from -69**  
**That’s the goal**  
wow  
now it’s like,,.borderline blocking you  
**noooooo my angel child don’t go!**  
**I have only been teasing you**  
**you know some friendly banter**  
mmmmmm you have to be friends for that I think  
**I amOFFENDED we are friends I went to detention early for you!**  
and I thank you for that  
but alas, now if you’re late detention the rest of the week and get in more detention I will laugh  
**rUDE**  
**I thought we were having some friendly banter**  
**not a dISS SESSION**  
fine alright alright maybe I was being spicy  
**spicy?**  
yes  
**awe you’re cute**  
never mind the spiciness was justified  
**once again,,,offended**  
wow I’m so terribly sorry it deeply upsets me you feel that way  
**is that sarcasm**  
yeaH  
**I just want you to love me**  
sorry I’m not that easy  
**I’ve noticed**  
**You’re a challenge**  
**A challenge I will conquer**  
yeah okay put that on your dream board I’m going to eat dinner  
**wait what are you eating**  
ummmm I’m either eating ice cream or dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets  
**are you 10**  
no but I hate cooking but I like both of those foods  
**My friend and I are on the sports team and he’s the captain and so he’s always hovering we always get healthy stuff and go out for dinner cause you can leave campus for that if we’re above 15**  
gross sports and healthy food ???  
**yes I know it’s absolute chaos and I’m sorry**  
also you said you weren’t “one of those kids” but you’ve mentioned your sports team twice since we starting talking  
**becAUSE it was needed and relevant to the conversation**  
uh huh If you say so  
**you give no room for error do you**  
**I am trying to win you over**  
that sounds a little trash boy-ish  
**fine I’m kidding any way if you fell in love with me that would be fine but really I’m teasing I do want a confession of platonic love soon and I’m gonna eARN IT**  
okay you weirdo you think on how on earth you’re going to manage that and I’m an going to shower and then go to bed  
**it’s,,,.not even 8.**  
yes I’m glad to see you can read clocks  
**why would you go to bed at 8**  
why wouldn’t you  
I love sleep  
**okay fine be gone with you  
have nice dreams **

(8:11)  
okay I’m done showering goodnight  
**goODNIGHT**  
why did you half yell it  
**because you went out of your way to tell me good night right before you’re slumber so it’s a win for me I am at least 12% winning over your affection I just want to be friENDS stranger**  
okay I take the goodnight back  
**noOoOoo**  
**okay I assume you’ve fallen asleep**  
**Or at least trying to**  
**until tomorrow stranger**


	2. The plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note : I am FULLY aware of the errors in tech stuff in this chapter in terms of how they get the teacher problem taken care of,,, I hardly even know how to turn on a computer I just came up with this because I needed it.

(5:53 am)  
**goOD MORNING**  
no  
**it’s not a good morning?**  
my morning doesn’t start until 10ish  
I’m going back to sleep  
**but**  
no  
**fiNE**

(10:01 am)  
**gOOD MOrninG**  
no  
**it’s 10ish**  
I’ll text you when I actually wake up  
**alright. Good night then**

(11:57 am)  
I’m awake  
**it’s noon**  
once again, you and that clock reading is impressive  
**how do you sleep until 12  
you went to sleep at 8**  
usually I sleep like 10 hours but I had a long day yesterday  
and I kept waking up all night last night  
**you could’ve texted me**  
it would’ve woken you up  
**so? I’m good at going back to sleep  
I would’ve told you a story **  
you can’t say things like that because I will text you for one now  
**I’m okay with that!  
I’m good with stories  
also pine apples or pears?**  
to eat?  
**what else would I do with them?**  
I don’t know that’s what I’m asking.  
why?  
**yes to eat, we’re all at lunch because I’m deciding if I should steal my mates pear fruit cup or my friends pine apple cup. which one do you like better?**  
pears have a freaky texture and pineapples make my stomach hurt so neither  
**but I like both**  
you lost aLLMY respect fuck pine apples  
**are you just bitter because they make you sick**  
yes,,,  
**which one should I eat since neither make me sick**  
eat the pine apples  
**I thought we hated them**  
we want them gone  
**you just made me choke on my drink I don’t why that was so funny  
I look like an idiot because I’m not talking to anyone **  
oh, sorry  
**for what?**  
distracting you when you should be talking to your friends  
**no it’s fine I’d rather text you  
we have an agenda **  
oh yeah,,, confessing love  
**the goaL IS platonic love confession because we’re all about making friends**  
mmmmmm no  
**then what are you all about**  
putting my phone on silent so I can finish reading my book  
**juST ABANDON Me then**  
you have a lunch table full of friends  
**truE BUT they’re not you**  
no they’re better you can see them and stuff  
**seeing isn’t necessary for love  
what about the agenda??**  
they say absence makes the heart grow fonder  
**yeah but that’s a lie  
you left already didn’t you  
I hope the book is worth it  
no I really hope it’s a good book  
you should tell me about it if you think it’s good**

-

(2:09 pm)  
**are you in love with me yet**  
shouldn’t you be focusing in class  
**I should be yes but it’s boring and you’re not boring  
back to the question**  
you don’t want me to be in love with you  
**yes I do**  
no  
**yes**  
Listen there are so many things you don’t know about me  
there are so many things that I do know  
they aren’t the deal breakers  
**then tell me what is. I’ll tell you why they don’t matter  
okay maybe don’t then  
we can talk about something else **  
Fine. Here’s a factor :you don’t know if I’m a bird or a bloke  
**doesn’t matter to me really  
I like your brain and you’re interesting**

 

(5:12 pm)  
sorry I made your class boring and actually made you listen instead of distracting you but I had to go out with Alice. she summoned me for entrainment  
also I’m not that interesting  
**I thought you didn’t not text me because I told you I didn’t care if you were a girl or a bloke**  
oh shit  
no  
no never that didn’t even cross my mind to be put off by that I’m sorry like really really sorry I didn’t mean to  
I can get proof from Alice she gave me no choice but to leave with her before I even got that text from you  
**No it’s okay it’s alright angel child, I believe you, you couldn’t have changed a shitty mindest in 2 hours**  
I’m just so sorry it came across that way I didn’t mean it  
**it’s alright I prOMISE**  
okay good  
are you sure  
**oh my god yes**  
really  
**listen I’ve gotten shit from people i was really close to for being bi and I’ve dealt with homophobia before my whole life so I’ve learned to not let that stuff get to me like my best friend helped me realize it’s not my fault people think that way so if that’s what had happened it wouldn’t have upset me but I’m glad it wasn’t like that because I like talking to you**  
okay good I’m glad that makes me feel better  
**you didn’t do anything**  
I know but I’m still sorry  
**I feel like if we stay on this topic you’ll never stop apologizing**  
exactly  
**So new topic  
I have fake mice in my pockets **  
who’s the target  
**McG**  
you’ve mentioned that name twice  
**jealous?**  
no, concerned about their well being.  
**she loves me and my best mate, she’s our head of house. It’s nothing mean, just filling all her drawers and cabinets in her office with fake mice**  
why fake mice?  
**long long story  
that I’ll tell you one day when I’m not trying to accomplish a very important task **  
dear god  
what even are you  
**a criminal master mind**  
mmmmmhm if you say so  
text me when you’re done with the mice  
**aWE YOU WANNA TALK TO ME??**  
no I want to know how much trouble you’re going to get in  
**none**  
I bet you 5$ you get at least one detention 

(9:03 pm)  
**guess who lost 5 bucks just now?**  
it’s you, isn’t it?  
**yeah :(**  
I toLD you  
**yes I knOW  
It’s all my friends fault **  
oh I’m sure it is  
how many detentions?  
**two but I also have a paper to write**  
why don’t you do that now?  
**I should be but you’re awake**  
no, I’m not  
**good night moony**  
moony?  
**it fits**  
I never even see the moon I sleep while it’s out  
**exactly! I associate the moon with the night and sleeping and now also you**  
you’re the worst at nicknames  
**oh you have no idea  
moony remind me tomorrow to tell you what me and my best mate call each other I’ll let you sleep now **  
mkay goodnige  
**that’s how you spell that word**  
shush  
**gooDNIGHT MOONY**

(2:32 am)  
I hope this doesn’t wake you but Shelob and I are awake and she doesn’t want you to forget to tell me the terrible nick names you and your friends have (I don’t care, it’s shelob she’s nosy)

 

(6:02 am)  
**aWE That was such a nice thing to wake up to you were thinking of me at 2 am  
why were you even up at 2 am  
who is shelob **  
I was up thenbUT IM SLEEPING NOW  
Shelob is my cat  
**oh right yeah you don’t exist before 11ish sorry**

 

(10:57)  
I’m awake  
and eating cereal  
**aweGOODMORNING  
also nutritious **  
yes I am the height of health thank you  
**you once called healthy food and sports gross**  
this is not how you win someone over  
**oh right sorry I mean yes you are the health god**  
that’s a bit dramatic  
**it is my birth right as a bisexual to be dramatic**  
my best friend Alice is bi too and she’s very calm and level headed  
**damn I have to fight to get you to be my friend and now I have to fight to be your favorite bisexual**  
mmmm it’ll always be Alice but you can be second  
**that’s almost acceptable**  
what class are you in  
**Economics**  
That’s imPORTANT I just remembered I’m distracting you from getting an education  
**I can sleep through this class and get a 100 he doesn’t care if I’m on my phone he doesn’t make you pay attention he just says “it’s your fault if you fail”**  
That’s terrible  
**it’s smart**  
no because he’s a teacher the kids are his responsibility when they’re in his class  
**yes I know but no other kid cares expect you  
and you don’t even go here **  
that bothers me  
I want you to pay attention  
**moony don’t go**  
I have a book to read and a paper to write  
wait you never told me the names  
**I call my friend prongs and he calls me padfoot**  
like,,,dear antler prongs or like fork prongs  
**fork.  
obviously **  
right excuse me obviously I kind of want context but I also don’t.  
padfoot?  
**like a doG has padded feet**  
yes but why is it dog related  
**ummmm you’ll find out when you learn my name**  
that’s very ominous and concerning  
I’m gonna go read to calm my nerves  
**but what about me????**  
pay attention ???  
**fine**

 

(11:42 am)  
**why do you always bag on me for texting in class when you obviously have to be doing the same thing**

(1:32 pm)  
**okay so your daily routine is not something to bring up got it**

(2:58 pm)  
**how smart would it be fight a teacher  
not smart at all **  
do not  
please  
no absolutely not  
**he’s a racist and he didn’t get in trouble for perving on underage girls and he straight up bullies kids  
he asked about my address change when I moved into Prongs house with his family and like called me a spoiled kid for not just being accepting of the family I had and if they knocked me around I probably deserved it  
like he’s the head masters nephew so no one cares but he outed a girl last year for being trans and she almost killed herself like he’s shitTy  
All the teachers hate him  
especially McG**

Mmmm then take his phone and subscribe him to a porn account and re route his projection from the board to his phone and when he goes to teach it’ll just project the image you selected on his phone and get him fired  
**oh my god  
ohMY GOD **  
what  
**yOU what happened to my little angel baby**  
I spend to much time talking to you maybe  
**how do you reroute the projection?**  
like really  
are you gonna do that  
**yes**  
Um okay it’s a lot of steps but it okay takes like 5 minutes will you be alone with his computer and his phone for that time  
**yes My friend and I have detention cleaning his promethean board, chalk board, and everything else and he’s not in there when we do it and someone can get his phone for us before then  
It doesn’t have a passcode**  
okay I’ll just tell you how to do it then  
go to his computer settings and find add ons and click the projector and don’t press change just press add an account and enter his phone number or the ID number on the back of his phone if it’s an iPhone  
and then pull up the porn account on his phone and make sure you can see his name like “welcome teacher name” or whatever porn accounts look like or just the verification email and go to settings and accept the invitation for projection and it’ll ask to select an image or video  
and click that image  
and verify it  
and then exit out of it and then go back to the computer  
and deselect the computer on display options like the same place where you added he phone and you’ll know it worked if there’s now something that says “selected display ready” 

**oh my god okay okay it seems easy  
ill tell you around 4:30 If it’s working**  
great glad I could help 

( 4:28 pm )  
incoming call from “hellion child.”  
*accepted*  
“did you get arrested for snooping through a teachers stuff?”  
**“hello to you to.”**  
“hello. did you get arrested?”  
**“no I want you to make sure we did this right.”**  
“alright.”  
**“so we’ve submitted the image and done all the other previous steps.”**  
“did you verify it?”  
**“on his phone?”**  
“yes.”  
**“uh...hold on...okay, now I just did.”**  
“is the setting controls still pulled up on his computer?”  
**“also yes.”**  
“now deselect the computer from display options.”  
**“okay...wait that ‘selected display ready.’ thing just popped up.”**  
“that’s good. the next time his projector is turned on then it’ll show up, and if you’re worried about him using it before the next class just take his remote or some thing. or hide the cord.”  
**“genius. evil genius.”**  
“well you said the teacher was an ass.”  
“he is.” a different voice said  
**“that was my mate James. that’s who I call Prongs”**  
“well I’m glad you and James successfully carried out another delinquent activity”  
**“you do know we were just going to think of something else but this whole thing is you.”**  
“you sound amused by that, I on the other hand, am concerned where my morals are.”  
**“your morals are helping me and trying to get racist shitty teachers fired”**  
“did you tell him about the girl who almost killed herself because of him?” James voice interrupted  
**“I did.”  
“so, Jamie and I are not cleaning flitwicks class room, what are you up to?”**  
“nothing. I was reading and I fed shelob.”  
“shelob?” James asked  
“my cat.”  
“what kind of name is shelob?” James inquired, sounding incredibly amused  
**“Yeah I never got context for that name either”**  
“well it’s a creepy cat. and shelob is the giant spider from lord of the rings, who is also creepy and shelob is my spider killer so it fits”  
**“oh my god.”**  
“what? she kind of grows on you.”  
**“uh huh. James and I watch lord of the rings at least three times a year and I don’t think we could’ve just recalled the name of the spider.”**  
“to be fair I had also just read the book the day Alice gave her to me.”  
**“why did she give you a cat?”**  
“her boyfriend won it for her at a fair when it was a kitten but she has dogs and they would’ve eaten shelob.”  
**“awe look at you, saving cats from their poor unfortunate fate.”**  
“yes that is my legacy.”  
**“A nice legacy, one id like to further discuss but I have to go McG always come in to check mine and James’ progress when we’re left alone for a detention. I’ll text you later about how much I hated scrubbing this dicks board.”**  
“okie dokie. have fun cleaning.”  
**“don’t sounds so happy about it.”**  
“sorry, have fun. bye.”

6:23 pm  
I’m going to Alice’s so you can text me as much as you want I just won’t look at my phone until the morning probably 

6:48 pm  
**awe If you’re with Alice who takes care of Shelob  
I can’t believe you named a cat after a spider  
actually yes I can **

7:32 pm  
**you know James and I probably won’t even get a detention for what’s going to happen tomorrow because Flitwick didn’t even know we had a detention in there only McG**

7:54 pm  
**wow we haven’t even been texting five days and I already don’t like this space  
start checking your phone with you’re with your friend  
actually no have fun I just  
moONY I MISS YOU **

9:53 pm  
okay back goodnight also don’t hate on Shelobs name and I think McG is my favorite person imalso so tired I’m sleeping as I type this so goodnight let the bed bugs eat you 

10:39 pm  
**you tooK TIME TO TEXT ME yes more progress  
although the bed bug comment kind of concerns me  
either way goODNIGHT MOONCAKES SLEEP WELL**

 

8:29 am  
**Wake UP**  
whAT is so important you couldn’t wait until 12 to tell me  
**teachers are talking about how in first class kids freaked out because Flitwick has porn on his board show up and he freaked out cause he couldnt take it down**  
you know I kind of feel bad about this  
**I do to but he’s done so much shit to people and he has a lot of money he just teaches cause it’s easy because if he used to fuck up then the head master would cover his ass and he can’t do anything else so he has stuff to fall back on**  
okay good  
I mean I shouldn’t be relived about that because racist and sexists and shitty people like that deserve nothing  
**exactly**  
do you think he’ll be in trouble?  
**yes  
a suspension at least  
oh my god **  
what  
**because he’s leaving apparently all the girls he tried to get to sleep with him are telling about it and some have proof so his ass isn’t coming back  
what the fuck **  
wow instead of some useless knowledge about rerouting projection I should’ve learned how to join a drug cartel so i could get him kidnapped and shipped off to a different place in the world in a small box  
**but then he’d just do shitty stuff there too**  
no he gets washed up on an island where they eat him  
**so you’re saying you want to murder him**  
no,,, I’m not the one killing him no one is hurt the cannibal island people are just trying to survive  
obviously  
**I love your brain so much  
you’re adorable **  
okay moving on  
**okay let’s talk about the phone call**  
I’m terrible with people I know  
**no!! not what I was going to say, you won James over. you’re voice is adorable, also I kNEW you were a bloke**  
mmm is that a bad thing?  
**no I just had an inkling**  
Oh by the way I didn’t say anything when you said it because we were talking about that teacher but what he said to you when he was talking about your address change was shitty and wrong and that plus all the other stuff makes me want to gutter stomp him  
**Gutter stomp?**  
I don’t know what it means but I feel it  
**it’s cute and you don’t seem intimidating at all but it’s so sweet you went out of the way to say that  
also thank you so much  
and I know I mean I used to think it was my fault but I don’t any more I know better**  
good I was gonna say I’ll gutterstomp your family too but I feel like that’s too touchy so we’re just gonna pretend I said the perfect thing that you needed to hear  
**that was the perfect thing  
it wasn’t just a disagreement my parents and I had  
I mean I never got hit until I was like 13 but there was so much yelling and shitty stuff said and they’re close minded bigots that fucked up my little brother and I say I moved out but I got disowned like I can’t go back **  
even if there never was any hitting that kind of stuff can be just as bad and I’m so sorry about all of it like I know I can’t make it go away or anything but I can be here for you to vent to or talk shit about them wherever you need or distract you when you don’t wanna think about it but I’m so glad you got out of there and are living with James  
thank James for me tell him I love him  
**A LOVE DECLARATION BUT NOT FOT ME THIS IS TREACHERY**  
sorry it is what it is  
**I won’t forgive you for that  
and moony thank you like I’m okay most of the time in all honesty, I used to shut down and just be angry but most of the time it’s fine **  
good  
I’m glad  
**Me too  
jAMES SAYS HE LOVES YOU BACK  
I’m making a list of people who have wronged me and it’ll just say “moony and prongs” over and over **  
That didn’t make me upset at all I just kinda laughed  
**That’s even better then making you upset  
Prongs and I have football practice since second block is canceled (cause Flitwick is gone) so well probably go through half of lunch too I’ll text you when we get out don’t miss me too much **

 

(10:22 am)  
football practice  
I once watched a movie with a scene from a real foot ball game and a lot of shows have foot ball in it so I am a pro in the knowledge of sporting  
never mind I just read what I texted you to Alice and she asked me how many points a goaL is worth and I don’t know 

(11:02 am)  
did you know Luna moths have no mouths. Like once they emerge from their cocoon, they have a 7 day lifespan during which they mate and then starve to death  
I’m reading one of Alice’s text books to avoid doing my school work and I read that I thought it was kinda fucked  
It’s English so I kinda wanna do it  
but I’m tired and don’t wanna get up

(11:38 am)  
If you read a story in the news on how someone voluntarily let dogs consume them it’s about me  
It’s because frank is here we don’t like frank  
so preferable then be nice to frank and pretend he doesn’t riddle me with annoyance I’m going to let Alice’s dogs eat me 

(12:02 pm)  
flaw in the plan,, Alice’s dogs will not eat me even when I ask them very nicely all I get is frank walking in to the kitchen asking why I’m sitting on the floor talking to the dogs like they’re people  
hoW disrespectful is he like I would say please to a person if I was asking them the same thing 

(12:27 pm)  
your football team must suck if you have to practice for this long  
is someone really your friend If they make you leave the house even after you claim you’re allergic to it 

(12:42 pm)  
**1\. No I didn’t even know Luna moths were a thing that’s wild and seems pointless but I’m just going to let nature do it’s thing, also you’re a neRD,, reading a text book to avoid school work also “I like English” are you okay  
1\. Dogs don’t just voluntarily eat people also fuck frank  
2\. You asked the dogs nicely and said please? awe also once again fuck frank  
3\. we don’t sUCK MOONY we also had a break and hung out for a while I just didn’t have my phone and yes they are they just want you to get out more **

“Fuck frank” I agree also I don’t need to get out more I can’t do anything inside that I can outside  
**run around?**  
yeah but I don’t wanna do that  
**get some sun**  
also a no  
**see people and be out and socialize**  
another no.  
**Huh you’re quite the socialite aren’t you**  
okay sometimes I don’t mind doing my work or reading outside on the sun but Alice brought frank  
**wait i didn’t ask why we hate him**  
that’s a back story for another time I have to go and eat Chinese food now  
**throw some at Frank for me**

(2:58)  
I didn’t throw food at frank I don’t want Alice to be upset  
**It took you that long to eat Chinese**  
No we’re still walking around  
**Well tell me when you get done tell me more about frank we have a sub in this class and three phones have already got snatched**  
Yikes I’m sorry you have to pay attention today 

(4:26)  
**I’m out of classes for the day**  
i JUST laid down on my bed as I opened this conversation you sent that text  
**we’re soul mates**  
i just think it’s a coincidence  
**nooooooo**  
**there will be platonic love at least**  
**I bet James’ left leg on it**  
he needs that  
**I know that why I didn’t bet it on something I’d lose**  
If this is what friendship is like with you then you can keep it  
**moony I bet your legs are too nice for me to risk losing them I wouldn’t even dream of it**  
I bet James legs are nice  
**don’t even play with my heart like that**  
but I mean ,,, are they  
**yes very nice he’s been playing foot ball since he was 11, he eats very good, and we go running**  
nice  
**stoP THINKING BOUT JAMES**  
sorry  
Shelob says she doesn’t blame me  
**shelob loves me the most and you know it**  
Shelob and I are taking a nap after me being gone twice today so I guess she’ll have to sleep on that  
**but,,, detention?? what will I do**  
tell James i like his legs  
**I will do no such thing**  
:(  
**nO SAD MOONY**  
**thank you! I bet you have nice legs to! -James**  
**are you happy**  
yes thanks good night  
**Good night!**  
sleep well  
I hope you and shelob have nice dreams

(5:48 pm)  
Shelob and I didn’t have nice dreams  
**Awe moony**  
It’s okay I’m just tired I want to sleep and not be disturbed by,, like my self you know  
**I used to get bad dreams when I first lived in James house or first got to the school like everytime I got out of that bad house they would happen for a while**  
I’m sorry  
**It’s okay I was just telling you so you know you could talk to me  
Because usually it’s just me pouring out my problems and my day**  
I ask though  
**I know I’m just saying**  
thanks  
Tell me about football practice or school or anything  
**uh James and I are usually mostly in charge and our warm up today was to play dodge ball**  
that doesn’t surprise me  
**The girl who James really really likes like since 1st year came by because she’s friends with the volley ball team and they adore about the schedule for practicing warm ups in the gym and I had to talk because James just saw lily and like shut down**  
Awe that’s kinda cute  
**He’s never asked her out**  
**He just accidentally used to seen like an ass around her because he tried to hard  
poor James **  
If Lily’s nice she probably gets that he can change and seen he isn’t like that any more  
**yeah but if he never says anything to her she can’t say yes**  
yeah but if he doesn’t say anything she can’t say no  
**that’s exactly what he says**  
he’s smart  
**no!**  
**it’s flawed and gets you no where**  
**Moony**  
**moon cakes?**  
**you probably fell asleep**  
**good night my sleepy little moon pie**


	3. Distract me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this is a very sirius-centric chapter but Remus will get his time to share his tRAGIC back story

(7:02 pm)  
**we won!!!!!!**  
really?!?  
***sent an image***  
**lOOK AT THE SCORE BOARD**  
**of COURSE WE WON**  
I guess you did  
congratulations I’m very proud. I’m glad you,,,ran,,, and threw the ball..(or whatever you do in sports) very well!  
**you’re too cute**  
I don’t know sports  
**obviously**  
but you do it well apparently  
**I do everything well**  
**we won so you owe me a name**  
I mean you don’t owe me  
you don’t actually have to tell me  
it’s terrible  
**you keep saying that but it can’t be as bad as mine**  
you can’t make any twin jokes  
**??**  
just say you won’t  
**I won’t make twin jokes**  
my name is remus  
**aRE YouKIDDING that’s so cute**  
no  
**yes**  
no  
**yes**  
it’s not  
**it is**  
I’m not going to argue  
**yes you are**  
no I’m not  
wait  
did you just do that on purpose  
**yes**  
**I’m sirius ******  
is it because you think you’re a star  
**no my name is sirius**  
are you joking  
**no I’m sirius**  
that’s so much better than Remus I mean,,. a star??  
**but it’s weird**  
shut up  
**okay it’s a little fun**  
there you go  
also the padfoot name makes sense like “dogs have padded feet” like Dog Star hA  
**did you just know the Sirius constellation off the top of your head**  
yes  
I like learning stuff like I read books  
**nerd**  
jock  
**no take it back I am punk rock**  
preppy jock  
**noOooOo my reputation is falling apart**  
you’re drama queen reputation is perfectly in tact  
**okay great I was worried about that one too**  
I thought you might be  
Quick question before I fall asleep : favorite song at the moment  
**oh cute ummm**  
**disappear here by bad suns**  
**I usually like older music but I don’t know it’s just a cute song**  
**are you asleep**  
**we should ask questions before bed all the time**  
it’s a thing now  
**it’s an us thing**  
**good night remus**

(11:44 am)  
good morning sirius  
I am awake before noon  
**hardly**  
hey it’s something  
**did you sleep well?**  
actually yes, very much so  
did you?  
**no but I’m glad you did**  
I guess for a night our sleeping patterns switched  
I wish to switch them back because when you have mine, you on little sleep seems distracted  
**I am**  
**distracted that is**  
**I’ll text you later we’re at lunch**  
okay, feel free to dwindle down the pine apple population again I encourage it 

(2:22 pm)  
**Fuck today**  
**sorry that was so aggressive it’s just been a lot**  
**you don’t need to concern yourself with it**  
vent  
do it  
**It’s my little brothers birthday, the one still with my creators, and since I’ve been disowned he’s either had snarky shit to say or avoids me and we used to be really really close and he knows they’re wrong, or at least he used to**  
**and so already I woke up feeling like hell because it’s my brothers birthday and I can’t do anything about it right?**  
**well I was just trying to stay calm and breathe and James and I just went to lunch and sat with our friends like normal ******  
**and I watched my brother a few tables over open his letter from our parents and his present right which didn’t really bother me**  
**until we’re leaving and one of his friends says “surprised you’re not more upset about how you’re real family won’t ever love you enough to send you gifts like they did your brother. it’s a shame you still have access to the fortune, they probably want you to keep up your image but based on your living situation and your friends you don’t care if people think your trash”**  
whAT the fuck  
**so I punched him**  
good he deserved it  
I mean I know that was the easy way but you shouldn’t let people get to you and lash out it makes you angrier  
**and what makes it so funny is James is richer than that guy was, but not as rich as my family he just talked trash because he’s one of my brothers friends so he’s thinks he’s the shit**  
okay let’s put a pin in this rich thing and fortune thing and discuss the situation because I want to discuss the fortune thing later because ???  
any way continue  
**Im sitting in McGs office I explained it to her and James is here I’m having tea and cooling off**  
awe I love McG and James  
**Me too**  
Do you feel better?  
**kind of.**  
Just know you left a shitty situation and you haven’t done anything wrong or deserve any of it  
and I’m sorry you miss your brother, I really do believe he can still grow out of it  
not all people are as quick as you to become as accepting and well rounded  
**I hope so**  
**Thank you**  
**Like a million times thank you**  
**You have no idea how great you are**  
**I just think if I take time to cool down and maybe go running and then shower and then eat and sleep then I’ll feel better I just need a distraction you know**  
yeah, I get it.  
not the running part  
but the sleep shower sleep thing  
got that down  
**you’re ridiculous I’m smiling and half an hour ago I was punching some 15 year old in the face**  
**he’s like two inches shorter and 10 pounds heavier so it’s not like he was weak**  
**he shouldn’t have been talking shit**  
Alice used to say “talk shit, get hit”  
**I’m framing that quote**  
no don’t punch people it won’t make you feel better in the long run  
go do your run eat sleep shower thing  
**okay**  
yeah  
**I think that’ll calm me down a lot**

********

(9:32 pm)  
**I was wrong**  
**It didn’t help**  
**tell me something for a distraction please**  
uh my socks have tacos on them  
**oh my gosh Re**  
sorry sorry is that not enough I panicked  
**that was adorable I actually laughed**  
**however keep going let’s distract**  
favorite cereal?  
**Cocoa Puffs hands down**  
what about trix  
**If I hadn’t talked to you on the phone before I would think you were ten**  
no slander just opinions your turn  
**favorite book**  
veto this question it’ll stress me out and I have 11  
**last book you read?**  
The Picture of Dorian Gray  
**did it have a picture**  
no  
**stupid title**  
**last book I read was A rose for Emily for class**  
creepy  
favorite holiday  
**Halloween**  
you’re wrong  
**I can’t be wrong about my own opinion**  
yes  
pros of Halloween : chocolate  
cons of Halloween : kids, having to answer the door, having to talk to strangers, the costumes , everything else  
**this is preposterous**  
**what is your favorite holiday then ******  
umm I actually don’t know  
probably national sleep day  
**doesn’t count**  
It does!  
**you’re ridiculous**  
**favorite word?**  
discombobulation  
**mines Kumquat cause it’s fun to say**  
I just said it like 6 times out loud and I agree  
**awe I’m picturing that**  
favorite conspiracy theory  
**oooooh good question umm the Avril Lavigne one def**  
mines that the California fires were started by lasers  
**excuse me**  
there’s proof a fire wouldn’t burn the way it did and how lasers would effect the nature the way they did and a movie predicted it years ago like it mentioned the same spots that caught fire like watch the videos on the conspiracy at 3 am and then it’s more believable  
**I can’t believe you**  
**you’re so wonderful**  
**I think I’m okay now**  
it was the lasers wasn’t it?  
**it was you**  
**the lasers helped, yes.**  
I’m glad  
**it’s past your bed time**  
I can stay up if you need me I promise I’m not even tired  
**I kind of am**  
**and I feel better**  
**and I’ll probably sleep with James tonight**  
aWE tell him I wish it was me laying with him  
**wow you couldn’t even go one conversation without breaking my heart**  
you love it  
**I do**  
okay you promise promise promise you’re alright and you feel okay?  
**yes Remus i promise promise promise you know I would tell you if I wasn’t**  
good  
**I’d like to think so**  
**good night mooncakes**  
**you’re asleep aren’t you**  
**“I’m not even tired”**  
noImNot tired promise I’m awake if you wanna keep talking  
**I’m going to bed**  
**James says good night**  
**I say good night**  
ShELOB says goodnight  
**have lovely dreams of lasers**  
waIT question ?  
**what is it**  
**oH WAIT you mean question time**  
**okay yeah my turn**  
**a small thing that makes you really happy**  
clothes or blankets right out of the dryer  
**yeSSS**  
you?  
**the way it smells after it rains**  
ya very nice  
**Remus go to sleep**  
mmmkay you too, have pleasant dreams  
**I hope you have amazing marvelous dreams**  
**and thank you so much for today**  
**good night**


	4. Space dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at the beginning of the chapter there are spoilers and slander of the movie High School Musical.

(11:43 am)  
**morning remmykins**  
**thoughts on high school musical**  
it enrages me  
**that’s a pretty hard stance on a kids musical**  
well have you seen it?  
**of course**  
it’s mind boggling  
fIRST there’s that scene where they’re going to class and Chad has on 2 watches, and all he has is a basket ball. no supplies. just a basketball??  
**ball is life**  
did you just say that to me  
**I didn’t mean to it’s the first thing I thought of  
please continue your review **  
seconDLY sharpay And Ryan are seen as the villains when in reality they were the ones done dirty  
like sharpay spent years in the theatre department and then Gabriella just strides in and suddenly she’s the best? bull shit  
**you’re passionate about this**  
yeah because everyone talks about it and i had never seen it until this year and Alice made me watch it and I was disgusted  
**you forgot that Ryan and chad are totally fucking**  
theY WERE LITERALLY wearing each other’s clothes at the end of their musical number  
and have you ever seen that video where chads like “I don’t dance” but then it shows him dancing in all the musical numbers prior to this  
**yes i was questioning everything  
I like the conspiracy the whole movie is just a metaphor for Troys bisexuality **  
omfg yes the “theatre or sports I can only like one...oh wait sike” like who didn’t pick up on that  
**wow remus you’re literally my other half  
like you have no idea how funny I think your rant on this movie is  
it was playing in the common room last night and I wanted to tell you about the bi thing but I learned a whole lot more **  
oh sorry I didn’t mean to say all that then  
**nO it’s welcomed!!!!!!!! did you not read that I liked it and it was funny**  
right yes  
of course  
who doesn’t enjoy pointless high school musical rants  
**everyone enjoys them I’d they’re from you  
I promise **  
oh perfect time for topic change you know what I’ve been forgetting to ask?  
**what?**  
“access to the family fortune”  
**how is that a good time for a change of topic  
have you just been thinking about it this whole time and tried to casually bring it up **  
absolutely not I would never  
**yeah okay  
anyway  
I come from a lot of money and everyone knows I’m still related to them so they don’t want me looking and living like “trash” their words**  
give me a summary of how rich  
**castles and vineyards in France**  
yes  
this is great  
**why?**  
because not only are you a preppy jock  
but now you’re a trust fund preppy jock  
**nOoooOoO**  
yes  
oh my god this is hilarious  
**wow here I thought my money would win you over**  
mmmmm I heard James was rich too  
**not castle rich**  
but still  
**James loves lily**  
harsh  
**now you know how it feels**  
listen here trust fund jock  
you didn’t have to crush my dreams  
**I am puNK ROCK MOONY**  
uh huh i don’t believe you  
**My heart is in pieces**  
I’m sorry you can wallow while I’m at an appointment I’ll text you when I’m done  
**maybe I need a doctor to fix my shattered heart**

(2:33 pm)  
**whAT ARE YOU doing at the doctor that takes so long**

(3:29 pm)  
**mooncAKES**

(3:55 pm)  
**Remus Remus Remus  
Remus  
Remus  
Remus  
Moon cakes **

(4:17 pm)  
I’m still at the doctor  
it was suppose to take like half an hour but there were issues  
**what?  
are you okay?**  
yeah  
some things were to low on my blood tests and usually I’m fine when they take blood but I got sick and they were worried it meant something was wrong but they put an IV in  
they have to be really careful because of certain things  
**certain things?**  
don’t worry about it it’s not anything important  
I’m fine now though  
**thank goD  
you just said “there were issues” and I was ready to call like the best doctor in the world and make sure you were fine **  
okay trust fund jock chill maybe  
**I’m just worried**  
I know but I’m fine  
the height of health remember  
**ah yes  
what have you eaten today?**  
nothing because I had to get blood work done but Alice and I are meeting for cinnamon rolls when I get out  
**cinnamon rolls for dinner**  
yes  
**Remus, James would be upset please never mention your health habits**  
I like cinnamon rolls  
so I eat them  
it’s healthy  
**a strong argument  
I wish I was eating cinnamon rolls with you**  
I wish I was watching James eat healthy food  
**I wish I was watching you watch James eat healthy food**  
nah you’d ruin the mood  
**why do you do this to me  
all I do is love and support you **  
yes I know  
and shelob appreciates it I think  
i mean I’m not at home but I’m pretty sure she loves it  
**aWE  
you can’t tell me you love me so you uses shelob as a cover**  
no  
**yes admit it we are best friends forever now**  
uh actually  
my cat is just nosy and affectionate  
it’s a curse  
**you just described me**  
a curse?  
**you’re such a smart ass  
It’s cute  
I love it **  
you know what I love  
the fact that I  
gOT MY CINNAMON rolls  
**yAY  
I’m actually happy for you I don’t know why that bought me so much you **  
cinnamon rolls are a universal happy inducer  
**is that a scientific fact**  
probably  
Alice says you and James and your health food is stupid  
**listen occasionally James gets wild and has some chocolate he’s not a robot**  
I’m so hungry I love chocolate  
**aren’t you eating right now?**  
yeah  
**have I ever told you I loved you**  
there’s a tip jar in this coffee shop and it says “all tips go toward a sloths astronaut training”  
**diD YOU LEAVE A TIP**  
of course I’m not a monster  
**even though the sloth going to space isn’t real I love it  
would sloths even survive in space**  
before they sent people up in space ships they would send dogs and the first dog died  
**wHAT  
whY  
dogs can’t CONSENT TO THAT**  
I know it always enrages me n Alice when it gets brought up  
she always feeds her dogs extra snacks and I tell them I’d never let Russia send them to space  
**I’m so upset by this  
I love that you reassure Alice’s dogs **  
they worry about stuff like that  
**I’m worried why Russia  
sent dogs to space **  
they said because they didn’t know if it was safe for people yet  
**but people can consent to go see if space is safe like I know there are some people willing to die for science  
but dogs don’t know!!!!**  
yeah it’s pretty messed up  
they did it with monkeys too I think  
Alice told me she was going to fight Russia about it  
**I’m going to fight Russia space people also**  
I don’t think they send dogs anymore  
**stILL**  
yes it’s upsetting it takes a while to adjust to it  
**I am literally Dog Star**  
**My mate calls me padfoot**  
**I am such a dog enthusiast**  
**this is saddening news**  
uh I’m very sorry maybe we should’ve just stuck to the sloth  
**mmm probably**  
imagine a sloth in zero gravity  
**now I’m thinking of the dogs in the space ship**  
**the world is cruel**  
hey I’m home at Alice’s and her dogs are fine and not in a spaceship and one of them is trying to consume my left overs  
**tell them I love them**  
they barked  
**aWE THEY LOVE ME TOOO  
I wish you loved me like that **  
we can’t all win can we  
no guess not  
**especially not those dogs that got launched into space**  
you know this was in like the 1940s right  
**yes I assumed so  
it’s still a fresh wound for me I just found out**  
right of course sorry I’m being so insensitive  
**moONY we don’t have time for your smart ass-ness I’m in mourning**  
I know I probably bring this up all the time but you’re more dramatic than any person I know  
**thank you**

 

(6:22 pm)  
I had to finish an English paper and do chem home work my brain is very tired  
**I’m sorry Remus’ brain  
maybe you need pudding to feel better**  
pudding?  
**yes  
there’s a whole bunch of pudding cups in the fridge in the teachers lounge I’m in**  
are you allowed to be in the teachers lounge?  
**is that even a question you want to know the answer to**  
probably not  
how about WHY are you in the teachers lounge  
**this is the only place you can get hot chocolate from  
and James needed a place to put all the frogs he’s freeing from the science lab **  
right makes sense I get it now  
**I figured you would**  
you think the safest place for frogs is a teachers lounge?  
there is no water  
no food  
**oh my gosh you’re right**  
yeah I usually am  
**there’s a pond in the court yard however this doesn’t negatively effect the teachers to put them out there**  
you’re saviNG FROGS  
It doesn’t matter about the teachers  
**yes moony I know the frogs are being released in the pond area**  
have a nice life Bennett and Amara  
**you named the frogs?**  
only two of them. the parent frogs  
**Bennett? the frog??? That’s a weird name**  
Sirius???? the child?? That’s a weird person  
**Everything that happens in our conversations boils down to you being mean to me**  
it builds character  
**I already have an immaculate character thank you very much**  
say that to the frogs you almost put through hell by trapping them in a teachers lounge  
**wouLD YOU LET it go it’s been twelve years since that happened**  
ummmm  
it’s been 3 minutes  
**I’ve changed**  
I’m going to find a drama queen crown and carve your name into it and deliver it to you  
**aWWw REALLY**  
no  
**damn it**  
the fact that you don’t already have one shocks me more than if you did  
**James made me one out of paper one time  
but it got burned when we were trying to figure out what foods don’t taste good burnt **  
please don’t give me context to that story it will make me even more upset  
**I figured it would  
your wildest story is probably “Alice and I went to the bookstore and I planned to only buy three books but I bought five. I’m wild. someone stop me” **  
Bite me  
**that’s the ultimate goal**  
did this veer toward cannibalism or getting sexual?  
**which ever option makes you more comfortable**  
cannibalism  
unless James is involved  
**wOW**  
are you even shocked at this point  
**no but still hurt**  
you’re the one who gets to actually see James so imagine how I feel  
**you know James would never condone this harassment against me  
actually never mind he laughed  
:(**  
I’m sorry you should tell him how much I love him while I go read and finish eating dinner  
**haVE FUN I LOVE YOU**

 

(7:50 pm)  
I’m going sleep  
shelob is already in bed  
goodnight  
**Pre-sleep question : Okay I know this sounds weird but what do you look like**  
that does sound weird  
**it’s just I want an image in my head of who I’m talking to  
I already kinda might have an idea **  
an idea? based on what?  
**a stereotype. you talk like a nerd, like you’re well you’re. you’re into rules so I’m thinking glasses**  
this is bullying  
**is it true**  
I mean yeah but it’s not my fault I can’t see  
**I bet you’re adorable  
also,,,,like I get a hipster nerd vibe  
I mean the glasses are hipster glasses**  
**yES I WAS RIGHT  
is your hair brown and straight**  
it’s blonde-ish and no it’s kinda curly  
**“blonde-ish”**  
I mean I don’t know it’s more blonde in winter and fall and if I’m out in the sun you can see more red  
**oh my god okay I love it  
Keep going how else do you look**  
just with glasses  
**okAY SMART ass you know what I mean**  
umm normal I guess I mean I wear jeans and sweaters all the time like that’s all I own are converse, jeans, and sweaters because I don’t go out or have places to be and I’ve never cared before but now I get it’s nerdy  
**like,,,sweater sweaters,,,as in old people clothes**  
I mean yeah but they’re just solid colors mostly also I steal Alice’s jumpers she gets for her birthday or holidays from her aunt and uncle all the time like they go straight to me  
**youRE Adorable I love you**  
stoP  
Also if I fit my stereotype does that mean you fit yours?  
**you mean  
inCREDIBLY PUNK ROCK?? **  
sure I guess  
**combat boots, skinny jeans, leather jackets. that’s usually it unless I steal James’ clothes.  
I mean my boarding school has uniforms but kids older than 15 have free range after classes and the weekends to go anywhere and dress however but I’ve told you that and so yes **  
oh my god uniforms I didn’t even think of that  
I forgot about those!!!  
you’re the nerd now  
**Nooooo!!!  
I can’t help the uniform thing**  
yeah but still default nerd or default prep kid  
**can I say no to both**  
no sorry  
**you want me to go to sleep with a broken heart???**  
good night drama queen I hope your bed is comfortable and your dreams are nice and no one breaks into the dorm room and steals all your socks  
**excuse me**  
oh right sorry context Alice’s dogs always take socks like if they see a sock on the floor it’s theirs and it’s a conundrum in my life I hope it doesn’t happen to you  
**awe that’s so sweet and you’re so adorable goodnight**  
ghoodnilkt  
**wow you didn’t even try  
and you’re asleep  
sleep well moon cakes **

(2:18 am)  
didn’t sleep well  
at all  
**bad dream or just waking up?**  
bad dream  
It always is  
god  
**I’m sorry do you want me to go outside so I can call you?**  
why are you awake  
did I wake you up?  
**no it’s 2 am on a Friday night no ones asleep**  
I was  
**I mean normal children  
I didn’t mean that in a bad way**  
oh I know I just  
I can’t really breathe  
**once again,  
you want me to call you?**  
no it’s okay  
I promise I’ll probably just start crying  
**that’s okay**  
it’s not  
Just  
what are you doing right now tell me about it  
**I’m on the couch in the common room with lily and her feet are in my lap, James and Mary are attempting to play chess and Marlene is painting Fabian and Gideon’s nails**  
what color  
**purple  
it has glitter in it **  
awe they’ll look nice  
**they say thanks**  
**It’s funny because you used to not be able to paint your nails before a game like any sport but now no one cares and besides James and I are mostly in charge of the foot ball team and if Gideon and Fabian got conned into having sparkly nails and they want to wear it proudly  
then god damn it they will **  
“Got conned”  
**Marlene is a fascinating creature  
the only explanation I know how to give**  
your friends sound intriguing  
am I distracting you from them  
**no Remus you couldn’t  
besides a movie is on and lily is reading so we aren’t even talking to each other as a group**  
okay good  
**and even if we were, you’re in my group so you wouldn’t be bothering me**  
thanks  
once again I’m sorry  
**It’s alright mooncakes it always is I swear**  
have you had a good day  
I know last week was struggle central  
**Yes, I feel wonderful and content I have my friends(including you)**  
very nice  
Tell me something else nice  
**The first parent visit they had here after I moved out, I went to the great hall because that’s where you go to hang out if your parents can’t come and like it’s kinda fun and they make sure it’s fun so you forget about not having parents come visit and I didn’t mind at all and James called me asking why I wasn’t with him at the entrance because “our” parents wanted to know where I was**  
not that nice I’m crying now fuck you  
**awww really moony**  
I’m tired of course  
but that’s so sweet  
**I cried briefly in the hall way that day but it was fine it was more of a happy thing**  
alright I think I can go back to sleep now  
I have to put music on though so Pink Floyd or Kevin Abstract? Those are the albums I just got on vinyl so i want to listen to one  
**you have a record player???**  
yeah  
**hipSTER**  
Oh my god I wanna go to bed pick one  
**Kevin Abstract I’ve never listened to him I just know he’s lgbt right**  
yes  
**perfect**  
good night sirius  
**goOD NIGHT BABY**  
and thank you by the way  
**You’re most entirely welcome moonbeam anytime.  
sleep well  
I hope you have nicer dreams**

(8:38 am)  
whY am I awake so early  
**cause you went to bed at like 8**  
why are you awake so early  
it’s Saturday  
**I still haven’t gone to bed yet**  
you intentionally didn’t go to sleep  
**yes we snuck out at like 4 am to get coffee**  
did you get caught  
**I am texting you from Saturday morning detention  
we’re all half dead **  
woah it’s almost like sometimes there are negative effects for our actions that are stupid  
**Re what  
don’t text so smart  
my head hurts**  
soMETIMES bad things happen when we r stupid  
**no that can’t be it,  
it’s just because McG wants to spend her weekend with me and James**  
i don’t think that’s the case  
but if you say so  
**shhh I’m going to sit back to back with James and pretend to read but actually sleep no one will notice**  
Mkay text me when you get in more trouble for sleeping in detention  
**you have no faith in me and I am wounded**

(11:06 am)  
**gUESS WHO DIDNT GET in trouble for sleeping in detention  
and got in 3 hours of sleep **  
James?  
**yes  
but also me **  
perhaps McG knew you were asleep and just didn’t want to deal with you  
**nope not possible**  
you should get more sleep  
**lunch then sleep???**  
good idea also  
**yEA!!  
they have cheese bread sticks today **  
good for you  
I’m going to eat half a chocolate bar and pieces of broccoli from the fridge  
**bROCCOLI??  
you eat vegetables?? **  
I may microwave it and put 4 bags of cheese on it  
however that is a lot of effort  
**microwaving?**  
yes that’s all the way across the kitchen  
**then don’t do it and use that extra energy to eat more broccoli**  
**also have to go into a different building across campus to get back to my dorms to sleep after lunch and I am tried just thinking about it**  
me too but the microwave is still a lot  
**I understand  
James says don’t put the cheese on the broccoli and save your energy **  
James is so supportive I love him  
**I**  
**basically said**  
**the same thing**  
I’m sorry I’m to busy not microwaving my broccoli to read that text  
**oh my god**


	5. FBI is not required

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is time for Remus’ terrible back story to shine, this is a very big development in their “friend”ship. I hope it’s at least moderately okay

(8:22 am)  
**wake up  
entertain me **  
is James not available  
**he’s in a meeting with the head master**  
ah makes sense  
**even if he wasn’t I’d still want to talk to you  
you’re not just someone I talk to as a last resort **  
**I like talking to you**  
Yeah I believe that  
**Remus when have I ever made it seem like I didn’t?  
moony**  
I don’t know  
I guess I’m just tired  
I don’t think you had made it seem that way  
you didn’t do anything  
I like talking to you too but I just had a long night  
**you could’ve called me**  
I don’t want to wake your whole dorm  
**they’d be fine**  
I didn’t want to bother you  
**you couldn’t**  
look I don’t wanna talk about it right now  
talk about you  
**okay okay uh I slept for 8 hours and it was very nice except I got woken up by James sitting on my rib cage to tell me he was leaving to talk to the head master and now I’m eating from his super secret candy stash I’m not allowed to know about because I’m still bitter about the rib thing  
like I was sleeping so perfectly**  
I’m sorry you were woken up in such a barbaric way  
like I was rooting for James  
**to be fair if were not in the same bed we usually do wake each other up in mean ways**  
James is never allowed to judge my cinnamon roll eating for dinner if he has a super secret candy stash  
**that’s a good point**  
is any of the candy chocolate  
**not really it would probably melt**  
that’s preposterous  
**you’re into chocolate?**  
very much  
**good to know**  
speaking of I’m going to go eat some chocolate and then take a bath  
**you’re leaving me already?**  
find another friend 

 

(11:42 am)  
**I have a bruise from being pushed off the back of the couch for knowing about the super secret candy stash  
and stealing from it **  
he pushed you off a couch?  
**in a friendly way**  
**I poured ice down his shirt**

(2:33 pm)  
**moony**  
what  
**how’s it going?**  
Fine  
**Are you mad at me?**  
no  
I told you this morning you didn’t do anything  
just leave it 

incoming call from “drama queen <3”  
*call denied*

(5:11 pm)  
**moony**  
**re**  
**buttercup?**

(6:09 pm)  
**I got soaked in Gatorade at practice**  
I didn’t know that’s how you played sports  
**he’s aLIVE HEY MOONY**  
hello  
back to the Gatorade  
**have you ever seen in movies when people pour water or something on the coach**  
no??  
oh wait yeah yeah I know what you’re talking about  
isn’t that usually after a game though?  
**yes however we were practicing and yesterday I hid James’ clothes at practice and last week all the players got confetti shot at them - thanks to yours truly**  
**so as we were leaving practice a whole cooler of Gatorade was dumped over my head and I’ve showered but I’m sure my body will be sticky any way**  
confetti??  
**I thought they were doing good and I wanted to show my support and love**  
uh huh  
**I’m going to confetti you one day**  
please don’t  
**yOUD LOVE IT**  
if you say so  
**Remus  
are you doing alright?**  
I have already said I was fine  
**Okay  
alright. well I’m going to dinner with James and Mary and Marlene and I might not look at my phone until later but feel free to text me if you need to **  
yeah whatever have fun 

(6:40 pm)  
I’m so sorry  
I’m so mean and so terrible  
I don’t deserve  
fuck I can’t  
I’m so sorry  
I ruined your day and even though I’m nothing to you but a useless stranger who for some reason you keep texting, I shouldn’t have been so short with you today  
I’m such a waste I can’t do this

 

(7:58 pm)  
**are you okay?  
Remus  
Moony **  
**please answer me**  
I’m just having an awful day  
I don’t do well talking about it  
I mean I do but it’ll push you away  
and I’m sorry I’ve been so cold and horrid  
**I’m sorry you’re having an awful day remus you can tell me your stuff  
it won’t push me away **  
you can’t say that  
you can’t  
because you don’t know  
**I know you  
and how I feel about you and I know there’s nothing you could tell me that would make me leave that **  
I bet you 20$ there is  
**I don’t want to take your money when I win remus**  
stop  
it’s just  
fuck  
**don’t tell me things if it’ll make you feel worse, only tell me when you’re ready**  
You have to know I’m okay most of the time though and you have no obligation to me and you can stop talking to me if you want or if it’s too much  
**It won’t be**  
Tell me you will if it is  
**Fine. I know that’s always an option.**  
okay  
it’s a long story though  
**I have time**  
okay  
I have to explain like my whole life cause all of that is what’s eating at me  
**that’s perfectly okay moon cakes  
I’ve told you mine, you tell me yours**  
I’m ignoring that  
**okay just tell your story**  
um my father was(is?) a drunk and all of his friends are(were?) also and my mother is mentally ill but never took her medicine and so when I was little he would just treat her like shit and drink all the time and tell her he deserved a little freedom after having to put up with her  
**That’s fucked**  
So basically my father thought he was the shit and could do whatever  
any way one of his friends started coming into my room when they were drunk and I was a small child,,.for obvious reasons I’m not going to directly state details of what happened but you know what I’m saying,,,  
**Wait remus  
holy fuck **  
my mom found out and tried to tell my dad but since it was his friend he didn’t care  
**that’s so shitty  
I’m actually pissed **  
finally years later my dad left my mom, when I was like 12  
yeah it was a two months after my 12th birthday and that whole time like all those years that guy was still doing that  
**wait**  
**did your mom not do anything else?**  
no, I mean she thought it stopped for a year or two  
**Remus**  
she was upset about it though because she was worried it would turn me gay  
**wait excuse me**  
yeah jokes on her cause I’m gay anyway  
also a few months after my dad left when I was still 12 I tried to kill my self because idk issues and problems from my father and his friend and when they diagnosed me with what I have apparently I’d developed the same problems my mom had so my mother not only decided she couldn’t deal with me because I was going to be just like her but she couldn’t deal either with a child by herself period so she left me with my cousin and I’ve been here since then  
**what the fuck Remus**  
**at first I was like “yes mama Lupin you leave that trash basket” but,,, then she became trash basket  
Remus I’m almost in tears **  
why  
**ummmmmmmm because your life story is shitty and no one deserves that especially not my angel child**  
My cousin is like my best friend I love her so much I wanted to go everywhere with her when I was little and she’s like 12 years older than me but she’s like my sister and we always get along it’s the best thing ever I love her so it’s very nice  
**aWwee remus**  
also I have 2 therapist so it’s not like it really needs to be talked about trust me it’s been talked to death I just sometimes especially when the nightmares get bad I have the worst days  
**I’m really sorry Re  
Like so fucking sorry about all of this **  
**but still we shouldn’t brush over it you should know how I feel**  
okay but not a lot please I wanna change the subject that’s better for me sometimes  
**okay okay um when you said “jokes on her I’m already gay” I laughed but felt bad because it’s not a laughing matter but of course you did that also I love you I love you I told you I always would and it won’t ever change**  
you wanna know something else that’s really bad  
**you have more bad stuff?**  
I mean details with my mental health like being undiagnosed and not getting what was wrong with me I tried coping in very bad ways  
**hence the first text you sent me?**  
exactly, amongst very old scars  
and when I have extreme bad days I push people away like Alice and to avoid being short with her I either tell her I need space or when I go over there I just don’t talk at all and I guess that’s what happened with you today im really sorry  
**Remus I’m sorry  
I’m so sorry you feel like shit sometimes and you were treated like that **  
please hold your comments and praise for the final reveal of fucked up shit wrong with my existence  
**please don’t phrase it that way**  
uh fine please don’t tell me you still care about me until I give you more details on me  
**that’s not  
you know what never mind  
go ahead **  
that friend of my dads that did that stuff to me gave me hiv  
**is that it**  
excuse me?  
**I mean yes a terrible thing to have I mean you have to cautious about medicines and you feel like shit sometimes but I mean is that what you thought would make me hate you?**  
I  
I mean i would imagine it would work on most people  
**most people are fucked up people  
fortunately for you, you landed an immaculate, ethereal, loving, and flawless friend **  
James?  
**nO MOONY THIS WAS suppose to be A NICE MOMENT**  
sorry it was getting intense  
**I forgive you :(**  
also immaculate and flawless is redundant they mean the same thing  
**now I don’t forgive you.**  
sorry  
so I know you said this and I’m being pathetic but you really don’t care? I mean it won’t make you uncomfortable if I bring any of this up? I mean you said it yourself you knew it was always an option to just stop talking to me and forget us if it was all too much  
Sirius?  
god give me heart palpations with that prolonged wait.  
Oh.  
oh

 

(9:21 am)  
**REMUS  
Remus I’m here!!!  
I’m always here  
I never felt my phone vibrate because it wasDEAD like I had the volume all the way up for you i didn’t notice and I went to ask if you were okay but it was dead  
I left my phone charger in Marlene’s Dorm room and James and I didn’t notice like we went to bed and I woke up  
I’m here  
you’re not too much at all  
I know you said to forget about all the stuff but I don’t want to because it’s your past and it still effects you even if you’ve talked it out with other people  
I think you deserve all the good things in the world and I hate your shit parents more than my shit parents  
and I wish I knew you in real life cause I want hug you and pet your curly messy hair and tell you I love you so you know I mean all this stuff  
and I’m sorry about that friend of your dads and what they let happen to you I’m I wish i could change all of it so you’d be happier but I can’t but I can talk to you whenever you need it  
mooooonyyyy  
if you don’t text me back before 3 pm I’m calling the FBI **

(2:50 pm)  
FBI doesn’t deal with average missing persons reports, only people of interests. I would stick to average police or a PI or something.  
**oh yes my nerd baby is back**  
I was eating chocolate chip cookie dough and reading, I was busy  
**I don’t know why that made me laugh it was cute**  
and crying  
**not cute  
don’t cry **  
**also we’re you waiting until right before 3 or was it an accident**  
right before 3. I read it this morning I just didn’t want to say anything  
sorry I don’t mean it in a bad way  
i just needed to think  
??? That’s a bad way to phrase it  
I just  
**you’re fine muffin it’s okay xxxxxx  
Also I’m so sorry about the prolonged response when I saw your texts from yesterday my heart sunk I am so sorry **  
It’s okay  
I actually feel better  
**Promise**  
Yes I promise oh my god  
**Yay!!! Moonykins is happy  
I told James you were happy (no I didn’t mention anything else I mean I don’t think it’s something you should be ashamed of or anything but I know it’s your business) and he says “good he better be”**  
I mean if he asks I don’t care if you tell him  
andAWE JAMES  
**NO DO NOT “AWE JAMES”  
YouCAN ONLY “AWE SIRIUS”**  
awe Sirius you being jealous isn’t cute  
**okay it’s not acceptable in that context**  
you weren’t specific enough  
also  
I know we went over this and it’s getting annoying  
but I’ve never talked about my past and issues like this  
so  
you promise none of my stuff is too much?  
**the day I find something I don't like  
about you is the day the world ends and everything is crashing and burning, but at that point, everyone's dead so it doesn't matter, does it?**  
if the world is ending why are you finding time to point out my flaws and find something you don’t like  
**it took you ten minutes to think of that response**  
**I bet you were doing other stuff right after you read it  
:)**  
shut up I wasn’t blushing  
**no?  
because I call bull shit **  
I cried and took a screen shot of the text and it’s now my home screen but there was no blushing  
**mOONY**  
goodnight bye I have to go  
**it’s 4 pm**  
ya time isn’t real  
**wait let me ask something really important  
(I will ignore the making my text your home screen thing I know you love me)  
this question is irrelevant to that**  
what is it  
**you said something earlier that deeply offended me**  
which was?  
**when you said “the jokes on her because I am gay” I was hurt**  
me being gay offends you?  
**yes  
because all this time I’ve been flirting with you  
thinking you were ignoring it because you were a heterostraight  
but I was fooled**  
ah yes because if someone isn’t attracted to you the only logical explanation is that their sexuality doesn’t include your gender  
**exaCTLY  
even then mooncakes sometimes people still fall for my charm and then they’re very shook  
any way my story of causing sexuality crisis’ is for another day this is about your treachery**  
I’m very sorry should I have just texted you that first time like “sorry for texting the wrong number also I’m gay” and after every text be like “still gay” is that what you wanted  
**it would’ve been nice**  
it’s like you looked over all my love confessions for James like they meant nothing  
**how dare you speak his name at a time like this**  
Sirius you’re actually a child  
**says the one who goes to bed before 10 most nights**  
rude  
maybe this is why I never flirt back because you’re mean  
**mmmmm no**  
**wait does that mean every time I flirt with you, you blush and don’t want me to know so you say something spicy**  
I do not do th  
yEA HEdOES HE DOES - Alice  
alSO HEYY - alICEEEE  
**omfg hey Alice thank you for this important information**  
fuck you and fuck Alice good night  
**it’s 4 pm**  
onCE AGAIN TIME ISNT REAL  
**good night moon child  
I love you bunches **


	6. For me?

(6:29 am)  
**wait where are you all day**  
**like I got the life story but**  
**you don’t go to school**  
**but you have school work**  
wow no good morning or anything  
that’s what happens when you’re married for to long  
no magic anymore  
**for fucks sake Remus**  
**never do you get to call me the drama queen any more**  
**you are the drama queen**  
is it because I’m gay  
**yes absolutely 100%**  
**also goOD MORNING BABY CAKES I LOVE YOU**  
no that’s to much  
it feels forced  
**you make my life difficult**  
It’s what I do  
**but it’s very nice I’ve never laughed this much before breakfast**  
**wait speaking of before breakfast why are you awake this early**  
My cousin is gonna be gone all week for work so we went to get pancakes together before she left  
**awwwww that’s so cute**  
**wait are you just going to be left alone**  
yes I’m 16 and the only person I know is Alice  
I’m not really gonna get in any trouble by inviting hoodlums over  
**huh were not even allowed to leave classrooms without asking but you get to be alone for a week**  
**and she trusts you**  
yeah but she harasses me she says I’m “too good” she said it’s too much pressure  
she wants me to sneak a boy in or go to party to be normal  
**it must be tough for her to raise a kid like you**  
probably  
**so what are you gonna do all day?**  
work when I have shifts, do my school work, and Alice will probably stay over each night  
**spEAKING of school work**  
**why don’t you have to go to school**  
oh right I never explained that did I  
**nope**  
I started having really bad panic attacks once my fathers friend started coming into my room and  
ya know  
doing that stuff  
and plus I was isolated so much as a kid anyway being around kids always stressed me out and I was just crying and couldn’t breathe all the time so I got pulled from school and was home schooled  
however the woman who home schooled me from down the street had me evaluated on what grade I should be in and it was two grades ahead so she had to study to help me and so the last two years I’ve been doing online school and I get some college credit for it to  
**but what about after you got to go to therapy? don’t you wanna work stuff out so you can go to school**  
public school?? with kids?? no  
**i didn’t think about that question very well like I’m not shocked by your answer at all**  
it’s not my thing  
**yes I realize that now**  
I know I should work on being normal but I feel like this takes away from stress  
**no i didn’t mean it like that  
I meant more like a bad situation made you leave school so wouldn’t you want to go back? **  
nah I can listen to lectures and do study guide while I’m in the bath or on Alice’s roof  
**or while you’re not watching high school musical**  
fuck high school musical  
**you’re too adorable**  
**wait you sit on a roof is that too dangerous for you**  
that should not be something that phases you of all people who floods dorm rooms and kidnaps frogs  
**James was saVING THEM**  
Yes I know I’m just saying  
wait you asking if that was to dangerous for me was you making fun of how un-dangerous I am  
**yeah :)**  
**did I mention I love you**  
fight me  
**didn’t you say you and Alice lived close together**  
she’s my neighbor  
**ah that makes sense**  
**one time your were texting me saying you were at Alice’s and three minutes later you were in bed at your house**  
yeah it’s very convenient  
**speaking of Alice**  
**tell me the frank thing**  
I can’t in this moment  
I’m at Alice’s some how she’ll know  
also frank is coming over so I might leave  
**“She’ll know”**  
It’s true she’s magic  
**sounds like lily**  
did her and James ever go out with each other  
**they’re getting along**  
**so it’s progress**  
**she definitely feels a way about him I’m just not sure how**  
mmmm if I was her I’d date James  
**He says thanks**  
**I hate passing messages along between the two of you**  
**I hope you know he’s straight**  
I hope you know a boy can dream  
**here I am, a beautiful bisexual boy with a heart of gold and perfect hair and I get ignored**  
I feel like that’s never happened to you before  
**not really**  
**how could you tell?**  
wait was that a compliment  
no you’re a preppy jock  
**I am puNK ROCK MOONY**  
no  
**you’re upsetting me**  
**James is feeding me grapes because I can’t handle this**  
you do know that only helps my argument right  
**It is punk rock to accept help and support from your friends**  
In the form of being fed grapes?  
**yes**  
wow me and Alice have been doing the friend thing wrong  
If she asked me to feed her grapes I’d throw them at her  
**but what if she was in emotional turmoil like I am**  
me telling you you’re not punk rock puts you in emotional turmoil?  
**more than anything**  
punk rock people don’t have to rely on others opinions to be punk rock  
**you’re not just anyone though you are the burning in my soul**  
that could just be from the excessive grape eating  
**are you this evasive to every one who tries to flirt with you?**  
um I don’t know I don’t think people do that  
**so, yes?**  
shhh you’re going get me in trouble I just got to work  
**yoU YELL AT ME FOR TEXTING IN CLASS BUT YOU TEXT ME AT WORK??**  
it’s at a library/book store thing it’s not super busy and the owner loves me so she doesn’t care as long as I do my job  
you have class paying attention to important stuff  
**Mhmmmm you love me just admit it**  
Wait  
Speaking of class  
Aren’t you in one?  
**no I got another 11 minutes**  
are you at least ready to go to class  
**I’m in the class mooncakes**  
**James and I are early!!**  
why  
what did you do??  
**we can’t just be early for fun**  
no  
**fine we want to make sure we’re here when the ducks are released**  
I  
what the  
okay  
tell me how that goes I have a job to attend to  
**you know you’re like lily you just don’t ask**  
lily seems smart  
**she is**  
**wait!!!!**  
what?  
**James loves lily, she’s got red hair, she’s smart, is evasive to his flirting, and she’s funny and witty  
I love you, your hairs kinda red, you’re smart, YOURE EVASIVE TO MY FLIRTING, and you’re funny and witty **  
**me and James are such platonic soul mates that even the loves of our life are similar**  
**I pointed this out to him and he is very excited by this like very very happy however he scared the ducks and they escaped early**  
**oh no**

(8:30 am)  
how much detention  
**Four days :(**  
ducks??  
**it was the quickest thing we could get last minute**  
naturally  
**also why were you at work so early like what library is open before 7?**  
the one that has a coffee shop on the other side of it  
**Yikes**  
It’s okay I don’t have long shifts  
**you can buy coffee to stay awake  
also how responsible are you oh my god like ****there’s no adult in the house and you got up and got ready for work by yourself hours before you usually wake up**  
that’s the life of maybe 68% of most teenagers  
**that doesn’t make it any less impressive**  
you’re just used to being pampered at your preppy school where you became a preppy jock  
**I am punk rock**  
yes you are  
not  
**would shelob stand for this kind of bullying against her favorite father**  
probably  
**rEMUS**  
NO WAIT I DIDNT READ THE WHOLE TEXT  
NO  
**YES YES SHSJEIEIIE**  
**WeHAVE A CHILD TOGETHER**  
**yOU ADMITTED THE BONd between us**  
shelob is hardly a child she is an independent woman  
**Mhm who we co-own**  
well you’re not a very good father you’ve never even met shelob and I get no compensation  
**would you like a castle or something**  
I just want shelob to be supported  
**my drama queen-ness is so intense that apparently it can infect people through text**

 

(10:58 am)  
**our head master was talking about how important it is to have a plan for life after graduation so we honestly were thinking about it and so far all we have is that James and I are getting a flat after we graduate in a like a month and a half and I feel like it’s gonna be great**  
**we’re living like 8 minutes away from his parents so it can’t be that bad**  
oh no that’s not a good idea  
You and James with no supervision  
**yeah that’s what everyone else said**  
everyone else is smart  
you’ll get kicked out of the complex after a week  
they’ll get tired of telling you that geese aren’t allowed in there  
**well do all our geese related things at Marlene’s**  
right of course  
**I’m kinda worried about how my brothers gonna do though**  
**like he’s been alone with my parents for two years but I see him during the year**  
**now I won’t**  
well once he graduates you can go out of your way and see him all the time and I really do think watching you be a better person and recognizing your household wasn’t as morally stout as you were raised to believe, probably got him thinking too  
I think he can definitely grow up  
he’s probably scared or just a kid right now  
I’m sorry if that was like crossing a line and how I said it was probably all wrong but I didn’t think first and I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry things are the way they are but I hope you don’t have to worry about him forever  
and he’s as smart as you  
**me too**  
**thank you**  
**Moony thank you so much**  
**I feel like he knows they aren’t right**  
**but yeah he’s scared and a kid and he saw what happened to me**  
**he’s actually such a good kid**  
I imagine he is  
but if he knows better, even a little bit, it’s up to him to decide what to do about it  
**yeah**  
**you’re right**  
**God I love you**  
i know you do  
shouldn’t you be paying attention in class?  
**trying to get rid of me?**  
no, trying to make sure you get an education and  
have something to take your mind off things that I hate you’re stressing about  
**so what you’re saying is what can James and I do to make the class more interesting**  
no  
**yes?**  
pAY attention  
**:( I already miss you**  
tragic pay attention  
**fine guess I have to learn**

(4:38 pm)  
**I’m done learning**  
**McG is doing detention today she doesn’t care if I’m on my phone or sharing a chair with James as long as we’re not too loud**  
that’s good  
**yes it means I can talk to you more**  
and you can sit with James  
**it means I can sit ON James**  
**never mind he pushed me off**  
James is such an icon  
like that’s beautiful  
**James thinks you should stop chasing him and love me instead**  
James doesn’t know what he wants  
**he’s been in love with the same girl since he was 11**  
yes and I used to think ambulances were called “weep woop cars” when I was almost 2 years old but we grow,,,we mature,,, soon he will too  
**I’m sorry ??**  
**weep woop cars**  
listen it’s the noise they made plus they had four wheels and no one told me different but this isn’t the point  
**I take back everything I said about you being a genius**  
you never told me I was a genius  
**yeah but I tell everyone else you are**  
I wasn’t even 2  
**imKIDDing it’s adorable**  
**“weep woop cars”**  
**James is laughing**  
no,,, my reputation is ruined,, don’t tell him bad things about me  
**it’s cuTE**  
**I’m in love**  
is it punk rock to be in love  
**If it wasn’t, it is now**  
you can’t change the rules  
**sure i can**  
**that’s what makes me punk rock**  
you’re about as punk rock as I am straight, Sirius  
**sHould iLAUGH OR be offended**  
**oh my god**  
**ruDE**  
**But funny**  
I’m just giving you the facts  
**incorrect facts**

 

(7:29 pm)  
you have cute hands but they’d be cuter down my pants  
**whAT**  
**ummmmkslskswlwb**  
**I know this isn’t directed to me**  
**and IM UPSET about it**  
**please give me context**  
that was something someone just said to me while I was walking down the street reading leaving the doctor  
**did you know them**  
fortunately, no  
**are you telling me someone cat called you**  
**tell me where they were, I’ll fight them**  
umm no thank you  
if anyone’s defending my honor it will be Alice  
Cause I think that’s the guy who tried to sell her liquidized cocaine last week  
**wait what**  
**excuse me**  
Alice usually only comes to see me at work if it’s like a mid day shift so we can get food but once she came like late afternoon and she came into the library place and told me some guy outside of our usual place we get ice cream from tried to sell her liquid coke and told her she looked too stressed for her own good and that the coke would help  
and like she told me what he looked like  
and where I work is a street over from the doctor  
**did it match what the creepy guy looked like?**  
I’m pretty sure I didn’t really look up I just told him to choke and die  
**moony!**  
whAT  
**so in love. have I ever said that**  
a few times  
**wait does Alice not go to school either?**  
she has a class at a high school but the school doesn’t offer the courses she wants so she does three online so she’s home some days  
also she takes an art class at a college near by for double credit  
**damn neighboring genius’**  
**is she your age?**  
she’s 17, she’ll be 18 Thursday.  
**oh so she’s a year ahead of you, School wise**  
yeah  
and age wise  
**well that was obvious thank you**  
you’re welcome  
**hey that guy saying that stuff to you like I know it’s probably unnerving any way but you know does it make you really uncomfortable**  
I mean it was creepy but no I don’t give a fuck  
I probably would be hyperventilating right now if he would’ve grabbed me but he didn’t  
**good**  
**so you’re okay?**  
I’m okay  
It’s really sweet you thought to ask about that  
**I didn’t want to be blunt and make you uncomfortable but I also didn’t want to not know how you were doing**  
It’s alright, I’m okay  
You don’t need to worry about every little thing with me  
**that’s not what I’m doing**  
**I would’ve asked that even if you hadn’t told me what happened to you**  
**most of my friends are girls so they’ve all dealt with creepy ass dudes and I don’t know how it feels but I know it’s never something wanted**  
yeah I know  
but I didn’t really feel threatened or anything we were semi in public so I’m fine I know girls need to be more careful because guys are gross and girls can get hurt for saying something rude  
**Exactly**  
**Yeah that’s just I was asking because that stuff can happen to anyone, I know it’s mostly girls but that doesn’t mean you can’t be upset**  
I know  
and it would be okay if I wasn’t  
but I am  
Alice punched someone at a volunteer charity thing we did last summer because when she told him she didn’t want to give him her number he grabbed her arm and told her she was a bitch  
**lmfaoooo I love that she punched him at a charity thing like she gives no shits**  
**Marlene has had to do that once or twice**  
**She’s the female version of me like she’s gorgeous and her personality is pristine and also** **she’s very punk rock too but she never says it**  
because if you’re actually punk rock you don’t have to  
**when will you accept me**  
**I’m just trying to embrace who I am**  
the fact that you did sports and not theatre is wild  
**I did in 2nd year at primary but it went terribly. I was like seven and also my parents didn’t want me to because that’s** **not a very guy thing and I wasn’t allowed to embarrass them like that**  
You’re not allowed to call them your parents remember? James is your mom  
**Awwww moony okay yeah**  
**my life bringers didn’t support it but I probably wouldn’t have liked it much after primary school just because I am an organized sports guy**  
p r e p p y. j o c k  
**geek ass nerd**  
oh damn he can clap back I am shocked  
**I felt bad about it I mean you are my one true love**  
are you getting me mixed up with yourself?  
or James  
or McG  
**different kinds of love**  
**for myself it’s like admiration love**  
**for James it’s platonic soul mate**  
**for McG,,, it’s forbidden**  
**and you it’s in love**  
are you like this with all of your friends  
**yOU JUST ADMITTED we’re friends**  
**also do you really think I’m just being friendly with you???**  
I guess not, you’re also being dramatic  
**that’s**  
**not**  
**wait are you for real remus**  
yes?? we’ve been through this I think you’re a drama queen  
apparently I’m in trouble  
**with who?**  
**also putting a pin in this conversation because I’m not friendly flirting and you didn’t know but anyway**  
Alice because franks birthday is tomorrow and I told you Alice’s was Thursday so they’re just having a joint party Wednesday and we’re suppose to be baking but I’m not helping  
**does this mean you have to go :(**  
I don’t want to stir things  
I’m terrible at baking???  
**how can you be terrible at baking just read the directions**  
I try but I mess things up  
**thank god I can bake then that way it’ll be balanced when we’re married**  
**we complete each other**

 

(9:21 pm)  
**remus**  
sirius  
**I would just like to update you on my current situation**  
Is James involved?  
**he is here**  
good. continue  
**about to throw balloons filled with paint at our opposing houses mascot stature outside their building**  
why  
ducks and paint balloons all in one day  
**we’re wild Remus**  
don’t get it on your skin too much or breath it in it’s not good for you  
**are you sure you’re 16 and not 30?  
cause you sound like a dull adult **  
I’m sorry I have concerns about stupid people doing stupid things with their health  
**it’s okay I forgive you**  
**okay the groundskeeper is in bed, according to James**  
**what color should we throw first**  
what colors do you have?  
**Red and gold**  
why those  
**it’s our house colors**  
wow they’re never going to be able to deduct it was you two  
**we’re not that smart or secretive I get it**  
throw red first  
**red it is**

(10:08 pm)  
**paint gets every where**  
Did you get caught  
**Not yet we’ll probably get detentions in the morning**  
what if your detention is cleaning the paint off the statue  
**goD why did you say that now it’s probably gonna happen**  
**I didn’t even think of that**  
that doesn’t surprise me one bit  
**the smart sensible one and the trouble maker**  
**we’re destined to be together mooncakes**  
you’re destined to spend the rest of your final year in detention  
**that’s the idea**  
**also I know you don’t really like things getting intense and this is kind of random but earlier when we were talking about that guy saying that stuff to you in the street, you mentioned you were walking home from the doctor**  
yes  
**I’m asking if you’re okay**  
**I’ve been thinking about it sense then**  
oh yeah I’m fine it wasn’t even related to any of my issues kind of it was a check up to make sure my vitals were stable  
which they were  
**okay yeah so you’re good**  
I’m good  
**good**  
thank you for being concerned  
**awwww yeah of course**  
I should’ve been clearer I feel bad it made you worry for a little while  
**don’t it’s okay, besides it’s your business I didn’t want to push you into talking and then backing off**  
fair point  
did you get paint off of you  
**yeah I was in the shower before I texted you**  
**James and I got way more paint on us then we meant to because we both saved one of the paint balloons and didn’t tell the other just so we could throw one at each other**  
of course you did  
I feel like there could’ve been easier ways than paint balloons like why not just pour paint  
**this way was so much more fun**  
**that’s all that matters**  
**and we can do it from a distance**  
but it takes longer  
**but it’s more fun**  
I hate your planning process  
**seeing as the process is “fun, easy, not mean” and that’s it, no actual planning , I figured you would**  
I expected more from you and James  
**did you really**  
no  
the fact that you even thought about the distance things surprises me  
**should I be offended**  
no, because you surpassed my expectations  
**is that your way of saying yes because you had low expectations**  
essentially  
**but you still love me**

 

(11:28 pm)  
gnight  
**hey, are you good?**  
**I mean you kept dropping out of conversations today I’m just worried**  
**I didn’t say anything to make you uncomfortable, did I?**  
no of course not  
my hands are shaking really bad today  
I don’t know if I’m tired or stressed or if it’s just a side effect of something but it’s not you  
my hands just hurt after a while when I was texting a lot today  
they still do I just didn’t want to type to much  
**do you want me to call you to tell you good night**  
**so you don’t have to text**  
you don’t have to If you don’t want to 

*incoming call from ‘my dog star’*  
call accepted 

“hey”  
**“hey moonshine”**  
“mmm you know that ones not very romantic”  
**“sure it is. our love is amazing it should be illegal, like moonshine”**  
“I’m going to hang up and block you”  
**“you don’t mean that”**  
“no I guess not. I know you’re not about to go to bed. so what are you doing?”  
**“oh I snuck out of detention”**  
“excuse me?!”  
**“chill out no, I’m kidding. I’m totally kidding.”**  
“Jesus. Are you?”  
**“they don’t have detention after 8:30 usually. and usually staying the whole four hours isn’t even that common, a teacher always lets us go early”**  
“I feel like in you being so certain of that is you saying you’re in detention too much”  
**“Yeah. Probably, but i was just sitting in the common room with a few people like usual, I stepped out into the hall”**  
“for me?”  
**“yeah. Remus, for you.”**  
“you didn’t have to.”  
**“I know, I wanted to. you sound exhausted.”**  
“mhm. I am.”  
**“I can hear your cat meowing”**  
“she wants me to pay attention to her but I’m too tired to do two things at once”  
**“awww and you chose me first?”**  
“mmm stop”  
**“I can hear you blushing”**  
“no you can’t”  
**“I can”**  
“once again, hanging up and blocking you is the go to option right now”  
**“I’m sure you’d do that to me moony.”**  
“don’t push it sirius”  
**“I never took you for the authoritative type”**  
“I’m not”  
**“really? would it interest you if I was?”**  
“did this get sexual and I just didn’t notice?”  
**“yeah absolutely but it’s okay. You usually don’t”**  
“You’re so mean”  
**“Wow, you’re exhausted. You sound like you’re asleep, you didn’t have to talk to me tonight.”**  
“I know.”  
**“but you wanted to.”**  
“good night.”  
**“awwwww remus you do love me”**  
“I love sleep.”  
**“okay, I’ll let you go to sleep.”**  
“am I keeping you from your friends?”  
**“no. they’re fine, but I don’t wanna keep you up.”**  
“alright. tell me something nice about your day first?”  
**“that’s such a cute thing to ask, uh I don’t know I had an okay day. lily brought chocolate covered strawberries from when here and Marlene went out for dinner so I had those earlier.”**  
“Mmmm those are so good”  
**“yeah. Remus, darling you sound like you’re already passed out.”**  
“I am. very much so.”  
**“okay quick question. What’s the weirdest combination of food you like?”**  
“peanut butter and pickles.”  
**“excuse me?”**  
“it’s good. I’m falling asleep. you tell me yours.”  
**“I’m so upset about yours but uh I was going to say pickle juice on popcorn”**  
“that’s good though. not weird.”  
**“yeah, yours is weird”**  
“it’s not weird”  
**“okay, okay I’m going to let you sleep, you’re making me tired, you’ve yawned like twenty seven times.”**  
“but your voice makes me feel better”  
**“awww remus you are tired aren’t you, well I’ll talk to you until you fall asleep if you want.”**  
“no, no, it’s fine I’m sorry.”  
**“you don’t need to apologize”**  
“why do you sound like you’re smiling?”  
**“I am, you’re adorable”**  
“good night sirius”  
**“good night remus, you can call me if you need to if you wake up”**  
“mmm okay.”  
**“okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.**  
**Remus?**  
**okay you’re asleep.”**

*call ended*


	7. The Frank Thing

(8:45 am)  
good morning I’m suing who ever thought it would be a good idea to start the work day before 2 pm  
**mooncakes that would be called the afternoon shift**  
no because now people are only allowed to be functioning from 2pm to 8pm that’s it  
**when does this law go into motion?**  
now  
**just drink coffee**  
I don’t like it  
I’m not suppose to have caffeine  
**if you exercise it’ll wake you up**  
I didn’t know you were a comedian  
**oh my god remus  
you know you only work like four days a week**  
yes I’m fully aware  
but it’s also boring right now  
**so you came to me for entertainment**  
yeah essentially  
and that “exercise” thing was hilarious you’re doing good so far  
**okay hold on let me think of entertaining stuff**  
**if you had to be in any Disney movie as the main character what would it be**  
sleeping beauty so I could sleep for years  
**would I be the one that could wake you up**  
if you woke me up I’d fight you  
**but would it be me that could  
ya know true love and stuff **  
next question  
**YES IT WOULD  
YOU KNOW IT **  
there are so many problems with that movie and this situation I’m not even going to address them  
where did you even come up with that question  
**Kids were talking about Lilo and stitch**  
what disney movie would you be in  
**high school musical**  
fuck you  
You’re not funny  
**you laughed and you know it**  
I have a job I have to be attentive for now  
**youDID LAUGH AW**  
okay have a nice day at school  
**have fun at work moonykins**

 

(11:34 am)  
**are you on a break yet**  
no I work until one but I can talk for a minute  
**that was such an adult sentence  
why do you seem like you’re grown but you’re actually a child **  
I’m sixteen  
**yes and James and I will be 18 within the next three months**  
but you act 7  
**you act 40**  
I have a sort of job and I don’t love breaking rules that doesn’t make me 40  
****80**  
you’re the worst  
**I get that a lot**  
from who?  
**you**  
okay then that’s fine  
**if it was someone else would you have gutter stomped them?**  
**wouLD YOU DEFEND MY HONOR**  
I would’ve let turtles feast on their eyes  
**aggressive**  
**would that harm the turtles?**  
I’ll make sure they’re murderous turtles  
**is that a thing?**  
once I took sleeping medicine that didn’t help it just gave me weird dreams and I had a dream that if animals bit people it would paralyze them and then the animal would just continue eating them  
like all animals  
**that’s fucked up  
are you okay **  
no probably not  
**how would a pelican eat a person**  
I don’t know I don’t remember seeing a pelican in the dream but I imagine it wouldn’t feel nice  
**if I had to be eaten by any animal it would be a shark so it would be quick**  
mine would be a dragon because it’d be fun  
**dragons aren’t real  
bearded dragons, yes  
fire breath dragons, no **  
I’m still discussing my dream world and dragons are alive there  
**right excuse me**  
and turtles are so slow that it would hurt because you’d be paralyzed, hence the turtle eating those peoples eyes  
**so you want people who are mean to me to suffer?? Romantic  
awwww mooncakes you care**  
no it’s just only I am allowed to gently bully you  
**that’s less romantic**  
**but I’ll take it**  
Alice said friends gently bully each other but don’t let other people do it  
**but I don’t wanna be your friend**  
well uh  
then I guess other people can bully you too?  
**no I mean like I don’t wanna just be your friend like Alice is**  
well I can see Alice  
so there’s one difference  
**I am trying to flirt with you**  
oh right you’re being dramatic and teasing me again I thought we were being intense with our dragon talk  
**I’m not being dramatic**  
**wait you actually don’t get it**  
I do now?? you’re acting like you  
oh speaking of Disney movies what kid of stuff did you like when you were younger  
**dinosaurs**  
dinosaurs?  
**yes but like I wasn’t allowed to be like a kid kid I kind of was raised automatically like I had to have manners and I played piano and learned French but when I was around eleven and came here and met James I really liked sports and reality tv**  
like trashy reality tv  
**yes**  
is that why you’re dramatic?  
**that’s what James says**  
I saw half an episode of jersey shore and it stressed me out so much I had to turn it off  
**that’s what made it fun**  
no that makes it terrible  
but to each their own  
**is that you shading me for liking trashy tv?**  
yes 100%  
**I’m wounded  
there’s a hole in my heart that this school lunch can’t even fill **  
get James to feed you grapes I have to finish my shift  
**you’ve got like 20 minutes just leave early**  
you want the world to crash and burn don’t you?  
**goody two shoes**  
preppy jock  
**I hope the last 20 minutes like 40 people come in and you have to stay later**

 

(1:38 pm)  
I hate you  
**what did I do??? I’m an angel who does no wrong!**  
because like 40 people came in before my shift ended and I had to stay later  
**Lakskwkwkwkwks noooo I’m so sorry**  
you ruined everything  
**I didn’t do it I just called it**  
you wished for it  
I’m going to fight you  
**through the phone?**  
yes  
**I’m terrified :)**  
you should be  
**you and your hipster glasses don’t scare me  
wait no I just realized how smart and evil genius you are I take it back I’m afraid **  
that’s how all good friendships work  
**is Alice afraid of you**  
no I’m scared of her  
**cute**  
**James and I are afraid of lily but in a good way  
she’s wonderful  
her and James are studying later I’ll tell you if they make out **  
lily is taking my man  
**I’m right here moony! I am your man**  
tell James I hope lily is nice to him and they have fun  
bUT if it doesn’t work out,,,, ya know he can call me  
**he says thanks and he’ll call you if he needs to  
have I mentioned I hate being your communicator? **  
James is so great  
I love boys  
**I am boy!!!!**  
**I am just as much boy as James**  
**we are the same height and our dicks are the same length**  
did you just say that to me  
**just in case you were wondering**  
I was not!  
**but do you love me now**  
you’re terrible  
**we’re destined to be married remus, you and I, we should be comfortable discussing these things**  
James’ dick? okay  
**nO**  
damn it  
**you made James laugh but I am in distress**  
I’m sorry you’ll feel better if you pay attention in class  
**are you leaving?**  
I gotta  
**oh wait you’re cousin is coming home today right**  
yes she’s taking me and Alice out  
**have fun and eat some chocolate**  
I will  
pay attention in class  
**I won’t**

4:58 pm  
**we took so many tests today and the lowest grade I got was a 98**  
**so I don’t need to pay attention I can continue to text you in class in the future**  
did you cheat  
**a little**  
**but only in one class!**  
yeah okay fine  
good job  
**awwww thanks moonbeam**  
these nicknames are killing me  
**you always nickname the person you’re dating. It’s tradition**  
we’re not dating  
**we will be soon**  
why are you like this  
**don’t deny our love buttercup**  
you don’t even know my full name  
you just know like shit that happened to me and I don’t like waking up early  
**I know way more than that**  
**I’m getting personality**  
**and thoughts**  
**and you’re wit**  
**and constant self doubt that I would like to fight**  
**you helped me get a racist pervert teacher fired because you’re an evil genius**  
**you can’t tell me we don’t know each other extremely well**  
yeah you’re right  
I guess  
**you guess?  
Sirius Orion Black **  
**that’s my name**  
**my middle name is my fathers name and it used to bother me but it doesn’t any more  
and my worst quality is that I have no bad qualities **  
but If that’s your worst quality it makes it a bad quality which means you do have a bad quality  
**it’s suppose to be charming and funny**  
mmmm it could use some work  
your name is quite nice though  
**I bet yours is better**  
it’s boring  
**Remus??? that’s the opposite of boring**  
Remus John Lupin  
**I’m so sorry remus and Lupin??? were your parents looking for a theme??**  
let me live I didn’t name my self  
**no I mean it’s cute like I really think it’s cute**  
shush no  
**yes!**  
**worst quality? I know you don’t have any but we’re getting to know each other more**  
everything  
**no!**  
**incorrect**  
fine um I don’t know give me a second  
**maybe youre to hard on yourself?**  
**that’s one**  
okay  
Alice always says that  
**even James says that**  
**it’s the only not good thing about you**  
no I mean in all honesty you saw I get distant when I’m really having a bad day and sometimes I know better but I do it any way so I do shitty things all the time  
**Remus no hunny no one can be in a good mood all the time especially when they’re having a bad day**  
**and it’s not like you were being mean**  
**I don’t know anyone who’s gone through something half as bad as you and is still continuing to be effected by it but continued to be such a nice person**  
you  
**!!! awwww muffin I mean yeah I didn’t have the best upbringing but the worst that came out of it is bad dreams and somethings get to me more than they should like when I punched that kid but it’s definitely something that if I thought about I could handle better**  
I like hearing that you’re at least moderately okay  
**I’m very okay**  
good good can we move on from this topic I’d like today to stay a nice day  
**okay yess umm  
what kinda chocolate do you like **  
all of it  
**all of it? chocolate cakes, chocolate candy, chocolate truffles?**  
yeah all of it  
**but your favorite?**  
chocolate ice cream or Maltesers  
wow I’m so hungry now  
**eat something babe**  
no I have a headache I’ll probably throw up  
sorry that probably more than you wanted to know  
**Of course not I think you’re adorable  
I hate the headache part, drink some water? get an ice pack? you can tell me about you throwing up I still think your cute **  
good to know  
why so interested in the chocolate  
**when James and I move in together that’s what we’ll stock up on so I can lure you there**  
you could’ve said that in a less creepy way  
**\\_(ツ)_/¯**  
no  
**:)**  
that one is moderately acceptable  
**I’m glad it has your approval Moon child**  
star nuisance  
**I am not a nuisance I am the most calming presence**  
???? I’m so sorry are we still talking about you  
**ouch**  
I am hurt my dear  
**my love and admiration is all devoted to you**  
So is shelobs  
**are you telling me I have to fight your cat to be #1 in your heart**  
no?? that’s not what I said at all  
**oh wait  
OUR cat**  
Jesus  
okay I’m taking a nap maybe my headache will stop aching  
**I hope it does**  
**tell our cat I love her and I hope you sleep well Remus John Lupin**

 

7:22  
good morning  
**it’s 7 pm**  
well I just woke up so good morning  
**gOOD MORNING I love you**  
**did the headache go away**  
mostly  
**!! good**  
what are you doing  
**laying in the common room with my feet on James**  
how did the thing with lily go  
**he will not need to be calling you  
they’re going out this weekend **  
awwww yay go James  
**he says thanks  
and he’s sorry it didn’t work out with you **  
it’s okay I’ll find another boy named James  
**or Sirius**  
no Remus black doesn’t sound good  
**and Remus Potter does?**  
yes  
**when will this slander end**  
apparently now because my mans is taken by lily  
**you could probably fight her she’s only 157 cm**  
that’s exactly the same height as me  
**wHAT  
youreA BABY **  
no I’m not  
**YOURE A SMALL CHILD**  
I’m 16  
**hAVE WE DISCUSSED THIS BEFORE**  
I don’t think so?  
**REMUS WHY are you so short**  
I don’t know?  
how tall are you  
**I’m 183 cm**  
excuse me  
**yeah the men in my family grow really early and it’s the same with James, we probably have one to four more inches left of growing**  
jesus do you worry about bumping your head on door ways  
**not really**  
maybe you should worry about because obviously you hit your head to much  
that explains it  
**okay short stack**  
my cousin calls me that so it’s not new  
**can you even reach the top cabinets**  
yes  
if I climb the counter  
**wow**  
**but you’ve probably got a few inches left to grow**  
no I’ve been this height since I was like in fifth year I grew really quickly and then stopped  
like my growth plates have been in place for like six years  
**bdhsosowow aWww I love dating people shorter than me  
wow you and lily are the same person **  
yeah you pointed that out  
**and now we can add “both short as fuck” to the list  
Is Alice taller than you **  
yes she’s 168 cm  
**you’re so adorable I’m cryinggggg**  
that six foot thing really adds to the stereotypical posh jock thing  
**why is this always where you go with it**  
it’s easy  
**at least you said posh and not preppy  
wait is posh closer to punk rock or farther than preppy **  
farther  
youre losing you’re credibility  
**I never win with you**

 

8:50  
is your hand writing terrible?  
**no it’s really good, why?**  
oh because I just took a buzzfeed quiz where I picked my favorite food and it told me a bad quality about my future significant other  
and it said bad hand writing  
so I guess it’s not you  
**nooooo!!! it is me, i promise**  
but buzzfeed said no  
**fuck buzzfeed**  
how dare you  
**how dare you take life advice from an entertainment company**  
where else would I get it from?  
a magic 8 ball?  
**yes Remus make all of your major life choices based on a magic 8 ball**  
okay  
it says “yes” to me going to shower so bye  
**fuck the magic 8 ball  
have a nice shower Re, don’t drown **

9:15  
I didn’t drown  
I don’t think that happens in the shower  
**it could**  
**it happens to people who listen to magic 8 balls and buzzfeed quizzes**  
I wouldn’t actually do anything major based on a magic 8 ball reply unless my cat approves it  
**you’re the worst  
why do I feel like we switched roles today  
you’re the one making choices with no thought or because objects tell you too and I’m the one trying to be rational **  
you’re trying to be rational? all you said was “fuck the magic 8 ball”  
**I’d be more rational if you were being for real**  
oh god of course I’m not  
Alice makes fun of me because I make pro/con lists for choices like out on paper  
**do you really**  
yeah? who wouldn’t  
it weighs out options  
**you’re the cutEST THIng**  
you say that about everything I do  
**because everything you do is cute**  
why wouldn’t you make a pro/con list or organizes your life  
**pro/con list in flirting with me**  
con : flirting, possible awkwardness, flirting with you, I’m admitting a loss of James  
pro : ??  
**I didn’t know I could be hurt by a pro/con list made by a geek**  
life is full of surprises  
I’m just keeping you on your toes  
**if I was on my toes I’d be so much taller than you I wouldn’t be able to see you**  
that was low  
**not as low as you**  
you know I don’t mind being short right?  
**I know, I’m teasing  
I don’t mind you being short either **  
oh thank god because I was totally worried about how my height effects you  
**you’re being sarcastic**  
of course  
**well I just meant I didn’t mind because I didn’t want you to think I was actually being a dick**  
no I didn’t think that  
you usually never are  
**“usually”**  
you never are  
**you’re so sweet I love you too**  
good night sirius  
**nice diversion**  
**how about tonight instead of a question**  
**tell me a secret**  
you wanna know about the frank thing  
**yES even James wants to knOW ABOUt the frank thing**  
fine okay get ready for a long story  
**yay I love remus stories**  
so frank and I knew each other before he met Alice but she doesn’t know this and I hate lying to my best friend but it’s for a good cause okay  
**okay I believe you**  
so anyway I worked at the library and he worked across the street at this cafe and we started shifts at the same time at least three times a week and we’d pass each other on the street and he always winked at me and said “have fun shelving books, library boy”  
**oh my god like flirty**  
I didn’t think so  
but I’m still v e r y gay so I was here for it  
**oh no this story is going in a bad direction**  
mhmmm so  
any way so there was this girl I worked with and she’s really nice right like she went out with me and Alice a few times and she still does occasionally but  
anyway once she took me to that cafe across the street to go over some papers for work right  
**right naturally cause you can’t do that at work**  
no chocolate cake makes everything nicer so we split chocolate cake slices to cope  
**I agree continue**  
so frank was there and me and this girl have been working together occasionally for three whole years at this point so we’re very familiar with each other and her hand was on the back of my chair just like normal friends talking and when frank came up to talk to us he really loudly said “so you lied when you said you were gay?”  
**fuck**  
**oh my god**  
**wait did you even mention that to him**  
uh yeah he asked like a week before very casually and he said he didn’t know if he was and I said that’s cool and then I went to work  
**right**  
and I mean he made a big deal of it and that instant attention just make me sick I got dizzy it was terrible and one of the other people who worked there made him leave for the day and apologized but still I just would have preferred to be murdered because even though everyone else moved on it was still awkward like thinking about it now is just hell  
**fuck frank**  
**I swear to god**  
and like the next day he apologized to me and kissed me in the alley way  
**wait**  
**excuse me**  
yeah he said he knew it wasn’t his place to say anything or be a dick like that in the cafe  
**hell yeah it wasn’t**  
but he kissed me for a while and I really wasn’t a big fan of his anymore but I didn’t want to be rude  
**Remus nooo you gotta learn to fuck people up if they deserve it**  
it gets worse  
**ummmksksk continue oh dear**  
and then he doesn’t talk to me for a few days and makes a point of ignoring me and rolling his eyes if I accidentally look at him or whatever  
and at this point I hate all boys  
**no :(**  
and after a while nothing really happens again until someone who works in the building next door to mine asked me one day if I was the boy obsessed with frank and kissed him for no reason  
**no way**  
**he did not**  
he did  
he told all his friends that I was the one who was always bothering him and stuff, and I didn’t care too much because I never saw them but the girl who worked with me found out and she’s a very assertive person, even more so than Alice and went across the street and in front of franks friends she embarrassed him for being an “insecure neurotic child” and said what really happened  
**yes!!!! go girl!! wow all the girls we know are amazing I love them**  
yeah most girls are wonderful I know  
and the next day frank apologized to me and said he felt bad for being a dick but he was struggling with his sexuality and didn’t know how to handle it but it was also my fault cause I made it easy  
**excuse him**  
yeah he said he liked girls mostly but he’s found a few boys cute and he’s never acted like that before but he had kind of a freak out  
and I believe he’s never done that before because he doesn’t talk about it and he’s kinda iffy with me now but that’s just because my friend embarrassed him so much where he worked and she should’ve done it in a less professional place but they were on break so I don’t care  
but he’s nice to Alice and loves her and they’re great for each other like he’d never be a dick to her and I respect that  
but my biggest thing is he tried to be all big and bad when that girl walked into his work and he said some kinda douche-y things to her but he apologized to her in front of his friends later on **but still**  
**he ain’t shit**  
yeah  
Alice would be upset and if ever did anything sketchy with her I’d tell her what happened but he’s only ever done that with me  
and he’s more comfortable with it now  
so I don’t see him acting like that with her I do think it was him just being a dick cause he was uneasy about his sexuality and that doesn’t make it okay but I don’t think he’s shit in general mostly  
**“mostly”**  
I’m bias  
**I don’t like frank**  
he’s nice to Alice  
I just say “fuck frank” a lot because the whole thing at the cafe was single handedly one of the most embarrassing things ever and then being a dick to that girl actually made me want to remove his elbows  
**your threats are so cute**  
??  
**once you said “ill gutter stomp your family” and now “remove his elbows” you’re adorable**  
**but yes fuck frank**  
it actually isn’t that long of a story I just didn’t really know how to tell it and just said to much  
**Remus you could never say to much to me**  
**and I feel like going “uh frank had issues with his sexuality and took it out by being a wanker to me” doesn’t really capture the whole thing**  
you know that’s basically what I was going to say at first  
**I figured**  
**I like the story better**  
**i mean I don’t like the story because fuck frank but I like that you told me more**  
right  
yeah  
I’m sleeping now that was a lot  
**yeah you said goodnight and then I kept you up**  
I offered to tell the story  
**oh right so it’s your fault**  
you’re too much stress for me this late  
good night you hooligan  
**goodnight!!!!! have nice dreams of me**  
where you get eaten by a pelican  
**no!!!**


	8. Berlin Wall

(2:34 am)  
**rEMUS**  
**REMUS**  
**Moony cakes**  
**Remus John Lupin**  
**Hey**  
**I love you**  
What the fuck  
**HEYYYHHHY**  
are you drunk  
**yEa but only aLot**  
**and we smOked**  
The magic 8 ball says go to sleep  
**I thought it was only no or no**  
**yes or no**  
it says “yes” you should go to sleep  
**fuckkkm the magic 8 ball**  
why are you drunk  
**there was a lot of people drinking in the common room**  
**It was a party thing**  
I am not going to condone your underage drinking  
or drug use  
**Oh moony**  
**you’re so nice**  
**So nice**  
yeah I know I haven’t blocked you yet despite you disturbing my sleep  
**oh noooo!**  
**didn’t**  
**even lOok at the**  
**time unit**  
**I’m valet**  
valet?  
*****Very sorry**  
right it’s okay  
just drink a lot of water and take one ibuprofen before you go to bed  
**just one ?**  
just one  
I don’t trust drunk you counting out medicine but just one  
**prOMISE ! how bout for Jamie**  
James should take one too  
**One two?**  
**1 2**  
nO  
you both take one  
only one  
**right yes**  
and drink water  
**water counts**  
**if the water is in alcoHol**  
no  
**pleas**  
no more  
go to bed  
**waIT**  
what  
**do you lovE me**  
sure  
**awww**  
**Kdkdkskwjan**  
**your so adorable I wannFight your sadness**  
i want to fight your sadness too sirius  
however  
the only sad I am now is that I’m not asleep  
**but if yoURE asleep you can’t talk to me**  
**I misss you**  
misss?  
**thaTs the typo you questions?**  
right sorry you won’t miss me if you’re asleep too  
**omg wow**  
**you’re smart I didn’t think of that**  
that doesn’t shock me  
**are yu being mean**  
no, it’s loving sarcasm  
**< 3 ilove you**  
**imIN bed**  
**it’s James bed though tho**  
did you drink water  
**Yes! all of it**  
**Proud of me?**  
all the water?  
**Yes**  
but,,, how will the rest of the world drink water now  
**oh no**  
**oh no I don’t know**  
**Remus**  
**I didn’t thinkOf that. I’m so sorry**  
relax, there is more water for the world, they’ll get it from the ocean  
**ok goob**  
you’re ridiculous  
get some sleep  
**Okie**

 

10:30 am  
**Re I fucked up**  
**I forgot about practice today**  
**and I’m hung over**  
**you have no idea how drunk I was last night**  
ummm well you texted me so yes I do  
**did I**  
**oh no**  
**“how will the rest of the world drink water” Remus you were bullying drunk me**  
you woke me up at 2 am I don’t care  
**I’m sorry I wanted you to know how much I loved you**  
**but I’m so sorry**  
as long as that doesn’t happen often I don’t mind  
**it doesn’t**  
**it won’t**  
how bad is your hang over  
**I’ve thrown up twice**  
damn  
how is James  
**he’s alright, he drank more water than me and didn’t get as trashed**  
a smart man  
you know you actually shouldn’t drink until the brain fully develops and that’s usually 22  
or do drugs  
**thanks mom**  
teenagers are stupid  
**that’s the common consensus**  
why do you have practice on a Saturday  
**a game on Monday**  
gross  
**no not gross**  
**picture me in the football outfits**  
now I feel hungover too  
**moony I’m dying you’re making it worse**  
**my head and my heart are hungover now**  
I’m deeply sorry I apologize  
**are you being sarcastic**  
no  
I just didn’t know what you wanted me to say to that  
like I know it’s probably annoying that I always say something like that back but like  
the only friend I have is Alice and we jokingly flirt with each other but I don’t  
I don’t know how you and your friends are with each other  
I didn’t want to say something wrong  
or stupid  
**remusssssss no baby you couldn’t ever say anything wrong or stupid**  
**and I mean my friends and I jokingly flirt to**  
**but I’m genuinely flirting with you**  
no you’re not  
**yes I am**  
you’re hilarious  
**oh my god**  
**we’re gonna fight when I get done with practice**  
don’t throw up on the field 

 

2:30  
**we got done with practice at like 11:40 but then James and I took a nap we died  
like to death **  
how did you not remember you had practice today?  
**James did but he can decide when we finish**  
**James told me when I was probably talking to you so I wasn’t listening**  
also I didn’t look on the schedule  
how have you gotten through life in one piece  
**there’s still time remus**  
to be split into pieces??  
**yes**  
no  
**speaking of split into pieces,,,, let’s talk about how my heart is split up because you don’t believe I am genuinely flirting with you  
how about no **  
there’s no way you are  
**what makes you say that?**  
I don’t know  
we don’t really know each other  
**we do so  
we went through this **  
okay well then you know me too well  
**that’s exactly why I’m genuinely interested in you mooncakes**  
**you don’t think I could like you if I knew you better**  
that’s not what I’m saying I  
I mean I don’t know  
you weren’t on the life plan sirius  
I don’t know what to think  
**“the life plan” God you’re the best thing  
I hope it was written down**  
it is!  
**I’m sorry I put a wrench in it but I promise if there are any big aspirations or important life plans Ill support them**  
don’t apologize  
I think it’s a good wrench  
I didn’t mean to make it seem like you weren’t  
**I’m a good wrench!!! I can’t wait to tell all my friends**  
I think they know  
**awwwwwww mooooony**  
I mean  
like they know you  
no one plans for Sirius Black  
**I want that on my tomb stone**  
or on a T-shirt  
**My teachers would buy them**  
I’m 100% certain they would  
**especially McG**  
she should get paid more  
**I thought it was be nice to Sirius hour that was slander**  
to be fair I’m not sarcastic and rude to people I don’t like I just pretend to be nice  
**you are very very nice**  
**and you’re not rude you’re just witty**  
that’s a nice way of putting it  
**Remus I woke you up from your beloved sleep and was drunk off my ass and you made sure I drank water and took 1 ibuprofen  
even though 3 would’ve been fine**  
I feel like counting out 3 would’ve been too  
much for drunk you  
**that’s accurate but I would’ve figured it out eventually**  
possibly  
**actually you’re right I probably wouldn’t have**  
**god I’ve had such a long day and it’s only 2 pm**  
me too  
I haven’t left my bed  
**Remus**  
what?  
I took 2 quizzes for class and did an assignment  
So I did something technically  
**Technically**  
Alice called me to come over but I saw franks snapchat and he was over there so I didn’t answer  
he’s too much today  
**he’s too much for me everyday**  
you don’t know him  
you just know a bad thing he did  
**to my moony**  
he’s good to Alice so he’s tolerable  
**no**  
Sirius  
**fine but I’ll trip him one day**  
**I swear**  
**The other day when you told me about the frank thing, james said he would fill franks house up with sheep**  
sheep?  
**yes I feel like that would be effective**  
in accomplishing what?  
**Inconveniencing him**  
**a house full of live sheep would definitely do that**  
yes but where are you two getting these sheep?  
**it’s not that hard to find a field of sheep**  
you’re going to steal the sheep? from their home?  
**what would rather us do? grow our own from scratch**  
“from scratch” You can’t just make sheep  
**I bet James and I can**  
speaking of, frank just walked into my house to make me come over to Alice’s so I’ll text you in a minute  
**he just walked in??? to my moonys house??? even though you don’t wanna go??  
mmmmmm I don’t think sheep are enough  
it’s gonna be murder sheep we release upon him **

2:55  
yes he just walked into my house because my cousin isn’t here which means no one will answer the door so him and Alice have to  
**Why don’t you answer the door**  
cause I don’t want people in my house  
unless it’s the guy who delivers Chinese food  
**obviously**  
**I feel like I didn’t even need to ask that question I figured the answer before I pressed send**  
I’m not really that complicated  
**You are a simple boy who only requires books and chocolate and Chinese food and me**  
that’s almost all correct  
**the only wrong part is the Chinese**  
**You could live without it if you had to  
right **  
**that’s what you mean**  
yes that’s what I mean  
**good to know**  
I know this is weird but what are some of your deal breakers  
like in a relationship  
**moony are you asking me what I want in a relationship**  
no! just frank and Alice were joking that they can’t date because frank hates ice cream and like I was thinking honestly what would I not want from someone  
like am I secretly shallow  
so I wanna know normal deal breakers  
I’m just curious  
**I don’t think you’re secretly shallow  
and my deal breaker is if a person is not remus Lupin **  
ha ha funny I’m being serious  
**no I am**  
**I’m always sirius**  
fUCK off  
**You know you love me**  
**Also um I couldn’t date someone who wasn’t a feminist like didn’t believe in equal rights and didn’t care about people’s issues**  
**other then that as long as someone wasn’t a terrible person it’s fair game**  
**like we would have to get along and fit**  
**you know what I mean**  
yeah  
**but like I mean I’d give anyone a chance if we seem to get along and hit it off**  
**they have to like James**  
**my dream person to date would be myself but I can’t**  
**:(**  
wow I’m sorry that’s a real tragedy  
**and I don’t want to say I couldn’t date someone unattractive but liking the way someone looks helps a relationship, they don’t have to be what everyone else thinks is gorgeous but being physically attracted to someone is a part of relationships**  
yeah I know  
just because someone is physically someones type doesn’t mean they’re automatically be a good match  
**like looks is a part of it but it’s not all of it  
right**  
yeah that’s what I was attempting to convey  
**but with you I know you’re cute**  
no you don’t  
**mmm I’m pretty sure 100% I do**  
moving on  
to real problems  
**what real problems do you have remus in this moment**  
I’m really hungry cause I haven’t slept eaten and I’m laying on Alice’s couch but her dogs are half on me asleep and I don’t want have I wake them  
**get food**  
but the dogs are asleep and if I get up and they stretch out then they’ll take my spot and I’ll have to sit with frank or on the floor  
**get food**  
**fuck Frank**  
but the sleeping dogs  
**they’ll fall back asleep I promise**  
fine  
I’m making cereal  
**yay!**  
you’re overly enthusiastic about this  
you know I’m fine right  
**yes I know but food is good for you**  
I’m pretty sure a bowl of essentially sugar isn’t good for you  
**shhhhh yes it is**  
tell James that  
**no we don’t need to bring the health freak into this**  
I want to bring him into everything  
**he has a Lily**  
oh yeah gosh darn it  
**but you have me!**  
and cereal  
**you take the romance from everything**  
it’s who I am  
**I don’t believe that  
I believe you just like making my life hard**  
you seem to enjoy it  
**most definitely**  
and that’s why you keep talking to me  
**no**  
**not at all**  
**you think if you gave into my flirting that I’d get bored**  
well it’s been implied you don’t have trouble getting attention from people  
**so you think the only reason I care for you is that you don’t return it back easily?**  
no no it’s not a you thing  
**you think there has to be an ulterior motive behind someone genuinely liking you?**  
I don’t  
I don’t know  
**re, hunny no that’s not true at all**  
well I know  
kinda  
I mean I know we just had this conversation but  
**you don’t get me**  
exactly  
I mean that in a nice way  
**well I’m not talking to you cause it boosts my ego or because I think you’re something to win**  
**I like talking to you**  
**because you’re nice to have**  
I’m sorry you’re always reassuring me  
**it’s what friends and future spouses do**  
you have no shame whatsoever do you  
**absolutely not  
screw shame **  
I feel like that motto has gotten you in trouble and shouldn’t be used in every situation  
**incorrect. it’s always applicable**  
tell that to the probably 100 detentions you have  
**oh moony**  
**I have 100 from this year. at least.**  
I’m 99.9% sure that text just gave me heart palpitations  
**does my rule breaking turn you on**  
it stresses me out  
**your stress turns me on**  
does it? that’s a bit weird  
**actually yeah it is weird, my bad mate**  
please don’t claim to flirt with me and then call me mate  
it’s like when American boys call each other “bro” and still make out with each other  
it’s a bit weird  
**do you think we’ll be making out**  
I compared it because of the flirting I didn’t say similar actions would take place  
**mmmmm but the implications**  
okay mate I get it it was a bad comparison  
**omg you mate-ed me  
how dare you **  
you did it first  
**ironically! not to cause a divide in this relationship**  
what an unfortunate event I’m deeply sorry  
**I can hear the sarcasm coming from that text**  
good  
**not good. we need no divides  
it’s like Berlin **  
are you comparing our relationship struggles to the struggles that used to go on in Berlin? because,,,, no  
**no I just meant we need to be divideless just like Berlin. with the wall.  
that’s all **  
mmm okay  
**alSO GUESS WHAT YOU JUST DID**  
?? what  
**“comparing OUR RELATIONSHIP struggles” - you, a few texts ago**  
I dIDNT MEAN  
like  
our relationship  
no  
**yES ITS what you said**  
**our love isn’t to be denied anymore Remus John Lupin**  
Sorry I only date people if they’ve asKED and if Alice likes them.  
**yo mate let’s date**  
wow  
im actually disgusted  
**you know that was a joke**  
**I thought you’d like the poetic-ness of it all**  
I don’t know it was kinda trash boy-ish  
**our relationship is going to be just me flirting and you roasting**  
I assume so  
are you changing your mind lol  
**no? how do I get Alice to like me**  
Wait  
Sirius  
are you being serious right now  
and if you make a joke about your name I’ll super glue all your fingers together  
**cute**  
**am I being for real about getting Alice to like me or dating you?**  
yes  
both  
**“yes” that wasnt a yes or no question**  
I know fuck off but like you’re kidding  
**no  
no I’m not **  
what  
you’re joking  
**where are you?**  
Alice’s  
**go outside  
I’ll call you **  
okay 

*incoming call from ‘my dog star’*  
*call accepted*

 **“hey remus”**  
“you’re kidding.”  
**“wow, no hello. no ‘how are you sirius-‘“**  
“hello sirius. you’re joking.”  
**“no. why would I be?”**  
“we...we don’t know each other!”  
**“yes we do. we’ve been through this. we’ve been talking for a while are, weeks. I like you, you like me. and we’re both doing well, mentally speaking. You won’t become dangerously dependent on me, like you’re afraid of. we’ll be okay.”**  
“we’ve never met.”  
**“some people in relationships don’t. long distance, online, you know.”**  
“but...that’s not...I mean I know it’s possible but..”  
**“it doesn’t really work for you?”**  
“that’s not what I’m saying.”  
**“and don’t sound so shocked either, I’ve been telling you we aren’t just friends and I would’ve stopped if you told me to. but you deflect cause you weren’t confident in my intentions.”**  
“stop psychoanalyzing me.”  
**“fine. fine, apologies remus. you don’t owe me anything, and I hope you’re comfortable enough with me that you could tell me no.”**  
“yeah. I am.”  
**“are you? I know you have issues saying no. like the frank think. I don’t wanna pressure you.”**  
“you’re not. I am comfortable enough that I could tell you. but...”  
**“but you don’t know yet?”**  
“we’ve never met. what if we don’t- what if you decide....what if my cat doesn’t like you?”  
**“Remus, don’t make laugh, we’re having a moment.”**  
“It’s a vital question. it wasn’t a joke.”  
**“right now I have to win over Alice and shelob.”**  
“it’s a hard task, yes. but I think you could do it.”  
**“I know I can. but I want to know if worries aside, do you like the idea of being with me?”**  
“...I mean....yeah.”  
**“I’m sorry I didn’t hear that.”**  
“Sirius.”  
**“sorry. sorry, I’m trying not to excited fist pump in the air and be annoying about you saying that but I’ll refrain.”**  
“thank you. but...yes distance relationships work and all, but I don’t know if I...I can do that. I mean maybe I could.”  
**“how about this, okay, we are like engaged to be in a relationship.”**  
“excuse me?”  
**“like, we’re in the talking phase. we talk. about us. and then when we meet or the second time we meet or whenever we decide to change it to us dating, then we do that. we’re engaged. to be engaged.”**  
“well don’t phrase it like that.”  
**“sorry already changing our contact name to fiancé. as we’re speaking.”**  
“brilliant. of course you are.”  
**“you sound like you’re smiling.”**  
“So do you.”  
**“I have the cutest soon to be-maybe boyfriend in the world. of course I’m smiling.”**  
“you don’t know what I look like.”  
**“don’t need to.”**  
“earlier today, you said...we said looks aren’t everything but it’s not shallow to be physically attracted to who every you’re with. so you do need to.”  
**“not in all cases, and I like you more than I like most people I’ve seen before, so I think we’re doing good.”**  
“yeah?”  
**“yeah.”**  
“that’s-......”  
**“what?”**  
“nothing, Alice is looking at me through the window.”  
**“yeah, James and Mary are acting like they’re not trying to watch me but they’re both horrid at being subtle.”**  
“god, what are you going to tell them? about me..us, I mean?”  
**“exactly what I’m telling you. we’re figuring it out.”**  
“hm. Promise you’re not joking?”  
**“Remus do you really think I would? I mean, I promise. But...really?”**  
“I guess not. I know better, but...it’s just...there’s so many other people at your school that you could.... I mean James-“  
**“don’t bring him into when we’re talking about our future I will actually fight him.”**  
“you know I’m kidding about him, right?”  
**“yeah, babe, I do.”**  
“...but I was just saying, I..I wanna make sure you know what you’re getting into?”  
**“a thing with a smart beautiful boy? I’m fully aware.”**  
“stop. I’m having a conversation with you..don’t do that.”  
**“make you grin? I can hear it.”**  
“well you’re making it seem like I’m just saying those things so you’ll say nice things to me and I’m not doing that-“  
**“I know. I’m shutting down those self doubt things you say cause it’s stupid. It’s what James used to do to me. He wasn’t as flirty, but it’s essentially the same.”**  
“its stupid that you ever had self doubt.”  
**“...damn, remus. who knew you could be sappier than me?”**  
“I..just, I get a little clingy once I know I have someone.”  
**“you have me. be clingy. I love it.”**  
“sometimes I’m kind of a dick when you say stuff like that to me but I don’t mean it, you know? I mean...”  
**“you’re just sarcastic, I know. and I pretend to be hurt but I’m really grinning.”**  
“good. good.”  
**“and in the spirit of clearing the air, we’ve mentioned that I’ve never had a problem getting attention before or being with people, but I haven’t even kissed someone since we started talking. I mean I didn’t know we’d get like this, I just, you were what I wanted to spend my time on.”**  
“I haven’t kissed anyone since we started talking but that’s also because I have the attraction of a dead fish.”  
**“Remus John Lupin.”**  
“what?”  
**“fix that sentence.”**  
“grammatically?”  
**“no.”**  
“fine. I haven’t kissed anyone since we started talking but that’s also because I stay in my room and don’t see people.”  
**“that’s- you know what, we’ll work on it.”**  
“you’re too nice, you know? I’m just..”  
**“being negative?”**  
“yeah. Sorry.”  
**“It’s alright. I still love you.”**  
“wow, what a relief.”  
**“not even an hour into our engagement and here you are with your slander.”**  
“you enjoy it. remember?”  
**“yes, yes I know. there’s only so many hits a mans ego can take.”**  
“oh please, I think yours can survive anything”  
**“you really have that much faith in me? I’m touched- oh wait don’t you have an afternoon shift today?”**  
“yeah, why?”  
**“what time do you have to be at the library book store thing?”**  
“uh, I should’ve left a few minutes ago.”  
**“Remus! Mr.punctual you are ignoring the rules blatantly.”**  
“to be fair I usually get there fifteen minutes early.”  
**“that doesn’t surprise me. do you want me to hang up so you can go?”**  
“not really.”  
**“awww remus you wanna talk to me?”**  
“....that is what I implied. yes.”  
**“well I want to talk to you to, but I’m not going to be a bad almost maybe boyfriend and keep you from your job. as much as I want to. I won’t. I’ll talk to you later.”**  
“alright. bye sirius.”  
**“goodbye my mooncakes. I’ll love you forever, don’t forget me on your long hours you’ll slave away over the bookshelves of the library that keeps us apart-“**  
“don’t make me hang up on you.”  
**“you’re smiling. that was the goal. you can hang up now.”**  
“bye.”  
**“bye.”**

*call ended*

 

6:30  
I’m taking a break  
**it’s been 2 hours hardly**  
**I mean I’m glad you’re taking a break I missed you but I’m just pointing it out**  
I had to get chocolate from the coffee shop cafe thing  
a bowl of cereal didn’t really sustain my hunger  
**I’ll sustain your hunger**  
what does that mean  
**I don’t know but I hope it sounds hot**  
it doesn’t  
**:(**  
I mean yeah totally it’s really got me going  
**:) !! yes**  
**I can tell people we sexted while you were at work**  
no! do not tell people that  
it’s lies  
**I sent you something intended to be hot and you said it got you going,,,, seXTING**  
no  
**yes**  
no  
**yes**  
no  
**yes**  
sorry until what you say makes me harder than eating this chocolate bar does then it doesn’t count bYE I’m going back to work  
**mOONY**  
**REMUS JOHN LUPIN**  
**DID youJUST SAY THAT to me**  
**I’m**  
**you hoodlum**  
**all the names like delinquent you’ve ever called me now apply**  
**I mean I’m proud**  
**and also kinda turned on**  
**I know that you were joking when you said eating the chocolate made you hard but now I’m thinking about it**  
**I’m gonna go**  
**have fun at work**

 

8:35  
not fun at work  
the people I help Alice baby sit for came in with their devil children  
and I already had a headache  
now I’m very pain  
**wow you’re tired**  
**and probably starving if all you’ve had is a ball of cereal and a seemingly really really good chocolate bar**  
it was good :(  
**why are you sad about it**  
cause I don’t have another one  
**go home and eat**  
**im eating almonds, grilled chicken, and a salad**  
why does that all sound good  
**cause your body misses healthily food?**  
funny  
**cause you’re super hungry?**  
probably  
**how about until you get food we talk about that text you sent me earlier when you told me you were going back to work**  
no  
**only one exciting text a day?**  
probably  
and sometimes I might flake and disappoint  
**you could never disappoint**  
was that like sexual  
**no, but it can be**  
stop you’re ruining my Wendy’s experience  
**you told me my healthy food sounds good and then you went to Wendy’s??**  
I’m hungry and I told Alice to meet me here I want ice cream and chicken nuggets  
**oh my god**  
Alice is here thanks for entertaining me  
**my pleasure mooncakes**

9:58  
good night  
**good night muffin!!! I love you my soon to be maybe-boyfriend possibly**  
that’s a long petname  
**you know what else is long**  
you better not say  
**my love for you**  
that doesn’t even make sense but okay  
**:)**  
goodnight sirius  
**who’s question turn?**  
uh I have no idea  
**yours??**  
do you like coleslaw  
**no. gross  
also is that really your question **  
yes coleslaw grosses me out and kinda scares me so I was making sure it wasn’t going to be a thing  
**“Kinda scares me” remus it’s a food**  
it’s disturbing  
**omg go to sleep angel child**  
okay I love you a lot  
**!!! YOU DO  
“A lot”  
I LOVE YOU **  
**GOODNIGHT  
HAVE GOOD DREAMS PUMPKIN  
DREAM OF ME **  
**DREAM OF ME RIDDING THR EARTH OF COLESLAW FOR YOU ILL BE YOUR HERO**  
don’t make me block my hero because he won’t let me sleep  
**AWEW I AM YOUR HERO  
oH RIGht good night baby **

 

8:23 am  
**Remus!**  
**hey mooncakes**  
**I love you!**  
you’re a nice thing to wake up to  
despite the fact that you wake me up  
**awwwwwwww**  
**sorry about waking you, but I don’t wanna waste to many hours not talking to you**  
**also to be fair this is better than the 2 am wake up yesterday morning**  
very true  
**I missed you almost maybe boyfriend**  
You were asleep  
**still**  
**did you missss meeeee**  
**Remus**  
**Remus John Lupin**  
**Mooncakes**  
**did you really fall back asleep**  
**oh my god**


	9. chocolate covered strawberries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for it being 84 years since my last update. whoops. also there’s more high school musical slandering in this chapter but maybe in 3 messages toward the mid-end, the idea of the slander came from a post on tumblr I saw by justalilbobafettish that informed the world ‘imports’ come from a different country. + is this the first time there’s some stuff that isn’t just texting??? woah who knew I could actually produce different content. also continuing the trend of asking a question each night, shout out to my friend who actually does this with me because some of my questions in here come from that. enjoy humans.
> 
>  
> 
> _James speaking and texting is in italics_  
>  Remus speaking is normal

Sirius looked at the time on his phone once he got it back from the professor who confiscated it from him in detention. 4:45 pm.

he was weeding through his notifications as he walked down the halls, first texting back remus, when he got down to right after his phone was taken, about 5 hours ago he got a few strange texts and a video from James.

11:26 am   
_sirius ohMY GOD_  
 _pay attention to me, James the great is speaking_  
 _hun today of all days it is tragic you got your phone taken away_  
 _I’m pretty sure this is the best thing to ever happen_

_missed call from Jamie Baby_

_Message from Jamie Baby : *video attachment*_   
_watch THe viDEO I sent, it doesn’t have visuals because I wanted to keep a surprise for you but we had too much to say for a voice mail_

*video audio*  
“ _Hey you big dumb, getting a detention on a Saturday is always shitty but this time it’s even worse. so picture it I’m jogging and stopped for water and to stretch and I heard some people talking on the bench, I recognized who it was because of name and complaints and stuff, so when the girl walked off I walked up to see if it was really him, and..._

hey. it was me. James is very nice and I hope you know our relationship is flourishing over here.

_Cheers to that, he’s a right good bloke. really funny once he’s not so nervous. Were having lunch together and he’s made approximately 34 jokes about my running outfit._

you look good, but annoying. like you tell people, ‘oh no I can’t go get ice cream I’m too busy being fit,’ I mean, that’s exactly what you are but I’m becoming used to it.

_good, you need to be friends with your boyfriend best mate._

...oh my god...James

_he does blush! holy hell_

stop

_okay Siri, good bye save this video to wank off to remus voice- ow! you hit just like lily, remus. anyway, but we’ve got to be off so ta, I didn’t want this to get to long to send. Tell the boy bye._

okay. bye boy.

_romantic_ ”

 

Sirius stared at his phone after he listened to the video in shock and then listened to it again before running to his dorm to find James and prod him for details. he texted remus as he ran. 

4:45 pm   
**YOU MET JAMES**  
 **BEFORE ME**  
 **YOU SHOULDVE RAN AWAY**  
 **AND SAID**  
 **“I CANT BETRAY MY MAN LIKE THAT”**  
I’m so very sorry   
**ALSO**  
 **HOW DID YOU JUST CASUALLY RUN INTO HIM**  
because If you would’ve mentioned what stupid ass boarding school you went to I would’ve told you it’s 20 minutes away from in town and in town is about a 15 minute walk from my neighborhood. I live a solid 40 minute walk from where you are now.  
 **whAT**  
 **wHAT**  
 **WHAT????**  
I know  
it took me a minute too  
 **I’m sad James didn’t video you but I also want to see you in person first so I’m glad**  
it also would’ve made me awfully uncomfortable   
**I asked if you were cute and he said yes**  
mmmm he lies   
**i can hear how cute you are from 40 minutes away**  
excuse me   
that makes no sense  
but thank you?  
 **welcome**  
Shelob is sitting at the window staring outside, so if you look outside, you’ll have essentially the same exact part of the sky in the same area as Shelob   
**I’m doing it now**  
 **Shelob and I are bonding like this**  
can we talk a bit more about us and things at some point before we meet? I’d feel really weird meeting you like I just did James just because it’s a bit different  
 **yes**  
 **of course**  
when we are ready, where would we do it  
 **in town maybe? Alice’s if you don’t want me to know where you live**  
smooth   
**come on! Alice probably has 2 neighbors I couldn’t possibly ever guess which ones you**  
actually she’s on the corner so it’s just me  
 **now I’ll know exactly which one you are**  
you would’ve known,,, any way,,,  
 **shhhhh**  
 **I want to hug Shelob**  
 **and feed you chocolate**  
 **and rub your shoulders**  
 **and kiss your forehead**  
 **and play high school musical really loudly while you’re in the shower so you have no choice but to listen**  
 **and watch you read books**  
 **!!! read to you!!!**  
 **it’ll be great**  
why did you stop  
 **awww omg**  
 **hold your hand**  
 **feed you cereal**  
 **beat the shit out of frank**  
no  
 **:( sad**  
please if you ever meet or see frank don’t do anything mean   
**fine. I promise, for you and Alice**  
I have an essay to do and banana muffins to eat, farewell   
**essay on a Saturday?**  
it’s due next week. I do things early  
 **who even are you**  
good bye Sirius   
**fAREWELL MY LOve**

 

6:21 pm  
hello   
**hEY**  
are you drunk  
 **on love? yes**  
alcohol?  
 **no**  
 **I was just excited**  
makes sense   
I have an update on the frank front   
**gross**  
 **please explain**  
Alice made a joke about me texting you when frank asked why I was ignoring them and she made it sound suggestive and so later frank was like joking and said “I hope he doesn’t take what I did to you to hard,” and I just said “he’ll get over it. I mean it does bother him” and frank is now terrified because he was joking and didn’t know I told you so now frank things you’re gonna hurt him   
**gOOD**  
no please don’t   
**then can James?**  
no  
 **Marlene?**  
No  
 **Mary?**  
No   
**Lily?**  
No   
**how about i just glare and trip him a lot**   
okay   
**that was hot**  
 **I mean, you’re letting me defend your honor**  
 **I’m here for it**  
Sirius you’re about to have glaring and tripping privileges revoked   
**sorry**  
 **I love you :)**  
read 7:58 pm   
**wow**  
 **petty**

8:32 pm  
pancakes   
**pancakes?**  
...it’s a ‘breakfast’ food   
**I know what they are Remus I’m questioning why you said it**  
to wonder what I should put on them   
**are they plain pancakes?**  
no there’s chocolate chips and peanut butter chips in them   
**then don’t put anything on them**  
I feel judged   
**chocolate syrup**  
thank you xxxx  
 **yoU SENT ME ‘XXXX’ we are officially in the talking stage omg**  
 **that was the 2nd most flirtatious text you’ve ever sent and it was over food.**  
 **the first most flirtatious was at a book store and I think that’s very telling of who you are**  
thereSs chocohhlatde syripp alt over my fingses brb   
**why am I attracted to that**  
 **can I pour chocolate syrup on myself and then you lick it off**  
hi Sirius - Alice   
**oh god**  
 **um hi my bad I would never actually corrupt your innocent Remus like that**  
 **I’m very sorry**  
I read the text out loud to him and I heard something get knocked over in the bathroom so to fair he’s already corrupted - Alice   
**he’s going to hate both of us**  
eh, teasing is good for him  
;)   
\- Alice  
 **I bet so**  
I hate you and Alice I wanna fight   
**mhm I don’t believe that I believe me flirting with you causes blushing and knocking things over in the bathroom**  
there goes our hot sticky date with chocolate syrup plans. tragic.  
 **wAIT NO I TAKE ALL OF IT Back**  
:/ sorry too late I already took it off the calendar I don’t have time to reschedule   
**evil**  
 **pure evil**  
thanks ;)

 

11:34 pm  
grandnight   
**once again, didn’t even try**  
 **you stayed up late tonight.**  
 **good night**  
 **sleep well my chocolate pancake**  
no don’t like that one   
**I’ll work on it.**  
question?   
tired to think. your go?  
 **biggest regret in life?**  
oh Jesus that’s a lot right now   
I’d say probably eating that fifth pancake   
**I was going to say that I didn’t go last Saturday with James to the town because then I would’ve met you. you ruined the sappy moment**  
no I didn’t, I was there Saturday so it’s not my fault   
**someone’s fiery when they’re tired**  
are you talking about me? because yes,  
I am tired   
**go to sleep baby**  
okie doikje  
 **it’s like you text as you’re asleep**  
 **sleep well love**

 

7:12 am  
they put me on more meds and I just feel dizzy but I still need to go into work today please say something inspiring   
**I’m naked**  
how does that help me at all  
 **oh no I meant give me a moment I’m getting dressed  
I didn’t mean,, **  
uh huh I don’t believe you   
**I’d own up to it if I did mean it in a flirty context**  
fair enough.  
 **back to the original problem-**  
 **think about it this way, just pretend your dizzy because you just got off a merry go round**  
note to self : never ask Sirius for help   
**:(**  
thank you for trying it made me laugh and I’ll probably think about it all day even if I don’t want to   
**aw you mean that**  
Unfortunately, yes   
**you love that you love me**  
I love taking naps also  
 **“also”**  
stop insisting I like you and then tease me when I own up to it, it makes me want to harm your collar bone   
**kind of want to do it more just because I’d actually enjoy that**  
you have problems   
**yes**  
 **also baby I’m teasing you because you’re cute**  
nEW subject I walked by the bench that me and James met at today. brought back good memories   
**too early to do this to my poor heart, let’s talk about something more important**  
which is?  
if you say your hair routine I’m gonna need a longer nap  
 **what’s the new medicine for?**  
uhhh right   
so if I sleep with someone they can’t get HIV   
I’m 16 so they wanted it just in case   
and they wanted me stable enough to handle it   
**YAY BABY**  
 **I’m cheering for you because you’re stable and being healthy not the sex part**  
 **I mean yes good you’re safe, sex wise but**  
 **not like**  
 **that wasn’t the focus**  
omfg I know please stop right now   
**okay**  
the only thing that stressed me out was the “you’re stable enough” and in my mind I freaked out because that meant healthy enough which meant weight measurements were going to be included in what they read out loud to all the doctors in the room and it made me a little freaked out at first but I’m okay now. im good. I know I sound stupid or dramatic but it was a lot for me   
**not stupid, never stupid. I’m proud.**  
I bet you say that to all the boys  
 **just the cute ones with a cat named Shelob**  
oh, so everyone? wow   
**what can I say? Shelob really pulls me in**  
it’s okay. I can’t really blame you.   
**Re?**  
yes?  
 **...You’re really tough. You know that?**  
I’m starting to gather that   
**That’s hot**  
I worry about you   
**that’s hot too ;)**

 

10:21 am   
did you know Freddie Mercury is one of the most famous gay men to ever exist but he said multiple times he was bisexual, this aids in the argument of how bi-erasure is blatant and how many people don’t believe that bisexual people are real. it’s surrounding us. so don’t blame me if I think you’re too good to be true when I’m not even suppose to think you exist   
**rEMUS**  
 **1\. annoyed about the Freddie Mercury thing like let him be bi, also he was 100% Indian like people hate the lgbt and the non whites**  
 **2\. the annoyance over bi-erasure is hot and I love it**  
 **3\. AWWWW REMUS THATS THE CUTEST THING EVER BUT ALSO SO FUNNY I LOVE YOU**  
thank you sometimes I try   
I wanted to be nice and talk about something that annoyed me at the same time   
**you were successful**  
 **i love a man who recognizes my sexuality**  
I love a man who doesn’t try to risk frogs lives by releasing them into a teachers lounge  
 **that was one time**  
 **let it go please the frogs are safe and happy probably**  
or they’re still upset from the hole ordeal and get afraid when they see people  
 **I think they were like that any way**  
you’ll never know   
**we sAVED THEM**  
 **James and I are heros**  
you saved them to upset teachers not to save them  
 **next time I see trapped frogs I’ll save them just to save them just so you’ll be happy**  
but you see now you’ll be saving them to please me   
so it’s not for the frogs   
**......**  
 **Sirius : 0 points**  
 **Remus : 96 points**  
points for being correct?   
**for being difficult**  
oh no you won that game a long time ago   
**97**  
what happens when I make it to 100? should I be concerned   
**yes**  
ummmmm   
**I’ll mail you a frog**  
that’s going to kill it you monster   
**ILL HAND DELIVER IT SAFELY IN A TERRARIUM**  
I don’t want a frog no thank you Shelob would be alarmed   
**at 100, Shelob is getting stolen**  
you would steal your own kid???  
 **it’s better than taking someone else’s**  
no   
I mean yeah   
but it’s still kidnapping   
**cat-napping**  
 **get it?**  
I’ve rolled my eyes 5 times since I read that text   
**aww**  
how is that aww-worthy   
**everything you do is awww worthy**  
goODBye I am going to baby sit   
**make sure your cheeks aren’t still pink when you get there, that blush will get you trouble. they could think you’re getting a bit sick.**

1:39 pm  
 **I’ll be in practice for a while and then James and I are getting food if I don’t text you back I love you and I hope you know id rather be with you and I hope baby sitting didn’t kill you**

2:38   
baby sitting killed me, revived me, and then killed me again

3:49  
what’s the point of practicing sports over and over if you know how to play? for me it just sounds like you’re pre-choreographing the game and then you just preform it for people 

5:11 pm  
 **we do not preform**  
 **well, I do**  
 **we practice to get better**  
well I mean I know that practically speaking   
but if someone’s good then they don’t need to get better and if they weren’t good, they wouldn’t be on a team   
**you’re ruining my whole life**  
I know I’m very sorry   
it totally makes sense to practice and to sport and stuff I’m just being a bitter anti-movement person  
 **“to sport and stuff” gorgeous vocab usage for the nerd of this relationship**  
hey you’re the one who’s hatching elaborate pranks and managing to not get expelled, so you’re the nerd   
**nO**  
 **I’m just devious**  
 **‘Nerd’ is just rude to my punk rock credit**  
So nerd is insulting to you, does that mean you’re insulting me   
**that’s preposterous**  
 **there’s nothing about you to insult**  
 **you make being a nerd look gorgeous and be the most appealing quality of all the qualities**  
 **I just want to impress you by being cool**  
I know you’re not cool though  
 **I’m trying**  
I still like you anyway   
**oh**  
 **aw**  
 **wait James is annoyed we stopped in the middle of sneaking around the boiler room just so I could bask in the sweetness of you**  
 **babe awwww**  
the boiler room?   
**post-practice antics**  
 **ya know, girl stuff**  
right.   
are you going to get hurt? nothing good happens in a boiler room  
 **what do you thinks going to happen to me??**  
boiled   
**that’s not,,, no**  
 **we’re fine**  
 **no one gets hurt when we’re doing something**  
except frogs :(   
**foR heavens SAKE**  
 **I love you but I need two hands to set up what we’re setting up**  
 **I can’t try to use my feet so I can still text you like last time**  
why did you say that to me   
dear lord   
please go   
**I’m sorry I have to leave you,**  
 **but these hands are much needed**  
don’t get them boiled   
**I will try not to**

 

8:57 pm   
good night sirius, if you dream of me make sure you’re feeding me chocolate covered strawberries and Shelob is there to make sure you keep it PG   
**I wouldn’t exceed PG unless we have had a conversation about boundaries prior to this and then you asked for it to increase is PG rating**  
 **the next step is a back rub and that’s a whole PG-13 but I promise Shelob will watch my hands**  
I love you   
**you LOVE me**  
 **omg I’m so honored**  
 **I just...I want to frame that text**  
 **print it out, laminate it,**  
 **mail it to everyone I know**  
 **i love you too**  
 **but I wasn’t joking**  
 **I mean about the first part**  
 **I don’t want a cat watching me**  
 **that’s a lot of pressure**  
you’re a mess but yeah that would be weird   
**also that was a way to tell you I’m ready to talk boundaries**  
 **and what to do with us when ever you want**  
soon. maybe not right now it is a little late   
**that’s perfectly fine but it’s only it’s 9:20**  
 **“a little late”**  
 **adorable**  
 **it doesn’t have to be now, it can be wherever you want**  
 **I want us ready**  
 **not some amateurs who just run into each other at a bench and have no idea where they stand with each other and what they can and can’t do so things don’t get awkward**  
what would James and I have done to make things awkward?  
 **maybe you’re not over the dinosaurs dying out yet and he just casually brought that up**  
 **where would you two be now?**  
oh dear lord   
goodnight   
**goodnight**  
dream of me and the strawberries   
**I will 100% try my best to do that trust me**

 

6:24 am   
**morning!!!!!**  
no thank you   
**okay good night**

8:43 am   
good morning   
**hello my gorgeous sunshine child**  
are you talking to me or Shelob because Shelob is not a morning person either   
**both of you**  
gross   
I know it’s only 9 am but how has your day been I know you’ve been awake a while  
 **it’s been good, breakfast was a little tense because James and I essentially walked into regulus friends but it’s alright.**  
**I honestly mean that I’m calm and okay and stuff.**  
good.   
that’s really good I’m glad everything’s fine   
did they say anything?  
 **no, they’re a lot smaller than me and James so they’re a tad afraid of us but still James just kind of escorted me calmly out of there**  
awww go James   
**yes I love him too**  
are you in class?   
**yeah but I just wanted to talk to you for a minute this morning.**  
about?  
 **nothing. anything.**  
stop don’t be cute then I can’t tell you to pay attention   
**I’m always cute!**  
Sirius   
**yes?**  
pay attention   
**damn :/**

11:25 am   
I eaten healthy foods twice today   
please be concerned   
because I am   
**you’re eating healthy so you forget how good sweet food is and when I feed you chocolate strawberries it’ll be that much better**  
wow we’re really not letting this go are we   
**no it’s a good plan I like it**  
dually noted   
oh uhh I have a question   
**do you now?**  
yes   
**are you going to ask it?**  
perhaps   
it’s also not a question  
 **are you okay**  
I’m just   
you know how we talked about talking about us first and everything   
**yes?**  
we can do that any time now or in the future whenever you want I’m just saying we’re good on my side to discuss those things   
**yes yes okay great how about later tonight once I’m not in class and can 100% focus on my baby**  
James?  
 **you’re my baby**  
yeah I know what you mean. that’s just nice   
**why didn’t you just ask me to call you that again?**  
I didn’t want to seem too clingy  
 **Remus oh my god**

2:32 pm  
 **I didn’t get to nap in mcgonagals class today :(**  
how are you as smart as you are if you don’t do shit  
 **magic**  
uh huh   
you know I don’t want sass for going to bed at 8:30 when you stay up late because you sleep through a class everyday   
**I don’t sass you**  
 **I admire you with teasing**  
why didn’t you get to sleep in her class?  
 **she had people come observe her class like board members, usually that’s when randomly weird shit happens to teachers we don’t like but McG is the best person so James and I had to behave**  
that sounds so awful I’m so sorry  
 **thank you for your sympathy I really needed it**  
oh yes I’m sure I can’t imagine what you’re going though   
**no one relates, I’m all alone with this tragedy I’m not sure I can get through it**  
 **I might collapse from sleep exhaustion any time now**  
sleep exhaustion?  
do you mean sleep deprivation   
**oh shit**  
 **it’s already started**  
where did James get you and why won’t he return you   
**he found me as I was being descended from the sky by the angels that hand crafted me**  
of course  
that makes sense  
 **should we take down the slytherins football flag in the hall or go put more of ours all over the hall way**  
why don’t you take theirs down and replace it with one of you’re so now there’s no slytherin team or trace of them   
**briLLIANT**  
please don’t fall standing on whatever you’re standing on the get the flags down   
**I’ll try**  
 **I didn’t fall**  
I don’t even want to know what class you’re missing, do I? **....probably not**   
what did the slytherins do?  
 **their team keeps messing with the younger kids during practice, like it’s not that whole house but a few of their teams guys are dicks and they kind of rub off on everyone else either way. the flag thing is step one**  
if they’re being mean to younger children just lock them in a box and leave them there   
**aggressive. I like it**  
 **aggressive doesnt really work in schools though, you have to be sneaky. I forgot you never went. It’s not like they keep boxes around for the bad children**  
I did go to school for like two years  
 **when you were a child yes, things were very easy school wise back then**  
I didn’t really talk to anyone except I kind of got along with a few of the girls in the back of the class and no one really bothered me except the boys in the older years and they were mean cause I looked like I was terrified most the time   
**now I wanna lock some kids in a box**  
I was six. it’s okay  
 **if people are mean to you now, kick them in the shin**  
oh, now who’s aggressive?  
 **still you**  
but it a nice way, right?  
 **100% it’s the most adorable precious thing. like if a small kitten were to get annoyed at you**  
I miss flirting with James suddenly   
**He said he does to and he winked so I gently tapped him down the last two stairs.**  
you pushed him   
**yes**  
how many more part of the plan do you have next to the flags?  
 **4.5**  
why .5? if it’s another thing then make it a whole step  
 **then 5 more**  
that’s extensive   
**I’m in it for the long haul baby**

4:15 pm   
**did you stop texting me because I said “in it for the long haul baby”**  
possibly   
I also had something to tend to   
**I had another hand free after you weren’t replying so I stopped almost falling out of a window**  
Sirius!  
 **what?**  
‘Hold on I’ll talk to you later I need to avoid death while doing stupid things, thanks’ is not hard to say   
**it is not**  
 **but I’d rather talk to you**  
stupid  
nice, but stupid   
**that’s my middle name**  
no it isn’t   
**That’s what it translates to in Italian**  
also wrong   
**let a man live**  
my middle name translated in Italian is ‘Sirius’ dream crusher’ so alas, I cannot   
**how can you be my dream crusher If you are my dream?**  
because I haven’t came true and instead, I pull for James   
**I’m going to put him in the mean kid box**  
no!   
my man   
**he’s too tall to fit in a box, his life is spared this time  
this time **  
would you really lock your best friend up in a box?  
 **again? I don’t know he pouted a lot last time after I let him out**  
please tell me you’re joking   
**no**  
 **he did it to me first**  
are you 7 years old   
**essentially**  
 **I mean I’m 7 years old mentally and you’re 7 years old height wise**  
wow   
that’s fair though, but if we’re 7, we’re both too young to have a boyfriend   
**no I’m not James gives me permission to date the hell out of you if you wanted me to**  
romantic  
 **so, speaking of...**  
ah, yeah. we need to have that conversation  
 **right. here’s my thing, it’ll make more sense to really talk after work meet just because that helps us see how often we’d be able to see each other and how well we can do this. Right? And with me, you know how I feel about you but it doesn’t have to be explored anytime soon.**  
 **I think we just should meet to meet with no expectations or plans so it goes where it wants**  
yeah   
yeah that’s good I mean I don’t know if it should be more secluded like just us or if that’s too much pressure and do it around our friends but then that could be too crowded idk what do I want   
**it’ll be okay either way**  
it’s not like we’d be texting, it’s different   
**we’ve talked on the phone and the first time we ever did it, it was great it wasn’t awkward or anything. we’ll be okay. I mean it’ll be a little new at first but it’s okay.  
I’ll hold your hand **  
never mind I take it back I’m not meeting you unless James is holding you back   
**fair**  
also when you said you want to wait to see where things go themselves, what does that mean  
 **it means we can see how we feel and what we want? do you want to try and date me**  
what I’m asking is like,,  
 **oH**  
 **yeah no I told you we dont have to talk about anything physical related until we’re comfortable enough to. it’s not like I’m expecting to end the first meeting with my tongue down your throat. I won’t even hug you unless you want me to**  
okay. thanks  
I just, sometimes I good with people physically but sometimes it makes me nervous especially when people are just touchy and I don’t really know them. It’ll also take me a while to be able to do things exceeding the throat thing   
**that’s okay**  
is it? I know you mentioned being with people and you had a good time so I don’t want to stop you from that or make you wait   
If we were to be together   
**you wouldn’t be making me wait, I know you’re not comfortable getting physical fast and for a long while and I said it was okay and I don’t mind at all. I want you, not what’s in your jeans.**  
gross   
**also I was hooking up for the sake of hooking up, I’d date you for the sake of a relationship with you. that’s more then sleeping together and hell it could be 2 years before that happens.**  
so we’re okay then? we’re just going to see what happens and go from there  
 **yeah**  
 **that means we’re ready to talk about meeting**  
god   
okay right   
**we don’t have to now**  
 **that was enough and I know it was a lot for the both of us  
you make my chest ache but in a good way **  
me?   
**yes**  
you make my chest ache to   
but in a concerned, about to stress myself to death way  
 **I love you too remus**

 

6:00 pm  
I hope when we meet I remember my phone because I found a video on tumblr of a man with a briefcase running down the street and then he drops the briefcase and it opens up and it’s a bunch of potato chips spilling out and he tries to shovel them in his mouth and the briefcase as he takes off running again 

6:34 pm  
 **sometimes I worry about you**  
 **but that’s so sketchy**  
 **also I feel that when I’m leaving Nandos with a bunch of their nachos**  
that comment made the video 30 times better thank you   
**have you spent the whole afternoon watching people shovel chips into briefcases?**  
essentially yes  
there’s no better way to spend time.  
also   
**also?**  
there’s more high school musical problems   
**oh god**  
alright bare with me, at one point sharay singe thst she has “turkey imported from Maine,” right? In order to import an item it has to be a different country. different country. but high school musical is set in New Mexico and Maine and New Mexico are both states of the US. so? they can’t have turkey imported from Maine. unless,,,  
 **unless what?**  
 **what are you trying to say here?**  
well I mean you never see any of the characters celebrate the Fourth of July   
**So high school musical is set in a different New Mexico??**  
no that’s stupid. In an alternate dimension where New Mexico wasn’t on the union side and their civil war really did split the states.   
**Oh, of course**  
 **Maybe the writers of the songs didn’t care that much about technicalities**  
there’s too many issues in those movies for it to just be an accident   
**I agree**  
 **next time someone asks me if I’ve ever seen high school musical and I go “you mean the one where everyone is gay and set in an alternate reality?”**  
what if they say “yes that one”  
 **then I know it’s you and we have to get married immediately**  
or there’s a different high school musical movie we don’t know about   
**you care a lot about those movies for someone who doesn’t care about those movies**  
well, you know that survival saying,   
“know thy enemy”  
 **your enemy is high school musical**  
 **mine is frank**  
Frank ocean? I quite like him  
 **No the frank that I wish was in the middle of the ocean**  
smooth  
 **I usually am.**  
 **on a better note that isn’t frank, how was your shift today?**  
it was good. I had to help a small human find its mom though. I was scared that it had been left there and now I had to provide for it   
**there are so many things wrong with that**  
 **“Small human” you are a small human.**  
yes but this ones head wasn’t even to my rib cage   
**and “it’s mom”**  
you know what I meant, his mom. he was a cute kid I was just scared what to do with him   
**“Left there and now I had to provide”**  
You know kids get left in trash cans and churches but maybe this mom was like ‘I want my kid to learn to handle being alone,’ and left him with books so he can read about the world, which is nicer than a trash can. I imagine it wouldn’t damage your ego as bad.   
**Who lets you baby sit**  
 **Tell them to stop**  
I can take care of kid I’m just afraid of them   
I wouldn’t leave them anywhere on purpose   
**That’s good to know**  
 **I don’t want you in jail for getting annoyed with those kids you and Alice baby sit and just taking them to pizza express and just leaving them**  
I wouldn’t do that to pizza express workers   
**Remus**  
They’re loud kids! I take care of them I promise they’re alive. I wouldn’t be mean to a child.   
**Marlene was reading over my shoulder and she definitely agrees with how you handle children. she thought the library vs the trash can thing was funny**  
I wasn’t joking honestly, I don’t want kids abandon in dumpsters   
**My ego would be bruised by either one**  
I wish my parents would’ve left me some where  
 **You could’ve gotten murdered**  
i could get murdered any time   
**don’t say that**  
I’m sorry. I haven’t gotten murdered once in my life, therefore I’m good at avoiding it  
does that help?  
 **Very much so. Thanks**

 

10:02 pm   
I’m going to sleep   
question  
 **yes**  
wait hold on I don’t have one   
**good planning**  
 **I expected more preparation from you remus lupin**  
do you believe in second chances?  
 **wow okay**  
sorry that’s a thematic structure within the entirety of this book I just started reading   
**I’d say it depends on what its for. because I believe people mess up, I used to be a lot more explosive angry and do things to push people away that if James wasn’t so forgiving for we wouldn’t be they close**  
 **but in terms of ruining a relationship and giving a second chance it depends**  
 **I wouldn’t forgive cheating**  
me either, I’ve always like that thing that says ‘if they really cared for you they wouldn’t put themselves in a position to lose you,’ and I think that applies to this mostly. but everything else is situational   
**look at you baby having standards and not accepting bad treatment from people, I’m proud**  
same to you then   
**you’re sweet. go to bed**  
I’m in bed   
oh wait   
you meant   
never mind   
good night   
**you really are tired, okay then. get some sleep my darling angel pumpkin pie**  
my star  
 **aWWWWWWWWWWWWWW LOVE YOU BABY**  
 **SLEEP WELL**  
 **IM YOURE STAR**  
*your  
 **damn you**


	10. macaroni, cookies, and pebbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it’s taken so long! I’ve just been so caught up trying to plan out the ending also if you’re really into modern wolfstar and modern marauders on social media, you should check my tumblr out. it’s @modern-wolfstar and I swear I post more than I do on here. enjoy!

6:23 am  
**I have a question**  
one that will wait until 11 am  
**alright**

11:02 am  
**Remus**  
15 more minutes I’m sLEEPING 

11:20 am  
**Remus**  
what is it sirius  
**I have an important question**  
ask  
**why is there something called a ‘grapefruit’ if we already have fruits called grapes?**  
grapes are berries.  
**what**  
berries  
**excUSE ME**  
**like same category as strawberry??**  
in a botanical sense, a strawberry isn’t a berry technically  
**whAT**  
**WAIT**  
**REMUS**  
**WHATS GOING ON**  
read a book  
**I JUST GOOGLED IT**  
**YOURE RIGHT**  
yeah I am  
**I’m guessing that’s something I’m going to have to start saying a lot if we date**  
I’m not that kind of person  
only say I’m right if I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong  
really  
I mean not yet, but maybe one day I will be  
**you’re too cute remus.**  
uhhh I have to go get reaDY FOR WORK  
**will it always be this fun to flirt with you?**  
**who am I kidding**  
**of course it will be**  
bye Sirius have a day  
**have a day**  
listen  
I was rushing  
and I also don’t know what to say to what you said  
**the “you’re cute”?generally people say “thanks” or “I know”I think your way is better**  
anxiety isn’t cute  
**no no of course not. That’s not what I mean. No matter how you responded I’d love it, cause I’m whipped**  
**Like head over heels**  
I have work sirius i hAVE TO GO  
also you’re kind of okay too  
**I know.**

 

2:31 pm  
oh no  
siriushsjsisiiw  
**was that suppose to be my name**  
I don’t know I didn’t name you  
**what**  
**are you okay**  
Are any of us  
**Remus**  
Yep that’s me  
**moony are you okay?**  
Frank did something bad  
**Oh no**  
**Fuck**  
**What did he do**  
**I’ll remove his eye brows and break his knuckles on every other finger**  
he brought me and Alice Mac n cheese and cookies  
**??**  
**how dare he ??**  
**I’m not following**  
unfollowed  
**what**  
oh! story! let’s get back to it!  
Okie dokie so he brought the food over and we were upstairs  
we came down stairs and he was on the phone outside  
When he came back in we had eaten like half the food  
Cause ,,, it was Mac n cheese right  
**right**  
and cookies  
**right**  
and then he got a little freaked out  
**oh no**  
**what**  
**why**  
he then told us that both items of food had hella marihakode in them  
**what**  
Mary iguana  
**who**  
SMOKE PUFF PUFF HIGH  
**marijuana????**  
yah bitch that’s what I said  
**oh my god**  
**are you high**  
no?  
actually yeah.  
yeah i am  
me too  
oh wait that was me  
oh no  
I consumed 5 times the amount of recommended marignanw  
**just say weed**  
weed  
flower  
**no**  
**are you okay**  
yeah I’m talking to the fish  
**fish**  
In the tank  
do you think they can cry under water  
**no I don’t**  
but then how will the other fish know they’re sad  
do they just keep it inside  
that’s so sad  
I’ll be a fish therapist  
the blue one says he misses his family  
**oh no poor blue fish**  
**you should really remember your clients names**  
that’s trivial. and unimportant  
**what’s alice doing**  
crying  
and watching cartoons  
if the cartoon ends it means we die  
**excuse me**  
because the man in the cartoon took a nap and when he opens his eyes we die  
because were his dream  
**ah, makes sense**  
I can’t feel my brain  
**I’m sorry pumpkin**  
puMPKIN HHHHH  
**where’s frank?**  
we sent him away  
he apologized  
but I didn’t want to say something under the influence to him that I’m trying not to tell alice about  
**the frank thing**  
yeah  
**maybe you should tell her**  
franks nice to her Sirius  
**he drugged you**  
**and her**  
on accident  
he thought we were still upstairs  
his friends do marihksoushe  
marihhjana  
married foams  
**ah, perfect**  
**my favorite drug, “married foams”**  
no Sirius don’t do drugs they’re bad for you  
the green fish had a problem with sea weed when he was in the ocean  
it was too tempting so he came to live in this fish tank in Alice’s home  
**sea weed**  
seaWEED  
open your eyes Sirius  
**I feel really bad for you and I wish I could be there to take care of you but James and i are laughing our asses off**  
cause the fish?  
**cause you’re cute**  
yOUDontKnoW what I look like  
**I can feel it in my bones**  
that could be osteoporosis  
**oh my gosh**  
I don’t feel good  
and I’m thinking about stuff  
**like what?**  
I don’t know  
sharks I guess  
**what about them?**  
some of them swim faster that other sharks  
some sharks don’t swim at all  
because they’re dead  
**do I laugh or cry**  
wait wait  
shhhhh  
shut up  
I have an idea  
**what is it?**  
sharks have to keep swimming to stay alive right? I mean it’s something like that. so when a shark dies, if someone just keeps moving it,, does it become alive again??  
**yes**  
**that’s how zombie sharks are made**  
what  
what  
oh my gosh no what  
**Remus, baby, I was joking**  
Jim wouldn’t find that funny  
**Jim?**  
the pink pebble in the fish tank  
**ah**  
**makes sense**  
I’m still thinking about sharks man  
they pRE DATE TREES  
how wild  
**yeah aquatic organisms developed before land ones**  
fUCK YES  
that was hot  
**you’re such a nerd**  
can marihusnzlauana kill me  
**marijuana**  
it’s what I said  
can you read  
**sorry my apologies**  
**no it can’t**  
should I google it  
**no**  
**just leave it be and talk to me and Jim**  
Jim can’t talk sirius  
he’s a pebble  
did you do drugs  
**I just don’t think sometimes I’m sorry**  
diNOSAUR GHOST  
**what??**  
alice said she saw one I got to go

 

4:01 pm  
I WOn fuck ya  
**hello to you too**  
**I’m glad you’re alright**  
**I was worried**  
awwwwwwWWW FUCK  
That’s so sweet  
I love you so much  
You’re nice  
And your voice makes me want to free all the fish in the fish tank  
I want to smell you  
But like not in a Jeff goldblum way  
**excuse me?**  
the serial killer  
**wHAT**  
from Wisconsin  
he died from a head trauma like he was murdered  
he was a murderer and a child molester  
killed 17 people  
he was creepy  
i don’t mean in a creepy way  
**Remus**  
**Baby**  
yAH?  
**you mean Jeffery Dahmer**  
that’s what I said  
**okay**  
**yeah**  
**my mistake**  
**and I want to smell you too in a not creepy way**  
Freaking jeff goldblum  
ruining everything  
**baby**  
**once again...**  
**Jeffery Dahmer**  
JEFFery dah(goldblum)mer  
**nO**  
shhhhh it makes sense in my head  
wait who’s Jeff goldblum  
OH HOT GUY  
**Yes**  
damn  
it sucks he’s a murderer  
**oh my god**  
**I’m done trying**  
noooo no what did I do  
don’t be mad  
I’m sorry  
**wait what I’m not mad**  
**I’m amused**  
**I think you’re adorable**  
okay  
oKIE DOKIE fuck yeah did you hear that Jim suck it  
oh wait  
**are you bullying pebbles**  
you have your hobbies and I have mine  
**uh huh**  
**also what did you win?**  
what  
**you texted me saying you won**  
you  
**awww**  
no wait it was Mario kart  
**of course**  
Alice was very high and cried because she was succumbing to society forcing those Mario characters to drive for our entertainment as we slowly kill them with turtle shell and obstacles  
so she lost by forfeit  
I just wanted to drive Into the colorful boxes  
**James and I are sobbing laughing at how adorable you are remus**  
tell James hEY  
**He says hello**  
whOOOOO  
once I met a boy named James  
**was it James?**  
yeah  
**dear lord**  
I want tacos  
**do you have tacos**  
maybe  
but I can’t get up now  
**why**  
I’m in the way  
**Remus**  
**hunny**

 

4:59 pm  
do you think I’ll end up an awful person and a drug addict like my father? I’m not suppose to do drugs  
because addiction is like in my family  
and he started with weed in high school  
it’s why when you drink it scares me  
but like I’m also not suppose to do drugs on my medicine  
Sirius I’m either going to die or become an awful drug addict who is evil and I’m scared  
**Remus**  
**Baby**  
**Listen to me**  
**Are you paying attention?**  
yes  
*voice memo from punk rocker* :  
*play*  
**“Remus. Baby. You got high once, you won’t do it again, and you’re smart and have a lot of friends on your side who won’t let you end up like him. you’re an incredibly bright and witty boy, no ones letting that go to waste. okay? and for the medicine thing, drink a lot of water tomorrow and it’s not saying you can’t drink or get high once, it’s saying getting high or drunk every weekend would be bad for you. I don’t know about with your HIV medication but just have them run tests next time you go to the doctor. You’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. I promise.”**  
“Hey Remus, it’s James. I agree with Sirius. You’re okay. You’re not turning out like your shitty parent and you’ll be okay. Just relax. Make sure alice is calm, and you two need to just watch tv and go to sleep”  
**“Bye remus.”**  
*end*  
Sirius wtf I’m crying  
**are you really**  
he’s  
Yet  
Yew  
**Take your time**  
Him  
Yellow  
*Yes  
**there you go**  
I love yuo  
Tell James thanks and I changed the name of the pink pebble to James for him  
**he’s honored**  
wHOO  
I’m fireball  
Tired  
Marihhjinna suxks  
**it does suxks**  
alice and I are sleeping  
**you’re sleeping right now?**  
yeah  
**okay. good night**  
WAIT  
**what**  
I was high at 4:20  
**oh my god**  
and you weren’t  
ha  
preppy posh loser  
**Remus you named a pebble and talked about sharks**  
so  
you’re still a loser  
I loVE YOU  
goodnigklt loser xxxxxx  
**good night weirdo**  
wait  
**yes?**  
are you ever going to exist  
**what do you mean?**  
in front of me  
**are we ever going to meet?**  
yeahH I miss you  
I don’t even know you  
I’m so sAD  
**don’t be sad**  
**be excited**  
**because we should meet. soon. football season is almost over and as soon as random practices are done, I’m running to your house every afternoon**  
wHOO yeh  
okay good nit  
**nit**  
xxxxxxxxxxx lOVE YOU  & JAMES  
the pebble and the person  
**James and I love you too**

 

11:30 pm  
*remus saves a voice memo from Sirius sent at 4:58 pm*

 

1:07 am  
**are you awake yet**  
shhhhush  
**have you read our messages from when you were high yet?**  
no  
no and I don’t plan on it until I want to die from embarrassment  
alice and frank are on the phone  
**they’re not embarrassing**  
**they’re cute**  
so, super embarrassing?  
**yeah.**  
great  
wonderful  
**you heard the voice memo though**  
yeah. don’t remember it I took an hour nap after I saved it.  
**you’ll love it**  
**you and James the pebble**  
stop  
I remember bits and pieces and it’s vague but it’s there don’t jog my memory  
**yes sir**  
I’m going to drink a lot of water and then lay on the roof my body feels weird  
**have fun**  
**don’t fall**  
**be safe**  
**think of me**  
**read the messages**

3:11 pm  
I had a doctors appointment and worked today and I’m tired and not dying  
also  
why didn’t I spell marijuana right  
and why did I think Jeff goldblum was a serial killer?  
**my favorite was the dinosaur ghost**  
**do you remember what that was about?**  
ah  
no  
I wish  
**I also liked the part where you said you wanted to smell me**  
okay listen  
I am not above blocking you to avoid embarrassment  
**it’s not embarrassing it’s romantic**  
**you can have feelings**  
gross  
I’ve had enough this week  
**don’t ever change**  
not planning on it   
tell me how your day was yesterday  
**I wasn’t getting high and going to bed at 4 pm**  
cause you’re posh  
**pUNK ROCK**  
**Marlene was making me study**  
oooh education is punk rock  
**don’t bully me**  
usually I am  
but I’m not  
I mean you’ll past your tests any way  
**oh moony you have faith in me**  
**we’ve both come so far**

 

5:48 pm  
**I’m not feeling to great so I might go to bed early. Like 8**  
damn  
like sick  
or something else  
**regulus’ friends in the hall**  
**they got in trouble for beating up some kid  
like that’s the type of crowd my brother hangs out with**  
is the kid okay?  
**yeah. just a busted lip, maybe a bruised rib or two.**  
**a teacher stopped it pretty fast**  
good  
was regulus there?  
**no. It doesn’t matter. It’s still his people**  
sometimes people are too afraid to stick up to their friends  
you don’t know how regulus is feeling or thinking, he could be checking up on that kid  
he could be doing anything  
or he could not be doing any of those things  
but I do know it’s sweet and wonderful that you care about your brother  
however I like you a lot more and you don’t need your day ruined by anyone or anything you can’t control  
**I know**  
**it’s just hard**  
**why didn’t he get out of there like me?**  
Fear maybe? maybe he hasn’t hit his courage point yet. but he’ll get there. I hope. for him and for you because if he’s smart he’ll realize what a good big brother you are and what a good person you are  
okay?  
never go to bed angry  
take your mind off of it first  
**I feel a little better**  
**I’m laying with James and talking to you  
good **  
tell me if you need a distraction  
or need to vent more  
me and my socks with umbrellas in them are ready to listen any time  
**you’re the best**  
**James said he hasn’t seen me smile in two hours**  
**thank you**  
I wish I could see that  
and Of course  
it’s why I’m here 

9:01 pm  
**james and I had to watch a few movies and my phone died**  
**you’re probably going to bed soon so I’m just telling you good night**  
weren’t you going to bed?  
**i feel better**  
**you and james are wonderful**  
I know  
**and you’re super cute**  
good night sirius  
**good night remus**  
**what’s your favorite smell**  
chocolate  
**mines going to be you**  
okay Jeff goldblum go to sleep  
**awww look at you making fun of yourself I’m proud**  
**but also sad cause I was gonna make that joke**  
**any way**  
**good night sugar plum**

2:18 am  
are you awake  
**yes. why are you awake?**  
just am  
**bad dream?**  
really bad dream. 

*incoming call from “punk rocker”*  
*call accepted*  
**“you okay?”**  
“.....kinda. tell me to get up and fix some tea so I’ll do it.”  
**“fix tea if you want. It’ll help you feel better. if I was there I’d fix tea for you”**  
“I wish you were. the cat wishes you were.”  
**“I wish i was. want to talk about the dream?”**  
“no. maybe. I don’t know. half of it I don’t remember, it was mostly the same stuff. i just feel....”  
**“you don’t have to talk if you don’t want. maybe tomorrow. but for now just try to calm your nerves.”**  
“you sound like someone who is about to advise me to use herbs and essential oils and tell me medication doesn’t work”  
**“do you not want me to tell you to calm your nerves?”**  
“of course I do.”  
**“you’re strange, Remus. I like it a lot. I hear tea making.”**  
“yeah.”  
**“you sound like you’re not doing too well..”**  
“I’m just shaking. it’s okay.”  
**“that’s not okay, but alright. Let me tell you about something distracting, did you know Marlene and Dorcas are dating now?”**  
“your friends? that’s cute. I’m glad. how did they ask each other out?”  
**“over a plate of eggs at breakfast”**  
“charming.”  
**“it was rather romantic.”**  
“I can only imagine. Alright. The tea is made, let’s see if we can go upstairs and not break something in my hands.”  
**“I’d prefer the tea because I like talking to you”**  
“I’m putting music on and then I’m retreating into my covers and I’m not leaving for week”  
**“what about to eat? Shower? Work?”**  
“shhhh we’re pretending that doesn’t exist”  
**“Sorry”**  
“All is well. What are you up to?”  
**“Nothing, it’s just James and I awake, he’s texting lily who’s in her dorm and she’s about to go to bed.”**  
“Lucky lily”  
**“You sound tired”**  
“Yeah...I just...I don’t know.”  
**“I’ll be here, if you need to call me again. Leave a lamp on, leave your music on, drink some tea, try and read, pet Shelob, just breathe. Okay?”**  
“yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You’re the best.”  
**“So are you.”**  
“I usually stay awake longer after a dream but I’m doing better lately. and youre comforting. I’m sleeping.”  
**“get some sleep then. I’ll stay on the line until you fall asleep, and I’m here if you need me.”**  
“Yeah?”  
**“Yeah.”**  
“good night.”  
**“good night.”**

 

9:58 am  
*unkown number*  
_hey darling! It’s Lily Evans_

like, James’ lily?

_yeah! How are you_

I’m okay. You? Is everything okay?

_Everything’s good. I have a proposition_

Okay? Go for it.

_Next Friday the boys have a football game and then the three of us are getting ice cream and going to plat mini golf. would you like to come? you’d get home around 1 am._

I don’t want to intrude 

_Remus, Sirius would lose his mind. And James loves you! And from what I hear I think you and I would get along well too. If you think that too intimate than you can bring Alice and I’ll bring Marlene_

Alice actually will be out with frank. Are you sure this is a good idea?

_Of course! I won’t tell sirius in case you want to back out but I’ll tell James that morning._

Great. Great. Thank you so much! You’re the best lily

_I know._

_also, I heard about the other day with frank and the drugs. you feeling better?_

quite better. thank you  
I can’t wait for Friday  
you just made my whole life 

_I’m good like that. text me anytime, I’m always here. well, except right now, I have to get to a class. talk later!! ooooh I can’t wait!_


	11. descented skunks and the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is normal  
>  **Sirius is bold**  
>  _lily is italics_  
>  James is under lined 

11:09 am  
**hey**  
**not to be extremely inappropriate and sexual**  
**but I really wanna kiss your forehead**  
woAH that’s crossing a line  
**Remus oh my gosh**  
you can’t just say “oh not to be extremely sexual and disgusting” and then say something like that  
you sexual fiend  
**why are you like this**  
me??? I’m not the one going around texting people about their desire to kiss their foreheads  
**I’m suppose to be the dramatic bitch!**  
**stop taking my brand**  
well to be fair if I laughed and told you that you were being c*te, then it would only encourage you  
**did you just censor ‘cute’  
possibly **  
also I wasn’t being dramatic, I was being sarcastic  
**both**  
I’ll take it  
**okay I’m going to tell you how this was suppose to go**  
**me : “I wanna kiss your forehead”**  
**you : “oh sirius, you’re so charming and gorgeous and I can’t wait for forehead kisses from you, my perfect man of perfection”**  
**me : “I know baby. I can’t wait to bless you with my affection.”**  
who do you think I am?  
James?  
**No, but you’re dramatic and never what I expect**  
**And I liked your real response a lot more**  
**Keeps me on my toes**  
**Made me laugh**  
sTOP  
you stupid boy  
**that’s a compliment?**  
it is  
**thank you!!!**  
any time.  
and I want one by the way, it’s a requirement  
**what is?**  
**wAIT**  
**A FOREHEAD KISS ??**  
**YOU SCANDALOUS BOY**  
**OKAY GO WORK YOU HAVE A SHIFT**

 

2:16 pm  
I’m on break  
entertain me  
sIRIUS  
wow  
I must find another source of distraction 

 

2:41 pm  
**nO**  
**wait moonshine**  
**I’ll entertain you**  
You have 3 minutes  
That’s too much pressure  
**did you know some beluga whales look like they have human knees so sailors used to confuse them with mermaids**  
yes  
**dAMN IT**  
but I like that that’s where your mind went  
I like the way your brain works  
**awww moony**  
okay you were sufficient, my break was moderately okay  
**thanks**  
I’ll tell you how awful work was today and how tired I am I’m about an hour and a half  
**I literally can’t wait**  
**I mean like I don’t want work to be bad**  
**or for you to be tired**  
**but like I can’t wait for you generally**  
**to come back to me**  
**anyway**

3:40 pm  
**I have practice for football**  
**or as you would say, “sport”**  
**our big game is coming up so practice might run long**  
**but don’t hesitate to blow up my phone**  
**you know I do the same thing**  
**remember that I’m missing you the whole time**

4:08 pm  
wow sometimes I’m convinced your part Shakespeare  
Because your dramatics and love declarations  
I’m not complaining  
so 

4:39 pm  
Once again  
whY is PRACTICE so long 

5:01 pm  
sIRIUS  
I literally died 

7:03 pm  
**you died?**  
**from missing me?**  
**awww**  
no because i dropped my bowl of Mac n cheese  
come on  
**right my bad**  
**did you get more Mac n cheese**  
no  
I cleaned it up and was sad about the Mac n cheese that I just stayed on the floor and played word cross puzzles on my phone  
**....for how long**  
I’m still there  
**Remus**  
my phone is on 1% so I’ll get up eventually  
**dONT DIE AGAIN**  
yeah you’re right I should stop texting you so my phone doesn’t die when I finish my cross word  
**no!**  
**not what I meant**  
**Remus**  
**remmy**  
**moon pie**

7:38 pm  
my phone died  
and then Shelob got her self trapped in a cabinet and started screaming so I had to go find her  
but it’s all good  
**with every passing second I worry more and more about you**  
me?  
one time you almost killed frogs  
**I let THEM GO**  
Yeah sometimes I don’t believe that  
**would you believe me If I told you I am avoiding a food fight just to text you? I’m out in the hall and everything**  
did you start said food fight?  
**no!**  
we’re you involved in why it was started?  
**...possibly**  
**those are just details**  
would you like to go win the food fight?  
**yes**  
**but I like you more**  
I can wait  
there won’t always be flying food  
**OKAY YAY**  
**I LOVE YOU**

8:06  
**there’s milk in my jeans**  
.....nsfw  
**what**  
**wAIT**  
**REMUS JOHN LUPIN**  
**I MEAN FROM THE FOOD FIGHT YOU LITTLE FEIN**  
I mean :///  
someone had to say it  
also I’d advise you to maybe clean the milk out  
**I’m working on it.**  
**I’m in the shower**  
on your phone?  
**I have a case**  
**it’s water proof**  
**I’ll send you a picture to prove it**  
NO  
I don’t need shower pictures to prove anything  
**wait**  
**no no no no no**  
**No I didn’t mean like**  
**‘shower pictures ;),’ I meant like of the details of my phone case**  
**you know this whole conversation is a mess**  
yeah  
your fault  
**it’s not!**  
**you did it**  
no I didn’t  
I would never  
**okay while you continue to lie to yourself, I’m going to wash pears from my hair**  
sounds like a great time  
school with other kids sounds awful 

9:04 pm  
**it’s great**  
what is  
**school**  
**with other children**  
im in an emergency room with lots of other children and all of them scare me  
one of them is 3  
so I couldn’t handle your thing  
**could we back up to emergency room?**  
my blood sugar just keeps getting lower and I got dizzy and I think I passed out. i don’t know I mean it felt like normal when my blood sugar tanks but also different? either way it’s fine and they just need to run !! more!! tests!!  
I hate everyone here  
**I gathered that**  
**is Alice with you?**  
Yeah. my cousin too  
**okay**  
**I know you don’t really love hospitals**  
right  
it’s okay  
**are you sure?**  
I’m fine. I’ll be out within the hour and our insurance is good, even better with my cousin getting promoted. so it’s okay. and they have me hooked up to watch my vitals while we wait just in case.  
**Good**  
**I’m just sort of worried**  
it’s blood sugar  
that’s it  
**that’s what you think it is**  
right.  
**if it’s not, will you tell me?**  
yeah. yeah. It also just might be new medicines or old ones and every little thing you do could make them over react, you know? either way I’m in a hospital right now. they’re looking into it. I’m fine  
**okay. okay. yeah, I know.**  
**still**  
**i just can’t be there**  
**and I think that’s what makes it more nerve racking**  
well good think I don’t need you to be here  
because I’m okay!!!!  
**okay**  
it’s okay  
**what’s alice doing?**  
sitting upside down eating fruit snacks  
why?  
**just making sure no ones panicking**  
just you  
**good**  
**thank you for telling me. I know you probably haven’t always mentioned stuff like this but I promise it doesn’t make me feel bad for you or treat you different. I actually feel better with you telling me like it is**  
good, because with me there might be some awful truths that come along with some things in the future  
**and I’ll be there to feed you chocolate strawberries when it all happens**  
yes. you will be  
also, I’ll text you in a second. a doctor is talking at me  
**tell me how it goes**

9:48 pm  
some things were too high, some things were too low, but mostly my blood sugar and I was slightly dehydrated  
so it wasn’t anything huge  
**good**  
**but not good**  
right  
**drink 7883 glasses of water at the same time**  
that would be called drowning  
**damn it**  
**that’s the opposite of what we want**

9:59 pm  
_hey! it’s lily. everything okay? Sirius seems worried and I know he’s talking to you_  
everything’s okay. thank you. i just had to go to the ER. low levels in my blood  
_oh no. hope you’ll be okay soon_  
I’ll go home later tonight, I just have to watch some stuff. thank you so much for asking  
_of course! James is worried too._  
Well you can tell him I’m okay.  
_will do. and I can’t wait to see you soon! almost 7 days away!!! and I haven’t told James yet because he’ll tell sirius, but I will soon. I’m excited_  
me too  
_so excited_

11:07 pm  
**did you get released**  
yes  
I’m consuming all the water and then I was going to text you  
**all the water?**  
yes  
**even the Oceans?**  
yes. no fishes get homes  
how to combat rising sea levels? take out the sea  
**that’s how that works?**  
100%  
**you seem tired**  
very  
**should I let you sleep?**  
no  
yes  
but I’m not going to, I just bought a book and I’m going to read that so  
**what a nerd**  
no  
just using my ability to read  
**let me ask a good night question before you open your book**  
okay  
**you ready?**  
yes.  
**did you know that..**  
**you’re a nERD ?**  
bye  
**I love it!**

3:36 am  
are you awake  
**yes. go to sleep**  
no. I have 1 chapter left of this book and I don’t want it to end so I’m procrastinating reading it  
I’m sAD it’s so good  
**I’ll change the ending for you**  
**“and they were all okay and everything was nice”**  
**you’re welcome**  
thank you for trying but no  
I have a better idea  
**??**  
pick a breakfast : Crunchwrap, french toast, McMuffin, or a scrambler  
**this is odd**  
**french toast**  
pick lunch : gyro, nachos, burger, chicken club  
**gyro**  
**are you okay**  
pick a snack : fries, potato griller, onion rings, hash browns  
**fries**  
**nO**  
**onion rings**  
**can I ask why you’re wondering**  
you can  
**why are you wondering?**  
I said you could ask, didn’t say I would answer yet  
dinner : McDonald’s, BurgerKing, Chick Fil A, something else  
**something else**  
drink : frappe, soda, water, milkshake  
**water**  
last question  
are you ready  
**yes**  
dessert : cookie, sundae, frosty, or no dessert  
**sundae**  
wow  
**what?**  
wow  
**Remus**  
so it was for a buzzfeed quiz  
**oh no**  
and you had to pick food and it would tell you what color your soulmates eyes are  
**mhm**  
and it said blue based on your food choices  
I don’t have blue eyes  
James doesn’t have blue eyes  
I guess you’re just lying to all of us about your feelings  
**oh my god**  
**Remus its a buZZFEED QUIZ**  
mhmmmm and?  
**what is up with you and buzzfeed quizzes?**  
they’re magic.  
**they’re wrong**  
no  
don’t think so  
**get some sleep**  
you just want me to go away because I’m not the one with the blue eyes, right?  
**I want your eyes**  
that was horrifying to read  
borderline murderous  
**yes I see that now**  
I won’t be able to see when you take my eyes  
**well that doesn’t effect my vision, does it?**  
wow  
**don’t worry I’ll still love you**  
yeah I know you will  
okay I’m going to go finish my book now  
say hey to the bitch with the blue eyes for me xx  
**note to self : don’t text Remus back at 3 am ever**  
**and enjoy your book!**  
**tell me how it ends**  
**good night xx**

 

11:27 am  
**are you awake yet**  
shhnskekelwl  
**I don’t speak remus**  
*shhhhhh  
**ah. text me when you’re awake?**  
Yshox  
**you didn’t even try**  
*yes  
**lmfao. you’re the cutest**

1:21 pm  
it was awful!!! awFUL! they were happy! those girls were happy! and everything was gay and nice and they were going on a road trip together and it was going to be a great summer but one of the girls had homophobic parents and they said they’d pay for her medical school (WHICH WAS HER DREAM) if she moved away to go to a medical school far away from her girlfriend (IT WAS HER DREAM SCHOOL) and the girl went! she went with her parents because if she didn’t go to medical school then she would have unfilled dreams, no job, nothing. and when she left it was so sad because they both just deserved to be happy but it’s good she put herself first but not good because that freaking sad catch 22 of it all  
that was how I felt at the end of my book  
I meant to send it last night but I didn’t I slept  
**that sounds awful**  
it was  
everything is sad  
**but I promised I’d change the ending for you right?**  
yes  
**okay. ready? wait let me just call you**

*incoming call from ‘Sirius xx’*  
*accepted*

 **“hey mooncakes.”**  
“hey.”  
**“I can hear you smile, you know. that’s cute”**  
“shh. aren’t you suppose to be undoing a tragedy in my life?”  
**“right. of course. so, what were the girls’ names?”**  
“keirsten and beth.”  
**“great, easy to remember. so..which one left for medical school?”**  
“keirsten.”  
**“alright. So..keirsten and beth go their separate ways right? keirstens parents are happy, keirsten is being all smart and thriving in medical school. okay? once she gets adjusted to the hectic school life she meets another girl. it’s all nice and fine but keirsten just thinks about beth. all the time. so she calls beth. and beth can’t just fly down to go see her, so she calls her every night for weeks. they talk all the time. Beth starts coming to visit over holidays, she’s gone by the time keirstens parents come around to visit. the day keirsten graduates, she cries. because beth is in the audience. they get engaged. then they get married. she got her medical school degree and her fiancé and she’s loudly gay and doesn’t give a single frick. the end.”**  
“it’s almost perfect.”  
**“almost?!”**  
“I always hate that waiting period. like she left. there was time where they weren’t together and they thought they never could be.”  
**“but that makes the reuniting better.”**  
“no. it makes the waiting tragic.”  
**“you’re unromantic.”**  
“because I don’t believe in separation?”  
**“fine, you’re pathetically romantic.”**  
“no.”  
**“yes!”**  
“no I’m not.”  
**“if you say so.”**  
“i do say so. stop stressing me out. I’m doing home work.”  
**“I know, I can hear your laptop keyboard clicking. what a nerd.”**  
“at least I’m doing my home work.”  
**“hey Remus.”**  
“yes?”  
**“there’s going to be time for us. lots of waiting and not being able to see each other. is that going to be hard for you?”**  
“probably. but it won’t be that bad. we live a lot closer than across the country like those girls did.”  
**“right. and I promise once I’m not swamped with football this semester...the last game is this week. we can meet up any day after that. the following weekend there’s a menu of new chocolate desserts going up at-“**  
“-Amrakie’s cafe. I know.”  
**“yeah. so, after Friday, that’ll be the first thing we talk about.”**  
“okay.”  
**“if you’re ready.”**  
“I am. I will be.”  
**“I should go. football practice, you know? finish your assignment without distractions. think about me.”**  
“I don’t want to get a headache.”  
**“I think it’s worth it. talk to you soon, Re.”  
“yeah. thank you for fixing my book.”**  
**“any time.”**

*call ended*

5:15 pm  
I got an almond macaroon candle and it smells so good I want to die  
**that’s an aggressive stance to take**  
have you smelt it?  
**no**  
okay then  
**things to do when we meet : 1. feed you chocolate strawberries 2. Meet Shelob 3. Smell the candle**  
yeah it’s a date  
**wait**  
what  
**one day**  
**after we’ve met a few times**  
**I’ll be able to visit your house !**  
yes  
**wOW**  
**I’ll be able to meet Alice**  
no  
she’ll ruin my reputation.  
**she could literally tell me that you burned her house down and I’d be like, ‘ah. classic Remus’**  
no I mean worse stuff  
like tell you that I have...  
feelings  
**oh my god**  
**hey guess what?**  
what?  
**I already knew that**  
no, you just assumed  
**you literally told me a candle smelt so good that you wanted to die. you have very aggressive feelings**  
listen  
I don’t like this conversation  
I’m going to franks house  
**what**  
**no**  
**to fight him?**  
he isn’t there  
alice and I are feeding his moms rabbit while they’re away  
**where did they go**  
his parents had a work trip and he went with  
I think he knows to give Alice a little bit of space  
**he did drUG YOU**  
not on purpose  
but he is a bit of an ass, yes  
**tell Alice she deserves better**  
she knows  
but she also likes him, and there’s a lot more good to her.  
**stop being level headed and smart**  
one of us had to be  
**no! not true**  
**that’s not in any rule book**  
**the best duos don’t have someone level headed**  
an example please?  
**Bonnie and Clyde**  
**Romeo and Juliet**  
**all over dramatic and didn’t think**  
they all died  
**but they had fun**  
Romeo and Juliet didn’t  
**okay you know what go feed your rabbit**  
okay 

6:58 pm  
never ask me to watch a rabbit  
**what happened?**  
he fled  
**oh no**  
**Remus**  
I found him and I fed him carrots and we’re friends now but Alice scared him earlier and he got outside  
but now it’s okay  
that half an hour was absolute hell though  
I would’ve felt so bad for losing a rabbit  
**yeah I couldn’t be friends with a rabbit danger causer**  
you could’ve worded that smoother  
but also,,, the frongs???  
**stop bringing them up**  
**they’re safe now**  
so is the rabbit  
**but it’s more recent**

8:22 pm  
goodnight I’ve had a long day  
**letting rabbits escape?**  
it wears you out 

*incoming call from ‘Sirius xx’*  
*accepted*  
**“I’m on a roof of one of the buildings”  
“can I ask why?”**  
**“laying with James. we were talking. I just wanted to talk to you real quick before you went to bed. just cause we didn’t talk too much today.”**  
“yeah. sorry about that.”  
**“no, it’s okay. really. just didn’t see why I shouldn’t call you if I have the chance”**  
“good way of thinking. I like that.”  
**“yeah? are you telling me to call more?”**  
“you know when I heavily imply something, it doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud.”  
**“sure it does. you know you can call me, right?”**  
“you’re busier than me, around more people. I don’t know when you can pick up. and you’d answer in the middle of class if I called.”  
**“I would.”**  
“I don’t want you to do that.”  
**“what a shame Remus, that would be a fun call.”**  
“You’d get in trouble, id be a short call.”  
**“size doesn’t matter.”**  
“I’m going to sleep”  
**“James laughed at my joke.”**  
“you and James have the sense of humor of 12 year olds.”  
**“yeah. yeah we do.”**  
“it was good to talk to you. even if you are a bit of an idiot”  
**“you mean it in a good way, right?”**  
“of course.”  
**“that’s all that matters. good night, sleep well.”**  
“don’t stay on the roof too long and get eaten by birds.”  
**“is that something I should be concerned about?”**  
“probably. bye.”

*call ended*

8:35 pm  
**now I’m worried about birds!**

 

9:27 am  
**moRNING**  
**Remus**  
**moonbeam**

11:11 am  
**hey beautiful wonderful baby**  
**r e m u s**  
**remmy**

12:44 pm  
**shOULD I BE WORRIED**  
no  
it’s fine  
**yOURE ALIVE**  
no  
**damn it**  
I need to go to work  
**in 40 minutes**  
I’m so fucking tired  
**you’re not talking about sleep deprivation tired are you**  
no  
it’s just a bad day  
I’m sorry I didn’t even talk to Alice this morning  
and I didn’t want to be such a dick  
**you haven’t been? it’s okay!**  
and I meant to text you when I woke up but I guess I didn’t  
everything’s foggy  
and fucked  
**well power through work and then you have a break from work for a while. I know you get tired and frustrated but once you get home after you can lay there and do nothing**  
**and cry**  
**you can call me and cry**  
**I’ll talk**  
**you won’t have to**  
thanks  
I’m just annoyed and it’s too much  
I’ll text you later  
If that’s okay  
I might not though  
**it’s fine**  
**I promise**  
**Talk to me when ever you want. focus on you, yeah?**  
**I hope work goes easy**  
**and I hope you see a dog on your way there**

3 : 38 pm  
I’m tired of things being about me  
I hate it  
especially when it’s because I’m upset  
so can we talk about you  
**I like talking about you**  
Sirius  
**but I also like talking about me**  
great  
**there’s not really been too many changes, haven’t really had a bad angry day in a long time, I’m doing pretty nice. James and I aren’t trying to stress ourselves out with working out and practicing.  
good **  
I’m sure the game will be good  
if that’s how you sport talk  
**it was very motivational. thank you.**  
**oh!!!!**  
**guess what I’m doing.**  
?  
**I’m above a class**  
what  
**in the ceiling**  
**I have a descentified skunk with me**  
**I named her Deborah**  
?????  
1\. please don’t make me smile when I’m sad  
2\. what the fuck  
**Deborah says you should smile 24/7**  
can I ask where Deborah is going  
**well I wAS going to carefully descend her into a certain classroom but she got out of her cage**  
**so now I’m just kinda following her around and chillin.**  
**I have some berries that she’s eating**  
Sirius  
you’re great  
what are you suppose to do with Deborah now  
**well I don’t know what I’m above right now and I don’t wanna drop down in a girls bathroom, that would be rude**  
a true gentlemen  
**well it would be rude**  
it would be.  
**I also lost James**  
in the ceiling??  
**yeah. he went to go find where the vents above McG’s office is but I probably shouldn’t have moved around**  
what if the vents break??  
**they won’t! I promise it’s vert structures and well built old building**  
**I heAR JAMES**  
**he’s singing Scooby doo**  
**I must go**  
okay  
tell me where Deborah ends up  
make sure she gets safe  
tell me how much trouble you get in 

4:29 pm  
**2 days of detention only because they can’t prove it was me and James**  
**also yes we made sure Deborah was safe after she terrified a whole bunch of kids !!**  
a solid purpose  
**I’d like to think so**

6:52 pm  
**detention is boring**  
that might be the point  
**it’s a stupid point**  
very  
don’t get caught any more  
**that’s fun though**  
your words make my brain hurt  
**is that your way of flirting with me??**  
I’m taking a nap  
**feel better**

8:13 pm  
I’m sorry I’m literally boring and awful today  
but sometimes I’m going to be like that  
i genuinely just can’t think and every small thing is making it worse  
but besides that I’ve been listening to Forrest Gump by frank ocean for the last 4 days on repeat and it has nothing to do with me being sad  
just it’s a good song  
you should listen to it too 

9:03 pm  
**I did!!**  
**it was great**  
**and cute and super gay. thank you**  
**ill always think of you when I hear that song now**  
**which is okay. and sorry, I was with Alice and Dorcas**  
**and you’re asleep and I know your bad days can last weeks and that’s okay, don’t prioritize going out of your way to talking to me. I know I’m not a chore to me, I also know when you feel awful, you don’t want to talk. just know I’ll still be here when you feel better or when you need me. sleep well.**

3:43 am  
good morning apparently because my internal clock is a bITCH  
also I don’t necessarily feel great but I don’t feel so heavy in my brain, so talking is fine. it’s okay. thank you. it won’t always go this easy though  
I hope you know that 

4:31 am  
**I do**  
**and it’s okay**  
go to sleep wtf  
**I just woke up**  
**I’m going jogging!**  
gross  
**I’m going with James**  
you’ll both smell like boy sweat? more gross  
**well what are you doing**  
I’m watching Shelob chase her tail  
**what**  
**cats do that?**  
mine does  
at 3 or 4 am most mornings  
it’s what the new witching hour is  
**I’m so sorry are you being for real**  
about Shelob? yes  
she’s a weird ass cat  
she brings me pebbles  
and she likes to play with strawberry leaves  
**I am having trouble processing this**  
you don’t even know your own child  
what a shame  
**I’m not surprised though. you’re both pretty weird**  
you’re going running at 4 am  
**a lot of people do that**  
yeah that’s why I don’t talk to a lot of people  
**I’m just lucky then?**  
shouldn’t you be running  
**I’m putting on clothes**  
**do you want me to go jogging without clothes on?**  
that’s illegal  
**so?**  
it’s rude and could make people uncomfortable  
**fine. I’ll put clothes on**  
thank you

5:20 am  
**I almost ran into a lake because it was dark**  
don’t you go jogging a lot?  
**yes**  
in the same place?  
**yeah around the school, on the paths.**  
so you know where the lake is?  
**....yes**  
has it moved since you last went running?  
**no**  
**but listen here smart ass...**  
so how on earth did you almost run into it,,, if you knew it was there??  
almost tripping on a tree branch I get. but a lake? I mean those generally are easier to remember where they are  
**LISTEN**  
**I didn’t come here for criticism**  
what did you come here for  
**love**  
I love criticism  
**damn**  
I also love sleeping  
I’m taking a nap again  
**You...just woke up**  
**you know what? just...**  
**dream of me**  
falling into a lake? okay  
**as long as I’m there it’s okay**

8:59 am  
**in Finland there’s this thing called ‘national sleepy head day’**  
**and basically the last person awake in the** **family gets water poured over their head**  
**that would be you**  
**every morning**

9:17 am  
we’re not in Finland  
if you come near me with a bucket of water in the mornings evER  
I’ll remove your pancreas  
**oh**  
**that’s**  
**you don’t need a pancreas to survive**  
yeah I don’t wanna kill someone  
what’s wrong with you?  
suggesting murder at 9 am?? shame on you  
**but**  
**wait a second**  
**how do you always do this to me?**  
because you suggested waking me up with water  
that’s just barbaric  
**I’m telling James he has to make two drama queen crowns**  
**oh my gosh wait no that would be cute**  
**which once again can be whenever after football season ends**  
**I wish I could just walk over the second our last game ends**  
technically you could  
but you probably shouldn’t  
**right. Unfortunately**  
what’s unfortunate is i forgot to eat so now I have to get breakfast in the cafe at work and it smells like coffee  
**just get the food and then eat outside**  
the suns outside  
**yeah**  
too early for sun  
**aren’t you walking to work?? In the sun?**  
shut up  
I have to go  
**go enjoy the smell of coffee**  
enjoy me working so I can’t talk to you  
**no!!!**  
**sad**

1:30 pm  
so  
I was working right  
**right**  
**please tell me there’s drama**  
and we have a whole isle where it’s sales. like it’s buy one get half off or buy three get one free like there’s always a section with three different sales on the books on those three shelves  
**okay.**  
**like one shelf is one sale, the next shelf is the second sale, and then the third?**  
right!  
and it’s always been the same three  
**okay**  
are you with me  
**yes**  
last week one of the sales changed  
**oh no**  
and keep in mind there’s huge red signs above the shelves and stickers on each book for what sale it belongs too  
**smart & cute **  
right?? so any way  
to the story  
this boy who’s used to the old sales I guess called a worker over to the isles to bitch about the worker being selfish and just wanting more money by changing sales so people get less of a bargain  
**what**  
**the**  
**fuck**  
like?? we didn’t all sit around in a circle and go “hey bitches less ruin people’s day and steal their money. I have an idea on how.” like  
we were tOLD TO DO THAT  
**I imagine even if you weren’t told to do that, that it’s the persons choice to partake in the sale and the purchase and if they had a problem, they could leave**  
exactly  
oh my god  
I mean I know working in retail or as a server is hell, but a book store??? a book store?? we don’t take orders. we just shelf things and stack things and organize things  
**and get yelled at by rude people**  
apparently  
I’m so stressed  
If it had been me that got yelled at there would’ve been bickering and I would’ve came home and angry cried but mostly been a bitch  
**yeah**  
**I get that**  
**you’re nice but you hate stupid rude people**  
everyone should hate rude people  
the world would be nicer because no one would be rude because everyone would hate it  
**working for people sounds like it sucks**  
it does  
**if I was there I would massage your shoulders while you vented**  
don’t tempt me to drop my address and make you stay out of school for a week  
**awww moony**  
I need a bath and 42828 pieces of chocolate  
**well then go take a bath and eat 40,000+ pieces of chocolate**  
okay

5:07 pm  
I had four  
**four what?**  
Four pieces of chocolate  
**that’s not even close to 40,000**  
it’s closer than zero  
**that’s very true**  
valid point  
**I’m eating apple pie and listening to a heated debate of gothic fiction at the table behind me**  
a heated debate  
on...gothic fiction?  
**yes**  
Interesting  
glad to see passion wherever passion is  
**I’m passionate about this about pie**  
**it’s warm**  
**and apple-y**  
I sure hope an apple pie is apple-y  
if it wasn’t we’d have a problem  
**it taste like if heaven was wrapped in cinnamon**  
once when Alice was 4 years old she got told that her baby sitter died but she heard her parents whispering about how her baby sitter went to jail and like a week later, there was a show on tv about criminal rates in Australia being low, and so she thought death meant jail and jail was death and she had been taught when you died you went to heaven, so until alice was 6, she thought Australia was heaven  
basically I’m telling you cinnamon on heaven wouldn’t be nice  
you’d eat a lot of spiders  
**wait**  
**why did her baby sitter go to jail**  
no one ever told us  
**and you thought I was the one with the weird stories**  
it’s not my story  
it’s Alice’s  
**my brain is stressed but that’s also the funniest thing I’ve ever read**  
I’ll tell her that at dinner  
Which I should get ready to leave for now  
**have fun**  
**tell her the place you guys are eating at is like heaven but say it in an Australian accent**  
that’s mean  
but okay 

7:04 pm  
she pushed me off the couch when we got home  
because I made the Australia joke  
**I would mock her forever**  
**you with your weep woop cars**  
**you two are the stupidest smart people**  
and you and James are the smartest stupid people  
**thank you!!!**  
**you’re so nice**  
**I love you**  
nO  
**no?**  
no not you  
I was robbed by Alice’s dogs and I typed what I meant to say to them and I said to them what I meant to say to you  
**what did they rob you of?**  
my socks  
they have pumpkins on them  
and they’re fuzzy  
and now they’re gone  
well one of them is  
**fuzzy pumpkin socks**  
you have a problem with that  
**I think it’s adorable**  
what’s not adorable is I have to go  
**track down some dogs?**  
yES  
wish me luck  
**good luck! please wear pumpkin socks for me one day**  
**it’ll be hot**  
you’re delusional  
**yeah**  
**a little bit**

9:59 pm  
**I’m assuming you’re in bed**  
**I’m getting in the shower**  
**so good night darling moon baby**  
I’m not going to bed aCTUALLY  
I was sitting up with my cousin talking about something I’m doing tomorrow  
**which is??**  
...i hope you have a nice shower!  
**that’s evasive**  
I don’t want to stress you out because tomorrow’s your game day so I’ll tell you after  
**is it bad?**  
no  
**are you okay?**  
yES I’m fine! I’m sort of excited. I think. it’s good. I think. I’m more excited about your game though.  
**really?**  
yes! it’s a big deal for you. go shower and get to sleep  
**okay. good night. you’re the best**  
yeah  
good night x  
**gOOD NIGHT EVEN MORE**  
go shower  
**okay**

11:28 pm  
**we were talking about meeting earlier and like,,**  
**what if when we meet, you don’t like me?**  
I will  
don’t be stupid  
and I’m the one who’s suppose to worry about stuff like that  
you’re not lame enough too  
so shush  
**but Remus really**  
**I have limits over the phone**  
**I can’t be annoyingly touchy feely**  
**I am cLINGY**  
can I get real for a minute  
**yes!**  
unless I’m really angry in a depressive episode, I want someone clingy. I’m a touch starved sad gay. I don’t mind clingy.  
**okay okay okay**  
**yes**  
**I mean not yes because I hate that you’re a sad sad gay**  
**I don’t hate that you’re gay**  
**I really like that part**  
Sirius  
**I’m stressed**  
we haven’t even planned when we’ll meet  
do you want to talk more about this kind of stuff after your game?  
**yes**  
**no**  
**no**  
**I’m not usually this stressed about a game**  
**it’s the last one of the season**  
**and also I didn’t sleep last night because I just couldn’t and the night before that I didn’t sleep that long because I was getting a skunk and I’ve had almost 2 energy drinks today**  
oh no  
you dumb boy  
go to sleep please  
**are you going to sleep**  
I’m in the bath so that would be a bad idea  
I’d drown  
**ahhawww**  
**sorry I was thinking about you in the bath**  
**WAIT**  
**NOT LIKE THAT**  
**like being all relaxed**  
**wait no**  
**I’m just thinking about how it’s nice that you’re chilling out and relaxed and calm and warm**  
Sirius  
**yes**  
please go to bed  
**okie dokie**  
good night  
**good night remus x**

 

9:30 am  
game day!!  
**ah**  
**game day**  
**I feel better about it**  
**like I’m chill**  
**sort of**  
be chill  
you’ll be fine  
just use the ball  
however you use it!  
it’ll be great!  
**oh remus**  
**pleaSE be a sport commentator without learning more about sports**  
stop bullying me I’m trYING  
**I know and I love it more than anything**

 

12:07 pm  
hey lily  
_yes Remus?_  
what do I wear tonight?  
_Well they’ll be in jeans and a t shirt after_  
so we’ll just go from the game to get food?  
_no, we are stopping by the potters for them to shower and change, and I’m also wearing jeans and a shirt. probably a light jacket._  
_Sirius will most likely wear his leather one or letterman one_  
he has a letterman jacket??  
_yes. he and James both_  
jocks  
_trust fund jocks_  
yes!!! lmao I’m glad someone’s else is on my side  
_please please can we tease them about it?_  
100% yes, that’s going to be the best part  
_ahh!! I literally cannot wait to meet you pumpkin. call me once you get there around 6 and I’ll come find you and bring you to the stands_  
okay! thank you so much

1:19 pm  
alice found james’ face book and then yours and saw pictures of you and I won’t look but she wanted me to tell you something  
**what?**  
she says you look very nice  
those weren’t her exact words  
I’m paraphrasing  
**tell her I bet she’s hot too xx**  
she says thanks  
**you’re way hotter though. no offense to Alice**  
**I can feel it**  
mhm  
maybe you hit your head at practice yesterday  
**I did!**  
**but not on the ball. on james’ head**  
oh dear lord  
**no one died**  
**or got a concussion**  
did they even send you to a nurse? or was it fine?  
**it was fine**  
**I mean we’re functioning**  
aren’t you meant to be in class?  
please tell me you’re not in a ceiling again.  
**nope! in class**  
**finished my work**  
did you?  
Shelob doesn’t believe you  
**yes she does**  
you don’t even know her middle name, don’t speak for her  
**you gave your cat a middle name?**  
wow  
you’re hurting her feelings  
**nO SHELOB IM SORRY**  
**it was more of a “wow remus you’re adorable,” not a “a cat with a middle name is weird,’ I promise**  
you’re on thin ice  
**forgive me**  
only if you give me 34 minutes to finish my home work  
**that’s oddly specific??**  
**I have to go anyway**  
**next class and then practice and then the game!!**  
**I can definitely talk to you before practice though.**  
talk to you then, Shelob says we need a nap  
**good night x**

 

4:00 pm  
hey mate!!! it’s James!! I’ll see you tonight! Text me if you have any doubts or concerns at all. I’m here! Wear something hot ;)  
wow  
you know what  
at this point I’m coming for the ice cream  
I was joking. Sirius will think you’re hot no matter what  
Thank you. But he’s never seen me.  
I have. And I know my man.   
**our man.  
he can be your man.  
also thank you for letting me intrude on tonight, are you sure he won’t mind? I don’t want to spring it on him.  
Remus.   
think about Sirius for two seconds.  
Okay. You’re right. It’ll be okay. Thank you so much. Shelob says hey.  
Tell Shelob to make sure you don’t overthink too much before you come over to the school tonight   
wait should I have someone drop me off or should I drive?  
drop you off. I’ll drive us around and then you home whenever you want to go   
You sure?  
Yes Remus i offered   
Right. Sorry. Hope your Friday goes well! Good luck on the sport tonight. I’ll see you later  
“the sport”  
see you soon dork x

4:23  
**distract me**  
**I have nerves**  
earlier when I took a nap I dreamt of a snake who got around by being tied to a balloon and he just floated because he was tired of being on the ground  
his name was pistachio macraymond cornelius  
**excuse me**  
he was just a small part of the dream  
like it was me and people at work just working and I don’t remember most of it but there was a loud girl at work I had to ring up and she had crying children  
when I left,, my boss was like “look out for pistachio. he’s floating around our part of town today,”  
and I was like “cool.”  
**are you okay**  
no  
**pistachio**  
**macraymond**  
**cornelius**  
**the floating snake**  
LISTEN it just happened.  
**no no no it’s cute**  
**it definitely distracted me**  
**god imagine floating snakes**  
well pistachio was chill  
**yeah like they were all just laid back and floated around**  
what if a balloon popped and a snake fell on you  
**no!**  
**bad idea**  
**don’t say that**  
okay my bad  
imagine tWO balloons popped and two snakes fell on you  
**REMUS STOP**  
sorry  
:/  
**are you?**  
no.  
**I figured**  
three balloons?  
**iM GOING TO PRACTICE**  
okie dokie  
have fun  
sport that ball!  
—

5:58 pm  
*calling Lily Evans*

 _“hey darling! where are you?”_  
“I just got out of the car. I’m in the front of the school.”  
_“what are you wearing?”_  
“uh..jeans? they’re a little ripped actually and a sweater. it’s grey. I’m the only one standing still on the phone”  
_“hold I’m walking through the- oh my gosh! I see you. but I was watching practice in the upstairs gym so I’m still inside. you’re by the curb. oh my gosh! you’re adorable. you have curls!”_  
“uh yeah. yeah. and thank you? there’s a lot of people walking around for after school hours.”  
_“yeah. game night. you sound nervous.”_  
“not used to school. the people.  
_“well I’m about two seconds away so I’m hanging up now. hey-“_

*call ended*

“hey! nice to meet you! come here!” the girl with the red hair said as her and Remus hugged. Remus felt pressure relieve as he wasn’t alone anymore and he was with someone who knew where they were going. 

“so, this is a normal people school. the foot ball field is behind C building, it’s right there. it’s a little walk but there’s side walk. the game starts in about half an hour. wanna go sit?” she asked smiling, there was a calmness in her green eyes that was incredibly warming. it didn’t feel like she was being fake happy, it was convenient that Remus was met by someone so nice. he nodded in response.

“yeah, yeah. sounds good. and can I ask you something?” remus inquired as he fell in step next to her, “of course.” she said nodding 

“can you explain football to me? in like 20 seconds. I just want the essentials. I know nothing.” he informed her, which caused her to laugh. it was infections and Remus felt at ease. even once they got to the field and talked until the game started.

 

6:32  
**the game starts soon**  
I know!! good luck!  
**I’m literally on the field. like standing under the score posts. James seems chill**  
oh you’re the one on your phone. nice hair  
**?**  
find lily  
**okay?**  
you see her?  
**yes.**  
look next to her.  
**o**  
**Oh**  
**OHMy**  
**IS THAT YOU??**  
**YOURE LAUGHINF AT ME**  
**JAMES IS LAUGHING**  
**REMUS!!**  
yes it’s me! now go play your sport. good luck. I’ll be here when you’re done!!! x


	12. Rose Scented Emotional Support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Sirius is bold**  
>  Remus is normal 
> 
> I know I’m awful at writing when it’s not just text fic format but bare with me because I had to include the scene where they meet

yes it’s me! now go play your sport. good luck. I’ll be here when you’re done!!! x  
•  
Remus sent the text to Sirius before finally sliding his phone onto his back pocket. He watched as Sirius grabbed james’ shoulders and James laughed. Remus turned to Lily.

“Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want to freak him out.” Remus said to her, Lily smiled at him. It comforted him without words, she was the type of person you felt like you could automatically just be yourself around. “Don’t be silly, he could lose the game, break an arm, and still be fine. He won’t remember most the game because he’ll be focused on you after. That doesn’t mean you’re distracting him. He’ll still play well, you’re alright.” She insisted and squeezed remus’ hand. He nodded and thanked her. The two of them talked on and off as the game progressed, remus still didn’t even grasp the basics by the middle of the game. 

Still, he cheered and shouted when Lily did too. He even managed to get looked at when James and Sirius waved to them during the break, Remus didn’t pay too much attention to it and was just glad his voice got a momentary break. 

When the game ended, Remus’ side of the bleachers was over the moon, James and Sirius’ team had won and everyone filed out the bleachers still shouting. Remus turned to Lily in a moment of panic upon realizing he was about to actually meet Sirius,  
“what if he hates my voice?” Remus asked the girl, who he could probably call a new best friend, seeing as they held hands and screamed for James and Sirius for the last few hours.  
“what?” lily inquired as she raised an eyebrow, indicating she thought it was a stupid question.  
“well, I mean...if you think someone’s voice is annoying you’re not going to want to spend time with them and I don’t genuinely know what I sound like and-“  
“Remus, hasn’t he spoken to you on the phone?”  
“Well I suppose, but it’s different.”  
“Remus. Your voice is fine, your voice is perfect. Would you please breathe, I promise he’s okay with everything about you.” Lily assured him. She put her hands on the sides of his face and looked him in the eye. Remus had to take a breath and focus on the noises around him, the air whirling by and chilling him to his nerves. Focusing on what’s around him calmed him down and brought him back to the present, it allowed him to not spiral into a meltdown.  
“I think I’m just nervous Lily. I’m shaking.”  
“You’ll be- oh darling you are shaking. Are you alright?” She questioned.  
Remus nodded before taking a few more breaths. “is he... is he as nice as I think he is?”  
“Yeah, he’s the nicest asshole I’ve ever met. Come on, I’ll hold your hand if you’re too nervous to let him hug you. I know it’s a lot, but the games over and we should go meet them, okay? We can run away if you’re not up to it and I swear he’ll forgive you.” She assures Remus as he tried not to grin and Lily’s suggestion.  
“I think I’ll be fine, thank you so much by the way. One day you need to meet my best friend alice because I was talking about you earlier today and she thinks you’re the shit.” Remus informed lily as they completely ignored the stairs that went next to the bleachers and took turns jumping from seat to seat down to the ground.  
“Aww, Sirius has mentioned her before. She’s the neighbor, right? I think her and I could take over the world together. Doesn’t that terrify you?” Lily asked, extending a hand to remus to lead him through the people.  
“Terrify me? I think it’s hotter than when Will Smith wore that crop top in the Fresh Prince of Bell Air.” He retorted, grinning as Lily threw her head back to laugh. He felt her squeeze his hand a little tighter and the smile she gave him put him at ease.

“That’s like-“ “remus!” James’ voice interrupted and Remus’ instinctively smiled to match James’ wide grin as they hugged each other. they held onto each other’s arms as they pulled away from the hug, “it’s great to see you!” James beamed, “you too! Apparently you scored the last...goal? I don’t know what it’s called, either way, good job!” Remus told the boy, and when James laughed you could see it in his eyes, and he squeezed remus’ arms a little tighter when he laughed the same way Lily had earlier. “Yeah, I’m glad you’re learning sport terminology. Thank you, by the way and to be ever so official, remus, meet Sirius. Sirius, here’s the quote unquote ‘love of your life,’ according to you about three minutes ago.” James announced as he stepped back, Sirius rolled his eyes without actually rolling his eyes- which Remus thought was a talent he found rather impressive. The smile Sirius has with the eye roll though, that made remus a lot more nervous then he was moments ago as well as more calm, which made no sense to the poor boy but he went with it.

“you’re an ass James, don’t make him uncomfortable.” Sirius said, “you’ve said those words to me before, you are aware of that right?” Remus asked, and Sirius finally met his eyes. “Well go bring the car around, yeah? See you in a few minutes.” James announces and patted Sirius on the back as him and lily walked away. 

When Sirius hugged remus, he smelt like James did mostly- like someone who just played sports, however where James has an underlying smell of coffee, Sirius had one of roses. “I can’t believe you three...you all kept this from me. I think it’s pretty impressive but also upsetting. How dare you?” He asked remus dramatically as he pulled back. Remus couldn’t not roll his eyes, “I’m tragically sorry, next time I’ll just refrain from seeing you.”  
“Don’t even joke like that.” Sirius teased as he stepped back to pick a piece of fuzz off remus’ shoulder.  
“You know you did good too, with all the sport stuff tonight. Tomorrow I won’t have a voice because I actually partook in the shouting every time your stupid team won a stupid goal.” Remus had a small smile on his face when he spoke, and Sirius tried to focus on the words Remus said instead of how cute remus looked.  
“Oh look at you! Getting involved in the sporty crowd, cheering and shit. you also enjoyed how great I looked in the uniform, yeah? I mean my legs look great in it.”

“Excuse you, but I was busy focusing on the sport that was taking place. I don’t joke when it comes to football, everyone who knows me knows that.”

“So....that’s a yes, you did enjoy the uniform?” Sirius asked trying not to laugh.

“Shut up, I personally thought James was gorgeous.”

“Sorry, just your whole, ‘I don’t joke about sports because I love them,’ almost made me interrupt you but I fought the urge to laugh.” Sirius said as a horn beeped,  
James leaned out of the passenger door, “hey hot stuff 1 and hot stuff 2, get in the freaking car!” 

Remus saw people who were leaving the stadium look but he didn’t care that much, Sirius scoffed and lead remus to the car.

•  
With James and Sirius needing to quickly shower and change, they went to the Potters before going out to dinner. The tall pristine outside sort impressed Remus significantly. “Yeah, they’re posh.” Lily whispered with a smile on her face. “What was that?” Sirius turned, and Lily and Remus both shrugged.  
The inside was just as royal as Remus imagined it to be, but it had much more of a homey feel. The marble aesthetic was gorgeous, but the multitude of family pictures- including the one of James and Sirius covered in yellow and blue paint grinning with a scowling teacher behind them- is what remus really likes about the house. “We’ll be right back, okay? Make yourselves at home. There’s bathrooms down that hall and upstairs and there’s the kitchen, and we’re still good for Chinese and then ice cream?” James asked, Lily and Remus nodded. As soon as James and Sirius disappeared up the stairs there was loud whispering and audible rough housing that happened between the boys as they ran to their rooms.

 

Sirius was worried about leaving Remus with Lily, knowing how nervous he can get with people. He wasn’t that worried any more when he could hear Lily and Remus’ laughter erupt from all the way down stairs. James was done showering first and he cane down stairs pulling a shirt on, when his eyes met Remus’, James winked. “Ew.” Remus said sarcastically.  
“Don’t harass him.” Lily shot at James who smiled, “he loves me Lily, you don’t understand the type of connection he and I have, right remus?” James teases as he opened the fridge and grabbed three waters. “Sorry, your connection has been disabled. Please try again later.” Remus replied, reading the Television screen. Lily laughed louder than she had all night and James tried not to. “Cute. That was real funny.” James retorted. 

Remus looked over when he heard footsteps down the stairs, and he was met with a half wet Sirius who was pulling on a shirt in the same manner James was, and then he winked after- the same way James did. “You’re both disgusting and full of yourselves.” Remus told Sirius as he walked closer. “I’m not denying that, whatever you’re referring to. You all ready?” Sirius inquired to the room. “You want me to drive Lily? Give you and James the back seat?” He asked wiggling his eye brows. 

“Yes, maybe your horrific driving will make remus realize to run away now.” 

“Funny Evans.” Sirius started and then turned to remus, “ready? You good? We can always stay here, I have food to cook.”

“But you don’t have ice cream.”

“Actually we do.”

“You don’t have ice cream cones.”

“So?”

“So? So that’s why you get ice cream. Yes I’m ready.”

Sirius grinned and locked the door behind them. The whole car ride consisted of Sirius encouraging Remus to explain why High School Musical was such a complicated movie.  
James and Lily were almost in tears laughing when they got to where they were going for dinner as Remus got to the end of his casual spiel of why that movie franchise angered him so much.  
•

Dinner flew by and was probably the shortest two hours of Remus’ life. Everyone’s sides hurt from laughing and despite wanting to have a great time, there was a moment where all of the nervousness and uncertainty sort of made remus’ brain blur and he had a trouble breathing. Sirius didn’t notice, but as Remus went to excuse himself to the bathroom, Sirius put a hand on Remus’ knee and squeezed. “Did you hear that? They have chocolate strawberries at the ice cream shop down the road.” Sirius informed him. The contact gave something remus to focus on and allow him to ground himself. It didn’t matter if it had been James, Sirius, or Lily, it really helped him to breathe. 

“So what you’re telling me is we have no choice but to rob the ice cream shop?” Remus came back with, causing the rest of the booth to choke on a laugh. 

“Right, the only logical response.” James added as he took a bite of food off of Lily’s plate.

Remus tuned out Lily and James’ conversation and he felt Sirius lean down and talk to him, “you alright? you went a little white, whiter than normal. you need more water? you need to leave? am I being to annoying right now?” Sirius asked 

“no, you’re being nice, but I’m fine and I’ll be alright. I feel fine, and I’m having fun. are you okay?” Remus asked, putting one of his hands on top of Sirius’ that was still above his knee. Sirius tried not to smile, but Remus saw that glint in Sirius’ stormy eyes indicating he was going to grin before he actually did, “Yeah. yeah, I’m great. I’m really good.” Sirius replied. Remus felt Sirius’ smile melt him, his stomach both knotted up and felt at ease, his mind both became foggy and incredibly clear, but most of all, Remus didn’t even notice that he was smiling back.

the only thing that ruined the moment was James whispering, “gay!” when he saw the two boys looking at each other the way they were.  
-

“What is your secret? How can you just...eat that much ice cream when it’s this cold?” Lily asked Remus, as he nonchalantly started at his cone. “People eat soup in the summer and drink milk in the winter. Seasons shouldnt effect food choice. Ice cream is a universal and multi-seasonal food. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.” Remus replied, he missed the way Sirius smiled at him. When James met Sirius’ eyes, Sirius’ cheeks flushed slightly pink and he ducked his head down, and put his hands in his own pockets. 

“Remus’ controversy is believing ice cream is a cold weather food. I think if that was the biggest moral issue in the world, life would be so much better.” Lily explained as she laced her arm with Remus’ free one. 

“You’re telling me.” Remus murmured and offered some ice cream to Lily. 

“what if you get sick?” James asked and wrapped an arm around sirius’ shoulder. This was letting Sirius know it was okay with James how far Sirius was for Remus, Sirius knew this and James knew this. They both watched Lily and Remus a few inches away share the rest of the dessert. 

“what if I do? at least I’ll be happy James. you don’t want me to give up happiness to avoid a small cold, do you?” 

“I take it back Sirius, there is a way someone can be as dramatic as you.”

“Hey! I heard that.” Remus shot over his shoulder. “No you didn’t!” James said.  
-  
The ride home went from everyone singing Avril Lavigne at the top of their lungs to it being incredibly quiet in less than ten minutes. James and Remus were both asleep, and Lily and Sirius didn’t want to wake them.  
“So, sunshine, did you have a good time?” Lily asked Sirius.  
“I...of course. I didn’t think it would be this...it was great Lils. Like I would make a joke, but I can’t. I loved everything about tonight. Did you see when he got so cold after eating the ice cream that he had to put his hands in my pockets when we walked to the car? I didn’t want him to think I had a problem with it so I talked like normal, but I was having trouble making my brain function. God, I sound ridiculous. This is how you and James used to talk about each other to me and it sounded so stupid.” Sirius murmured, looked down at remus who was out cold with his head on Sirius’ lap.

“You don’t sound stupid. You sound cute. You two half to talk about that you know? You can’t just flirt and stay friends, not when you feel that way.” Lily said as she turned the radio down a little bit. 

“We’ll see. It isn’t just about me.” Sirius let out out as he threaded his fingers through Remus’ hair. He was glad Lily had remus’ address, other wise they would’ve had to wake him to find it. The sad part was once they got there, they had to wake him.

“He looks so peaceful.” James said leaning over him, yawning from just waking up. “He looks too cute.” Lily replied. “Remus.” Sirius said again and poked his cheek. “I think we should just keep him.” James declared, “yeah, how can you oppose that?” Lily questioned as she reached over the seat and poked at Remus’ hip. this only caused him to curl on his side and let out a small whining noise, all of them collectively awed. they heard a front door close near remus’ house and heard someone talking on the phone. They chose to ignore it because it wasn’t prevalent enough, to be a bother. It was mostly background noise, that was until the same voice let out a shrill gasp. “Winnie, no!” 

a quite large dog came up to the car and sat down, wagging its tell. Lily climbed out and ran around to go pet it. “Hi darling!”  
The dog barked repetitively but let Lily pet it. Remus mumbled, “Winnie, shut up.” 

Sirius looked at him, “wait. wait...neighbors dog- oh my god- Alice-“ Sirius got out as the girl came up, “I’m so- remus?” She asked looking over

“Shh, I’m awake.” Remus said climbing out of the car and Winnie jumped up, the dog probably weighed more than remus, yet he let her put her paws on his shoulders. “Hello, you loaf of stupid. Please go home.” he said to her, and motioned toward alices’ house. Winnie whined and then licked Lily’s hand and trotted away. 

“We’re sorry about her. She..I’m so tired.” Remus declared pulling his coat around him.

“Oh my gosh! Hi!” Alice said to Lily and hugged her, “hi! You must be alice! It’s great to meet you, thank you for letting us take your Remus for the afternoon.” Lily grinned, and they looked at remus who was leaning against Sirius. 

“My pleasure, next time I’ll make sure he wakes up later in the day so he has enough energy. He’s like a baby. Or a very old person. Also, nice to meet you, I’m Alice, and my most judgey dog seemed to like you as well, so I’m okay with you to. You have to be James.” Alice said hugging James, he nodded. “Yeah, yeah. It’s good to meet you, Sirius has mentioned you, I briefly saw you the day I met Remus, and he talked about you a lot.” James said. She nodded, “I’d hug you as well Sirius but I make a habit of not bothering Remus unless I have to. But, it was great meeting all of you, I’ll let you guys go because it’s late, but if you don’t have anywhere to be you can come get coffee real quick.”

“Oh, no thank you, we need to be back to our parents in the next half hour. Thank you though.” James said as Alice took Remus and he put his head on her shoulder. 

“It was nice seeing you.” Remus told them, mostly looking at Sirius. “Yeah, it was pretty great.” Sirius answered before hugging Remus goodbye. 

“We will be seeing you again, soon.” James said, “both of you.” He added leaning out the window, Sirius was in the drivers seat now. “Of course. And someone text either of us when you get home safe!” Alice said and they all waved as they left. Lily decided not to bring up the fact that she saw Alice and Remus holding hands and talking to each other excitedly through the rear view mirror as they drove away, however she did smile to herself the whole drive home. 

 

1:19 am  
**good night sunshine. hope you liked your ice cream, also we’re all home safe.**  
im glad you’re all not dead, also I did enjoy it. I liked everything about tonight  
**I bet I liked it more**  
I doubt it. I got to meet James again  
**I got to touch your hair**  
Shelob is jealous that you paid attention to me and not her  
**She should be mad that you didn’t bring her**  
to the game??  
**yes!**  
my cat doesn’t like sports  
**Who says?**  
My cat. She tells me that every morning  
**What a shame, I guess I’ll have to meet her another way**  
I guess so. She is super high maintenance  
**that might be you that you’re talking about**  
me????????? that’s you and Shelob  
**you’re right**  
**I actually did have a really good time**  
me too  
like,,, a lot  
like I’m in trouble with Alice because I didn’t text her back at all to tell her I wasn’t dead  
**you should’ve. I would’ve been okay with out night being interrupted for a second.**  
I wouldn’t have  
**aWWWW you’re too cute**  
**also not to be too upfront but I’m 100% in love with everything about you**  
yes yes I’m too tired to address this but you’re not too bad yourself  
I’m still proud of you for winning but I’m going back to bed  
**awww did you stay up to make sure I got home safe**  
Lily texted me 2 minutes before you did so I was already aware that you were fine  
**That doesn’t answer the question**  
shhh I’m sleeping  
**good night angel**

 

11:27 am  
good morning  
I have your jacket?  
I don’t know why I didn’t notice it last night  
**yeah. you fell asleep on my shoulder in the car and you woke up to tell me that you were cold.**  
**so I gave my coat to you**  
why didn’t you take it back?  
**you looked cute**  
I’m sorry I fell asleep, it was late.  
**It’s okay! James was asleep in the front sleep too so me and lily just talked about how adorable you were**  
mmm you two are creeps  
**or you’re just hot**  
actually, I was cold  
**ha ha ha**  
**very clever**  
thank you  
**I know we talked about it last night but I had a lot of fun**  
**and it was so natural**  
yeah, I mean it wasn’t that awkward  
I had buzzfeed quizzes ready on my phone in case we ran out of stuff to talk about  
**of course you did**  
they’re informational  
**they’re meant to be jokes**  
fine. let’s take one. pick an appetizer : pecan brie bites, onion dip, meatballs, or french tartlets  
**only for you would I partake in this**  
**French tartlets**  
pick a drink : cranberry juice, cucumber water, virgin sangria, or iced latte coffee  
**ew uh cucumber water**  
pick some bread : jalapeño corn bread, banana bread, dinner roles , or garlic knots  
**banana bread**  
(good choice it’s the only right one)  
pick a main dish : rosemary turkey, shrimp scampi, salad, or tacos  
**tacos**  
pick a side : vegetables, corn pudding, sausage stuffing (please don’t make a dirty joke), or mashed potatoes  
**vegetables**  
**NO**  
**MASHED POTATOES**  
okie dokie  
now pick a dessert : pumpkin pie, stuffed apples, brownies, ice cream cake  
**pumpkin pie**  
okay  
how much faith do you put in these quizzes  
**no faith**  
**they’re lies**  
wow  
very interesting  
**why**  
so you just took the quiz (through me) called ‘eat a feast and we’ll tell tell you a fact about your future significant other  
**oh no**  
apparently they’ll be shorter than you  
**yes!! you’re a lil baby**  
bUT  
**oh no what**  
you said these quizzes were fake and whatever they said would be lies  
**REMUS**  
**don’t do this to me**  
you did this to yourself  
**I’m so glad we didn’t do this over dinner**  
do what? reveal the truth  
**YOU DRAMA QUEEN**  
you’re the drama queen  
getting so over worked about buzz feed  
let a boy have fun  
**you’re impossible**  
and don’t you forget it 

2:36 pm  
you and your jacket smell like roses what’s up with that  
**I’m magic**  
mmmm no  
**yes I am**  
**Actually I’m just great**  
Something tells me I shouldn’t have asked this question and just pretended like you roll in flower patches every morning at exactly 7:03 am  
**yes**  
**that’s exactly what it is, how did you figure out my secret**  
I’m magic  
**original**  
it may not be, but it’s funny  
**of course it is**  
**so this might sound weird**  
when has that ever stopped you  
**Let me talk without the salt please**  
Okie I’m sorry  
**I think we should talk**  
We are talking  
**About us**  
umm is it bad or good  
**that depends on you**  
what about me?  
**what you want**  
I want you to stop being cryptic and tell me what you’re thinking  
**I’m thinking we finally met, and it’s a lot easier than we thought. We live close together, we get along, our friends get along, we know a lot about each other and we can talk to each other, and besides your stupid buzzfeed quizzes I like everything about you so much  
and If that’s too quick for you that’s okay, if we need to hang out a lot more, for several more weeks or whatever before you can even think about making a choice, that’s okay. it’s perfectly okay, I need you to be comfortable enough with me to be able to say no but I also need to be able to tell you what I’m thinking**  
I know  
I know  
It’s just a lot and so much. A few months ago if you told me this is where I’d be, I’d laugh. You’re great, but I’m still going through stuff and I need to know I can handle everything by my self before I can let someone else be there for me  
And I also can’t rush it, because it’s all so new  
**I get that**  
I’m not saying I don’t want this  
I’m saying we probably won’t be just friends for ever, I’m saying we can slowly transfer into whatever it is we want  
Naturally  
**Yes. Yeah.**  
But I don’t want that pressure on us whenever we hang out or trying to force romantics on us. I liked last night. I loved it  
**Me too Remus, I really really did**  
And I know you can’t wait forever so I’m trying  
**I can**  
**I will if you need me to. Don’t rush anything you don’t want, and if you want me to stop waiting, just tell me.**  
You know it’s never just been friends with us, you know that. I know that. Just talking about it is a lot different  
I know that  
I’m a mess  
Like I’m a poor excuse for a person Sirius, you have to know that. I have very bad days and you’re so sweet and you try and help everyone but when you find out you can’t just fix me and sometimes I stay distant for days, I don’t want that to make you feel bad  
**It won’t. Yes I like being there for people but you can’t be fixed, you’re not broken Remus. You have chemical imbalances and sometimes you don’t know what you want and you won’t know what you want me to do for you, but I’ll help you figure it out. I know I can’t do anything but hold your hand and that’s okay.**  
**Sometimes i get upset to and you understand more than anyone that it’s not anyone’s fault. I won’t ever make you feel bad for feeling bad, even if we don’t date. Even now, as friends, you know you’re allowed to be upset**  
God stop being so good at everything  
Stop  
Pick something. Sports. Good with emotions. Looks. Smartness. Creativity. Pick one. You can’t have them all  
**Why not? You have them all as well**  
sIRIUS  
stop  
I’m actually freaking out over you, you pea brain  
**some how I took that as a compliment**  
good  
**So are we good?**  
We’re good. We’re working on stuff  
**I like you and I’m willing to wait**  
I l*ke you and I’m willing to figure my shit out  
**did you just censor ‘like’**  
sorry there’s been a lot of emotions today and I had to assert my stone cold personality back in there a little bit  
**you’re so adorable**  
sTop pLeASE  
**you’re very very adorable**  
**Wait**  
**Lily wants to know what Alice thought of her**  
Alice met you all for . 5 seconds but she loves you all  
Especially because of how excited you all got over our loaf  
**The doG??? I love it !!**  
If you didn’t we would have an issue  
But Alice really did like you, she said you’re all hot  
**She’s kinda cute too**  
Kinda?  
She’s freaking gorgeous what the hell  
**sorry I just think you’re freaking gorgeous the most**  
mmhm  
**I know we were just talking about not putting pressure on each other and I get that but last night james said he’d see you two again soon, and I was thinking like..it can be soon or not soon but I want a planned meet this time. so I can spend more time on my hair**  
it looked fine  
**yes but usually it looks flawless**  
it looked great  
but anytime really  
as long as it’s after Wednesday  
**what’s Wednesday**  
lots of appointments and work and something with alices family and I’m getting new sleeping medicine also tonight so I’ll be weird until then and I don’t want to be like that  
**why new medicines?**  
it’s less of a risk in terms of mixing with my other ones, and it will make me less groggy. It probably won’t mess me up that bad but I just like to be careful  
**Okay. Just tell me if there’s something I can do or something you want to talk about if it does mess you up**  
I’ll be okay  
**Remus**  
I’ll be okay bUT thank you for the offer and if something possibly does come up I’ll be aware that you are an option to talk to  
**you’re very dangerously independent**  
I’m working on it  
**so after Wednesday**  
**I don’t have anything set up on weekends for the next three weekends**  
You can come over this weekend. We can all do bowling or roller skating, and then back to Alices  
because she has a movie projector and it’s great  
**James and Lily can come?**  
You have to bring James and Lily  
**I feel like you’re using me for my friends**  
No, there’s strength in numbers  
also,,, uh there will be a frank  
**......**  
:)  
remember how much you want to meet Shelob  
**Shelob will be there?**  
Yeah I have to come back home to feed her and talk to her occasionally, you can come with me  
**“And talk to her”**  
Yeah her gets lonely  
**I cannot believe in a few days I’m going to get to hold our child and beat your ass at bowling**  
you may win at bowling but there’s an arcade in the bowling alley and air hockey and the racing game, I’ll annihilate you  
**you’re so cute like no one beats me at air hockey**  
If you win I’ll be bitter but if you let me win on purpose I’ll be super bitter  
**...so I’m trapped**  
no  
because I’ll beat you anyway. That’s just a warning  
**You’re terrifying**  
**It’s so hot**

7:18 pm  
How can a tooth-rotting soda be bad for my baby if my baby doesn’t have teeth?  
**snjswkek wHAT**  
one time when I was at the doctor you told me to tell yo I the weirdest thing I heard  
and I did it again  
**yOU HEARD THAT ??**  
**FROM A REAL PERSON**  
YES  
a real baby haver  
**... a parent**  
oh shit yeah  
listen don’t judge me judge mrs soda mom  
**it’s a valid question though**  
no  
she was feeding her baby soda through the bottle  
it’s like 1  
**oh no**  
apparently she’s only been doing it a few hours so the small person is fine  
**good we love a healthy baby**  
even if it’s a terrifying thing, it needs care  
**that’s a new slogan**  
for babies?  
**yes**  
every adoption agency should have that plastered on walls  
**That won’t give the children much self esteem**  
I’m talking about in the baby section  
They can’t read  
**you’re right remus, a solid plan**  
I get that a lot  
you on the other hand, I know it’s a foreign concept  
**hey! name one bad plan**  
!!! we don’t have time  
**you’re right as soon as I hit send I was like “Sirius what the fuck”**  
1\. The frogs !!  
**okay I get it**  
you were in a ceiling with a skunk recently  
**nothing bad happened**  
YOU WERE IN A CEILING WITH A SKUNK RECENTLY  
**it happens to everyone at one point**  
when they take my blood pressure it’s going to be spiked because of this conversation  
**you’re welcome**  
okay I’m going to go get (legal) drugs bye  
**okay but the (legal) isn’t necessary you nerd**  
**have fun**

(3:01 am)  
tired  
**go to sleep**  
not tired enough  
but too tired  
**didn’t they give you new medicine**  
yes  
**did you take it?**  
yES  
it just hates me  
**the medicine hates you?**  
yes  
**would you like me to have a stern conversation with it**  
no I’m too tired to go get it  
**well tomorrow then**  
tomorrow  
**shouldn’t you be asleep**  
sometimes I can’t when they mix it up  
don’t you love being friends with a drug cocktail  
**yeah it really keeps me on my toes and don’t talk about your self with negative connotation, you’re just taking chemicals that your brain doesn’t make enough of so you have the same things as everyone else, and you’re taking drugs to stay alive. like,, if normal chemicals aren’t available, store bought is fine**  
you’re right I’m just stupid  
no  
sorry  
I’m just tired I apologize  
**it’s okay, you’re working on it**  
why aren’t you asleep  
**because it’s 3 am and I just got back to my dorm room, I was in the common room with some friends and James and I took a nap on a bean bag chair earlier**  
wait  
**what**  
you go to a boarding school  
**yes**  
we went to your parents the other day, and you stayed the night there  
**yes**  
that’s not how boarding schools work  
**no, no it’s not. however I liver very close to the school and so does lily, a lot of people from the area do. and they make sure no ones in the hall ways at 11 so if we’re out past then we just go to our parents**  
so,,, you’re not even actually getting the boarding school experience  
**no**  
**:)**  
cheater  
**I mean to be fair we’re allowed to be in town some days**  
**it just so happens the potters live in town**  
why did I never think about this before  
**probably because you just assumed everything about me is so complicated and mysterious, it’s better left undiscovered**  
you know what isn’t complicated  
**what?**  
me wanting sleep  
goodnight  
**goodnight. call me if you can’t sleep**  
okie ! text me if you need me, I won’t reply till the morning probably but it’s the thought that counts  
**you’re right**  
**goodnight mooncake**


End file.
